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Do you ever feel people are laughing at you?!

(18 Posts)
wakeywakeyteaandcakey Tue 11-Nov-14 22:18:15

What I mean is if you've had loads of shit to deal with the last few years, do you think people are laughing at you behind your back like they think you're a joke? As in friends and family?

For instance if your life turned upside down to the point it was almost like a soap opera and if people didn't witness most of it they'd think you were either bonkers or a liar. If this has happened to you, have you got any success stories you could share? Maybe how you got out of the massive black hole you've managed to find yourself in?

I'm not very good at explaining myself so I'm hoping someone understand what I'm trying to get at.

AddToBasket Tue 11-Nov-14 22:19:31

People aren't laughing at you - they are too busy thinking about themselves.

You don't sound OK though. What happened?

Bessiebigpants Tue 11-Nov-14 22:50:54

Yep I've been there,I'm certain that people thought I got what I deserved.My life was a mess for the first year and has improved moderately this year.Ive just entered the 3rd year and things are finally much better for me.Make a plan with small steps don t expect things to change overnight.Aim for small victories and do as I say not as I did and see your doctor for help.
Really my life would not have looked out of place on an episode of Jeremy Kyle.I live in a small community and people were talking about me and the scandal.Thank goodness the children were too little to know half of what was going on.Truthfully now it's old news and no one really cares even though it taught me a tough lesson about what and who really matter.

FergusSingsTheBlues Tue 11-Nov-14 23:00:15

Yep. I've been there. Rise above it...things change in the end. Maintain your dignity and you'll be ok.

Wrapdress Wed 12-Nov-14 02:27:42

I just put it out there using humor. Evidently I was put on Earth to "collect experiences" and that's what I am doing! smile

heyday Wed 12-Nov-14 06:00:40

Genuine friends don't laugh at me during difficult times, I must admit that they have offered unbelievable love and support, Thankfully or else not sure how I would have got through the nightmare years.
My life has often resembled a bizarre soap opera and the troubles come thick and fast. A coping mechanism I have found that helps is to try to find some humour in adversity if possible. Sometimes life is so bloody awful that if I didn't step back and laugh (in almost disbelief) then I think I just wouldn't be able to cope. It certainly helps to smile and even laugh at times, even in the darkest times just to bring a tiny glimmer of light even if it is just for a brief moment.
Sounds as if you are having a tough time right now???
Black holes, even the blackest ones do tend to pass..... Eventually.
I can't say I have succeed in overcoming my endless problems as they are pretty much insurmountable but I try to think of the positives in my life when I am at my lowest point and know that, as tough as life is, it could be much, much worse and I need to try and focus on that.

HumblePieMonster Wed 12-Nov-14 07:19:30

almost everyone.

alongcamespiders Wed 12-Nov-14 11:13:53

I have felt the same way. My life, to me, has seemed like an absolute car crash, I have felt people distancing themselves over time and the ones who are left, some are kind. Some are thoughtless, it can be upsetting but I a
So feel that I am learning valuable lessons. It has taken me a long time to get the lessons, I grew up with no support nor appropriate boundaries, I surrounded myself with dodgy, damaged people and now I'm in my 40s I'm only just learning the basic things that help to keep us safe.
If the people in your life make you feel bad about the shit you've experienced then don't share that shit with them, find better people t shre it with and get some help for you too so that you can learn about patterns in your life, why they happen and how to change them.

wakeywakeyteaandcakey Wed 12-Nov-14 15:51:05

Sorry for the delay. I have had a bad few years and as soon as it seems to look better something happens and back at square one I am! I've given up talking to some of my friends as it really seems they don't have the time to listen anymore. I do use humour as I find it eases me slightly. Sorry to come across as woe is me. Just wanted to hear success stories so I know there is light at the end if the tunnel. thanks

imyourhuckleberry Wed 12-Nov-14 17:03:03

I sometimes feel like this. The truth is most people are more preoccupied with their own dramas. There will always be jealous, bitter or cruel people in the world but they are not worth worrying about. But that's easy to say and hard to do.

heyday Wed 12-Nov-14 20:51:43

Not sure that there's light at the end of the tunnel as such. I think I have become more resilient as the years have gone past but the pattern of my life generally has been to go from one train crash, a short lull, a lesser train crash and then another full on train crash.
Personally I would say life has generally got better over the years though but living with long term illness, a very challenging family and very little money just always means that it's hard, or sometimes virtually impossible, to dig myself out of the wreckage as I seem to be overwhelmed with garbage.
Still, as I saidearlier, I do try to focus on the positives; of the things that I have ie a roof over my head, a warm bed, enough food to eat, clean water to drink and access to free health care. I also remind myself that I am very fortunate in the things that I don't have; cancer, abusive partner, living my life in a war torn country etc etc. it's all a bit dramatic I know but I do try and ground myself a bit when I am beginning to feel sorry for myself.
I guess sometimes the only real light at the end of the tunnel is the ability to see life as 'the glass half full' rather than 'the glass half empty'.

