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Was this a serious proposal or circumstantial impulse??

(13 Posts)
HereBeHubbubs Mon 10-Nov-14 18:59:38

I think I already know the answer but I just need others to confirm it so I can get it out of my mind.

I'm very much in love with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. We are both mid 40s and never been married before. In fact, he's the first man who's ever asked me.

But a week or so after a heart attack, he said something about not appreciating what you have and then just asked me to marry him in passing.

Whilst my insides have imploded with excitement, because it was just a passing comment in front of the tele on the sofa one night, and his recent trauma, I am in disbelief of course. So although I said yes, I have stayed cool about it.

My worry/feeling is that because of the above factors he probably wasn't being serious, was hehmm and I don't want to torture myself with the idea he'll turn round in a few days/weeks/months and apologise for being rash and that I should understand he wasn't in a normal frame of mind because of his heart attack, and so on.

RaisingMen Mon 10-Nov-14 19:01:49

If he was sober, it's a serious proposal. It may not have been all love hearts and fireworks, but his recent scare has obviously made him realise what is important to him and he wants you to be his wife. Congratulations!

Stopanuary Mon 10-Nov-14 19:03:05

I would have thought a serious proposal after a momentous life altering & life re-evaluation event - i.e. his heart attack.

Ask him?

FabULouse Mon 10-Nov-14 19:12:56

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Chaseface Mon 10-Nov-14 19:50:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quitelikely Mon 10-Nov-14 20:26:30

Congratulations! I think it was serious flowers

Antiprocrastination Mon 10-Nov-14 20:30:00

I would imagine it is serious. Congratulations!

I agree his heart attack may have made him reevaluate his life. Why not drop some wedding stuff into everyday chat and see what he says.

dadwood Mon 10-Nov-14 20:32:35

My proposal to my wife was very low key and during a conversation about the future in a restaurant. I sure meant it. Some people are just low key!

HereBeHubbubs Mon 10-Nov-14 20:39:59

Thankyou for your replies smile

I don't know where that Hmm emote came from, I meant to put one of these:


I just don't know whether to get excited or not. We lost a baby a few months ago and the opportunity to tell people we were pregnant was taken away from us by my sister who deliberately spilled the beans, so the thought of getting all excited about the future again - especially in light of the recent heart attack and what that could have meant, but thankfully didn't.
I'm an overthinker, in case you haven't noticed blush

dadwood Mon 10-Nov-14 20:41:01


Itsfab Mon 10-Nov-14 20:45:11

Do you not know him well enough to know if he was serious or not? confused.

dadwood Mon 10-Nov-14 20:45:58

My MIL spilled the beans on my wife's pregnancy. My wife was absolutely incensed.

I reckon it's good news, he has had serious things on his mind and he'll have been thinking about it, you are just going to have to double check it with him before booking a venue.

RaisingMen Mon 10-Nov-14 21:14:24

Sorry to hear about your loss. Speak to him, then get excited! Sounds like you both could do with something to look forward to x

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