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need help dumping a frenemy

(12 Posts)
Baytree Tue 11-Nov-14 07:30:52

The Frenemy is in a group of 4 women. We meet around 4 times a year but havent met since June and then the Frenemy wasnt there. Her and her husband run a local restaurant at a nearby campsite where my kids play in Summer. her kids are grown up. Our paths generally dont cross.

I've cooled things down as she fancies my DP and makes comments disguised as compliments to me. but one of the womens group has invited us for a meal next week. Only when I replied yes I'll come has she said yes too. She has now sent an email to me saying we must get together with partners and we can chat about a date when we see each other next week. I haven't replied to the email and welcome advice on how to handle things.

Her stunts included blanking me in the local supermarket (3 times) then being all over me like a rash at other times. Texting my DP with recipe ideas and pictures of dishes. Coming to sit with us when we were having a meal. Flirting with DP and when alone with me making weird, blunt and nasty comments disguised as humour. I had a chat about her with my DP so he knows my feelings towards her and we stopped going as regularly to the campsite and have made no effort to get in touch with them.

I want to give her a good kick so she doesn't get a toe hold back into our lives. Help please.

Joysmum Tue 11-Nov-14 08:02:33

Say you're busy in the run up till Christmas. To directly drop her would only work if you weren't part of a wider circle of friends.

Sunna Tue 11-Nov-14 08:04:01

Yup. You are too busy in the run up to Christmas.

DinnaeKnowShitFromClay Tue 11-Nov-14 08:45:18

Far far too busy. It's a busy time.

MerdeAlor Tue 11-Nov-14 08:54:31

I don't see too much of a problem from your post OP. I see that you don't like her, that much is clear. You are reading an awful lot into her behaviour.

Just keep her at arms length. Surely it doesn't have to be a problem if your paths don't cross. You can be polite and turn down invitations without it becoming a thing. Whatever you do, don't become overfocussed on her. Just get on with your life.

Baytree Tue 11-Nov-14 09:10:23

Thanks for the words "Whatever you do, don't become overfocussed on her. Just get on with your life". You're right.

emotionsecho Tue 11-Nov-14 09:27:59

At the evening out don't overly interact with her, be polite, do just enough to ensure there is nothing that could be picked up as you being rude. Ignore nasty comments, change the subject, talk to someone else. Answer any suggestions of an evening out with you being far too busy and then quietly distance yourself and don't give her another thought.


Its easy to feel uneasy with a woman who fancies our dh's. From personal advice don't obess over it it will drive you round the bend. As long as your dh is not meeting her on his own or engaging with her nasty comments then you will be fine.

peppaistired Tue 11-Nov-14 14:16:05

She doesn't sound like a frenemy but a right enemy, OP. Stay away, don't engage, dump.

Baytree Tue 11-Nov-14 14:29:11

Thanks all of you-it helps. I don't know the word for it -is it serendipity? A good friend just sent me a business project opportunity, starting in January for 3 months. I've just applied so that would keep me busy post Xmas too! Fingers crossed!

professornangnang Tue 11-Nov-14 16:15:53

Get DH to block her number

Hissy Tue 11-Nov-14 19:59:39

just blank her back! don't reply, fuck her! she's not important to you

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