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My life is Fuc**d

(9 Posts)
Blossomflowers Wed 12-Nov-14 12:16:57

I was going to name change as feel so ashamed. I need to help AGAIN and maybe some practical advice too.

Just a bit of background for those who don't know me. Split from my X about a year ago, he had MH issues, money problems and was a pretty crap father to our DS and I carried him for years eventually but had the courage to boot him out. Past year we have continued to see each other we have a strange relationship, I still love despite all things. I know my life would be better if only I could break free but just seem unable to do it. He is little comfort and support to me as he is too selfish and wrapped up in his own problems. He keeps promising me money but it never seems to happen.
Anyway it has been a bad time, had a break in earlier this year, been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, badly damaged my teeth in fall are just a few things, fallen out with DS1 ( another story but basically kept asking for money and me to babysit GK's but mentally and financially unable to help him) and now relationship broken

I have just started counselling and it has become clear I am extremely depressed and sad to admit had serious thoughts of ending it all. Biggest problem is I am in huge debt and due to my MH issues have really buried my head in the sand. I am a fool.. I have an appointment booked with GP tomorrow as think short medication could help, have spoken to Mind and Business Debt line. So some small steps. But I feel overwhelmed by everything. I need to try and convince ILR to cut me a bit of slack but they play hard ball and I am in serious danger of loosing everything. I cannot sleep, feel so stressed I can hardly breath and am drinking far to much just to feel normal.

Don't know what else to say but ant advice or tips on what I can do to help myself out of this that would be truely amazing but think I am a lost cause. Thanks for reading a bit epic

roland83 Wed 12-Nov-14 12:23:07

I'm sorry to hear you are having such an awful time at the moment, it's not surprising you are struggle as everything seems to be going wrong for you.

I'm not good with advice, but I just wanted to say that 8yrs ago I went bankrupt, and I can understand that terrible sinking feeling of debt. I just wanted to say it wasn't bad at all, and if it comes to that then there is life after debts and sometimes it can be the fresh start you need.

The moneysavingexpert site has a debt forum which can be a great support.

I'm sure other's will be along to help with the relationship side of thing.

Have a hug x

Joysmum Wed 12-Nov-14 12:29:47

Ditto money saving expert site.

It's really worth getting in touch with a specialised advice service re the debt. I didn't find the citizens advice service much cop tbh when helping a family member. Don't fall into the trap of going to a business who you have to pay to help you reach agreements with your creditors.

Life can seem pretty overwhelming when you've got a lot to feel overwhelmed with and I'm glad you're seeing the GP, but getting professional advice from a non profit organisation about voluntary repayments and agreements with creditors to freeze interest payments is the first step. thanks

Quitelikely Wed 12-Nov-14 12:37:24

Have the debt folk contacted all the people you owe money to? To offer them a monthly amount?

Have you done this? Could you call them all and offer £5 per month. Tell them it's all you have spare and that you are getting debt advice.

Do take meds if you're depressed. They do help things.

Do you own your own home?

Blossomflowers Wed 12-Nov-14 15:32:44

Sadly not quite as simple as that quite have a debt management plan which has run perfectly. Current problem is Revenue and Customs who care not whether you were going to hang yourself and will listen to no reason, am taking advise about that. My life is one horrible mess and just don't want to be in it anymore. Whilst X sends me nice texts everyday and seems obliviuos to what I am suffering. Is coming for tea tomorrow we will sit and chat like all times and nothing has changed but then he will up and go "home"

LisaMed Wed 12-Nov-14 15:53:45

I've no advice but sending massive hugs.

Mum4Fergus Wed 12-Nov-14 15:56:57

OP we have a great thread running over in Money for people in the same position as you...you'll get lots of finance specific advise there xx

Blossomflowers Wed 12-Nov-14 16:05:11

lisathank you, I hope you are not thinking oh no not her again.
mum thanks I will try and find that thread.

Blossomflowers Thu 13-Nov-14 12:30:21

Well seen GP and AD's prescribed. A bit of money coming in hopefully by end of month might but me a bit more time. Talking to various money charities and MIND.

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