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Councillor verses self help books - advice

(6 Posts)
GoldenMama Tue 11-Nov-14 19:25:27

Hi, so my husband left a year ago we have 2 children and we see a lot of him still, a little too much probably.

I am still very confused about our relationship and am really struggling with moving on. Not that I want a new man kind of moving on, but some closure and distance from ex would definitely be good for me, and probably for him as well.

I have a good support network of friends and family around me, but fed up of hearing myself talk about it and not feeling like i am getting very far with my understanding and emotions. I went for an initial consultation with a councillor

GoldenMama Tue 11-Nov-14 19:31:02

Wasn't finished!!

Councillor was alright, think with an hour I felt worse at times, but better later that day. However not sure sitting in a room with a stranger talking about myself and my failed marriage is going to do much different from a good self help book (if there is one for me?) Where I am comfortable by myself exploring ways to move past this.

So I suppose I am after opinions, experiences and and books you lovely people know of that have helped you or someone you know?

confusedsadangry??

Meerka Tue 11-Nov-14 19:54:02

You can get good theoretical understanding from self-help books which really can be useful.

There seems to be something extra from person-to-person interaction though. As long as you click with the therapist - that's very important.

I believe that some studies have shown that the approach of the therapist matters less than the connection between the two of you. I do think the type of therapy can be really important depending on the problem though. Still, the click is vital.

So I think both self-help books and the person-to-person stuff is important!

GoldenMama Tue 11-Nov-14 20:18:45

Thanks. Any particular books you know of?
Trying to get a better understanding of where it was a bad relationship and find the good things as well to hold onto for any future relationships. Also separating my mind from the marriage to let go of it.

holdyourown Tue 11-Nov-14 21:07:12

there's a book called "the healing journey through divorce" which I found good OP - got it on amazon. It's quite practical too

GoldenMama Tue 11-Nov-14 22:18:55

Thank you I will have a look at that.

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