wakeywakeyteaandcakey Wed 12-Nov-14 21:33:46

Heyday you're absolutely right there though. I do think of the positives and remember no matter how bad I think I have it there are people out there who would kill for what I have. It's remembering those things that hasn't sent me down the depression road(well it has, but I try and pull myself put of it) I've developed a drink problem. I would drink every single day. I haven't touched a drop since last Friday. Which is quite normal for most people, but for me that's a huge thing. And I have to keep reminding myself that I shouldn't be praising myself for trying to be a normal person. The fact I'm trying to stop is making me worse as I want one more than ever. Almost like I'm craving it. Pathetic I know.

I've also recently lost my job and I'm trying my best to find another, but it's so hard this close to Xmas. The dole doesn't even cover my rent and I've enough for two more months and if I don't get anything I'm going to be homeless. Council won't do anything as I'm in a flat share no contract and I've recently found out the person I rent from is illegally subletting as this is housing association. I came here as it was the first place I found that was suitable as I was running away from an abusive ex. I could go on and it gets worse than that. I don't wish to feel sorry for myself because I know I can get up and get back on my feet. I always do. It's just this time it seems harder than ever. Thanks for listening thanks

heyday Wed 12-Nov-14 22:30:06

Sounds like you have a lot of rotten stuff going on right now.
I have just come through the worst 5 months of my life and I truly couldn't see a way out of it but then one day things came to a head and life suddenly started to turn itself around which I truly did not believe could possibly happen. Guess I am saying, hang on in there, you never know what's around the next corner, you never know, it might just be something good.
Try contacting Shelter as they may be able to advise you about your housing situation. I know it must be hard to find work in these tough economic times.
It does seem that once life kicks a person down it can be very hard to pick oneself up again especially with little money as opportunities are very limited then.
I hope you have at least one person to trust and confide in. Do you belong to a church or any other sort of community (other than Mumsnet) where there may be people to reach out to for support during these tough times.
I do know it's so hard to keep going sometimes and even harder to feel any sort of optimism for the future but I guess we have to try to hang on to hope somehow. Thinking about reality can be too overwhelming sometimes.
Well done for cutting out the drinking. I do know from past experience what a crutch it can seem, but we all know that it can quickly take over and destroy lives so please carry on trying to resist.
I hope things somehow start to pick up for you soon.

wakeywakeyteaandcakey Sun 16-Nov-14 20:05:02

Hi hay thank you. I have three interviews this week. Two tomorrow and one on Wednesday which is for a national dept store part time sat and sun, but it's at 22.30? Is that weird? I hopefully hope to just secure a job and I think everything will fall into place. I'm day 9 of not drinking. I am bored out of my mind, but will continue to stay off the drink. Hope things are getting better for you too.

heyday Sun 16-Nov-14 21:23:59

All any of us can do is take one day at a time. I wish you success with the interviews. Don't get too despondent if you are not successful as securing a job in these tough economic times is not easy but be positive and if all else fails then pick yourself up, brush yourself down and keep on fighting.
Let us know how you get on. Good luck.

wakeywakeyteaandcakey Sun 16-Nov-14 23:15:01

I will do and thank you thanks

wakeywakeyteaandcakey Wed 19-Nov-14 18:20:03

Hi hay, how are things with you? I have great news. I was offered two jobs today!! One was more money and starts Monday so I'd be a fool not to take it so I did smile I'm delighted. I can't believe it. I honestly didn't think I'd get anything and here I am! Thank you for your words they really helped me. And I pulled myself together and went out there and went for several interviews got rejected a few times. I'd love to say I'm going to open a bottle to celebrate, but I feel really good coming this far without it I've decided to have a cup of tea instead. So cheersbrew

heyday Wed 19-Nov-14 22:11:09

Oh, wakey I am delighted to hear your news and thanks for letting us know.
Sounds like your positive thinking has really helped.
Very proud of you for not cracking open a bottle. It can, sadly, be a very slippery road downhill very quickly.
I hope the job goes well and that you continue to find the strength to get through all the ups and downs of life.
Onwards and upwards now eh!!!!!!!

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