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Shaking - help me, shall I go to confront DH

(221 Posts)
Yikesivedoneitagain Mon 10-Nov-14 13:06:27

I am shaking please could I have a bit of advice?

DH has had full rash over his body and also a chest infection so didn't go in to work today. I'm off on maternity leave.

He went to dr on weekend but lost his prescription so went to get another one also to see GP as OOH GP wasn't sure about rash.

He told me GP wants blood tests. I saw in his cupboard a blood test form saying 'STD check ' and convinced myself it was a 'standard check'...

He has just gone to his friends to get his lost prescription, as GP refused to give another.

I looked back in cupboard and I have found a leaflet from sexual health clinic saying to come back at 1 pm sad

Please help - shall I go to the clinic (about 10 min walk) and ask him wtf he is doing there?

He wa out till 5 am on Saturday sad

Has he fucked someone else?

ravenmum Mon 10-Nov-14 13:13:45

How long have you been together? These things can go undiagnosed for years, and you can get them from using needles, or rarely from blood transfusions. He might be waiting to see if it really is that because he doesn't want to scare you. As you're scared, now, though, you might as well ask.

Yikesivedoneitagain Mon 10-Nov-14 13:14:17

Right I've got to go down there.

Please if you think of something I can say?

Is there any other reason he would go to gum clinic?

magoria Mon 10-Nov-14 13:14:23

If it was only Saturday would he show any syptoms yet?

He would be a bloody idiot to leave the form around.

Perhaps the Dr insisted on a full check just to rule out anything before other tests.

Otherwise he could have slept around. Do you really want to go and confront him in front of a room full of strangers?

Leave the leaflet somewhere obvious so he know you have seen it.

And unfortunately book yourself in for a check up now just in case.

Yikesivedoneitagain Mon 10-Nov-14 13:15:36

We have been together 6 years. I have lots of gynae trouble, so have been tested as recently as 4 weeks ago, since dr likes to rule this out. DH knows this.

ravenmum Mon 10-Nov-14 13:17:12

Was he on antibiotics for the chest infection before the rash?

ravenmum Mon 10-Nov-14 13:18:23

With syphilis, for example, it can come back years later, so sometimes people think it's gone away ages ago then get a nasty surprise.

Yikesivedoneitagain Mon 10-Nov-14 13:18:46

He had antibiotics two weeks ago, for chest infection (he said). Then went again on weekend as still has chest infection.

Wonc Mon 10-Nov-14 13:18:59

Do not go and confront him. I've done similar and it ended badly.

Wait. Sit on the couch. Force yourself to wait for his return.

I hope it is not bad news sad

ravenmum Mon 10-Nov-14 13:19:57

During the quiet phase they're not infectious. www.nhs.uk/conditions/Syphilis/Pages/Introduction.aspx

CurlyWurlyCake Mon 10-Nov-14 13:20:28

Don't go down there. If your shaking now think what you will be like when you get there.

Yikesivedoneitagain Mon 10-Nov-14 13:20:58

I'm going. I can't not sad

ravenmum Mon 10-Nov-14 13:21:01

Sometimes when you come off antibiotics, you can get a whole-body rash - after you've just come off them, normally. Do you still have the box? Have a look at the possible side-effects.

Yikesivedoneitagain Mon 10-Nov-14 13:21:16

I'm an idiot. But I can't not go

Yikesivedoneitagain Mon 10-Nov-14 13:22:05

Haven't got box.

Rash isn't on his penis. Maybe rash is a red herring. Maybe he slept around and now wants to check while he has day off work.

Northumberlandlass Mon 10-Nov-14 13:23:17

I wouldn't go Yikes, but we can't stop you.
The leaflet says to 'come back at 1pm' ? So he has been to GUM earlier and you thought he was at docs?

Not sure what to say really sad

sandybeaches Mon 10-Nov-14 13:23:30

Please don't panic, doctors do order STI checks as routine sometimes. When I went on the pill after having DS1 I had lots of spotting, like a constant period. Went to GP to discuss this & he insisted on a STI check. Happily, faithfully married. I didn't bother going as I knew there was no point (it was just the pill I was on) but from docs point of view I could have cheated or my parter on me (without my knowledge). Neither of these thing were the case but in terms of my health, it was possible so he had to rule it out.

Xx

lunar1 Mon 10-Nov-14 13:24:59

Wait for him to come back. Has he been tested before?

Fontella Mon 10-Nov-14 13:25:15

I must admit ... I'd go down there as well, but that's just me. Not saying it's the right thing to do, or not, but it's what I would do.

Not a hell of a lot he can do to deny when you catch him sat in the STD clinic is there? The look on his face when you walk in should tell you all you need to know OP.

ravenmum Mon 10-Nov-14 13:25:19

Sounds like you have reason to suspect him? If so, sorry you're in this situation :-(

mmgirish Mon 10-Nov-14 13:25:24

I would go too. I wouldn't be able to help myself either. Good luck, let's hope it's some kind of misunderstanding...

Yikesivedoneitagain Mon 10-Nov-14 13:26:09

Thanks all. I have come out for fresh air. I don't trust him. If that was it, Sandy, why lie about going to friends house and then rush out?

Clinic gives a slip to come back later as it's so busy. I go myself quite a bit, as I said, so he can't be worried about underlying pre-me and him stuff surely?

Yikesivedoneitagain Mon 10-Nov-14 13:27:32

Thanks. I'm going there now. If he's in there I'm not going to say a word - just hand him the paper.

BobbyGentry Mon 10-Nov-14 13:27:37

Congratulations on maternity leave. You will need to go to clinic pronto to rule out syphilis and any subsequent intrauterine infections. Never mind hubby, think of your own health first and that of your baby; sorry to not sound more positive.

ravenmum Mon 10-Nov-14 13:28:03

Not sure what the look on his face will tell you really, though, as even if he caught it before you met and is worried about a recurrence he'll still feel guilty if you appear.

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