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Birthday Party Nightmare

(35 Posts)
mummymummymillionmillion Mon 10-Nov-14 08:02:08

Think I have invited too many people to DS party. There are 50 kids so far confirmed, people did not reply so I just invited more now I am worried the people that have not yet replied will turn up and we will not fit in my house!. Some people have yet to confirm at his preschool. (the kids with Mum's I do not know) and I was going to write a note to them today and post in their kids going home boxes. I want to make it plain that if they don't confirm the RSVP then they cannot come to the party but don't want to sound like mean Mum!

"If you have not done so already please can you confirm whether you will be attending xxx Party by Wednesday. We need to finalise the numbers. As we are tight on Space, no confirmation, no entry. Please text or e-mail xxx on xxx"

Does that sound ok?

Vivacia Mon 10-Nov-14 08:05:08

If your son's 45 that's probably ok. If he's 4 or 5, probably not.

Ragwort Mon 10-Nov-14 08:06:22

50 shock !!

Do you live in a mansion?

What happens if they all suddenly reply saying 'yes please we will be coming'. And what are you actually going to do on the day - have a bouncer on the door?

No idea what you can do ........... but good luck grin.

mummymummymillionmillion Mon 10-Nov-14 08:06:41

He is 4 :-) Maybe I just drop the "As we are tight on Space, no confirmation, no entry. " but then I might end up with 80 people! Yikees!

26Point2Miles Mon 10-Nov-14 08:07:27

No entry? That bit sounds really off. It's a kids party!

Altinkum Mon 10-Nov-14 08:07:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flowery Mon 10-Nov-14 08:10:17

Good grief!

We invited 32 to DS2s party which was yesterday. By 5 days before, only half had responded. I sent in reminder slips to school, then a few more trickled in, including some the day before and on the day. We ended up with 26 children, including 2 who just turned up without having responded at all.

We hired a hall rather than having it at home. Our house isn't tiny but 30 4 year olds running round it would be hell on earth.

Walkacrossthesand Mon 10-Nov-14 08:10:31

A lesson learned from party throwing (for adults & children alike) is that some people are simpky hopeless at RSVPing - they just turn up anyway. Given that they ignore the 'please RSVP' on the invite, I wouldn't hold out much hope of them taking any notice of a followup note, so I wouldn't bother. You must have a big house, and be very brave to have 50 children coming in November!

flowery Mon 10-Nov-14 08:10:52

I can't imagine turning an excited child away at the door of a party because their parents are a bit rubbish.

Coconutty Mon 10-Nov-14 08:11:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YonicScrewdriver Mon 10-Nov-14 08:12:29

"If you have not done so already please can you confirm whether you will be attending xxx Party by Wednesday. We need to finalise the numbers. If we don't hear from you by then, I will assume you are not coming and pass on your invite to another child Please text or e-mail xxx on xxx"

At 4, I would expect many parents to stay - do you have room??!!

mummymummymillionmillion Mon 10-Nov-14 08:14:27

We have a converted barn that my dad hire's out. The barn is not massive and a bouncy castle needs to go in it so it will be tight on space. Iv'e made a mistake and cannot really deinvite people! woke up last night at 3pm worrying about it all. I am going to have to send something and if they all do turn up then at least I will be prepared.

DPotter Mon 10-Nov-14 08:15:03

I think you need to get a hall and pull in extra help - and fast !
I don't even know 50 children...............

mummymummymillionmillion Mon 10-Nov-14 08:15:59

Thanks Coconutty that sounds great.

DPotter Mon 10-Nov-14 08:16:21

sorry cross thread.

bridgetsmummy Mon 10-Nov-14 08:16:46

Are you crazy? 50kids???
You're off your head woman!
You will learn from this experience, most people don't RSVP kids parties unless it's a no! Most people IME just turn up

Cop yourself on next year and don't invite so many. A 4 year old can't possibly have 50 close friends not to mention the parents who will probably stay

mummymummymillionmillion Mon 10-Nov-14 08:17:41

YonicScrewdriver - that sounds good too, not sure which is the best one to go for?

Coconutty Mon 10-Nov-14 08:17:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anotherdayanothersquabble Mon 10-Nov-14 08:22:31

Don't say 'we are tight on space' or 'no reply, no entry'. You invited these people, don't make them feel unwelcome, at the age of 4, you don't know which of these people are going to become close friends in the future. But you could send a 'Wanting to finalise numbers, could you let me know if you are coming' note.

mummymummymillionmillion Mon 10-Nov-14 08:25:41

I will let you know how it goes, thanks to all that have responded. We had a nasty experience last year where I was wendied and my 5 close friends ostrazised me because I was told that my baby may have a disability, so from then on I have made more effort socially. DS has about 38 friends we meet up with each week in groups or one on one, yes my house is messy as I socialise to much. Kind of helped me and DS get over the pain of loosing my other set of friends so I wanted this party to be extra special, but it is turning into a bit of a nightmare!

mameulah Mon 10-Nov-14 08:27:25

Don't write that message, people will be talking about it for years. I would plan for the maximum and just get through it. If it is in your house pray for good weather and let them run around. Turn it into a giant play date so there is no pressure to provide organised games. Except a couple of easily run big games like 'corners' or 'musical statues. Buy heaps of food you know your family will eventually eat anyway, frozen things , sausage rolls, vegetable spring rolls, pre cut carrot sticks that you can bung in the freezer and make soup with , eventually (whenever you get your energy back!) grin instead of fun size sweets hand out tins of sweetie, I think they are on offer 2 for £7 at Morrisons just now, then you can re gift them at Christmas for the rest of your life! If you haven't already specified an end time then just start obviously tidying up after two hours. For the party bag have a lucky dip type thing. 80 bits of crap in one bag, 80 fun size sweeties in another and 80 balloons.

Make sure anything you care about is hidden before the party starts. Have carpet cleaner on stand by. Make it clear to your kids what rooms are out of bounds before anyone gets there. Stick a smile on your face when the first guest gets there, don't complain about any of the children's behaviour or make comment on it.

Don't apologise about the size of the party to any of the parents, be happy and jolly at all times. Make sure there is wine in the fridge for when they have all gone home .

Good luck!

mummymummymillionmillion Mon 10-Nov-14 08:31:05

Thanks for the advice so do you think I should just not bother sending a message and plan for the maximum. I don't want to upset anyone. I might casually ask the Mums at pick up today rather than a note?

LocalEditorWiganandSalford Mon 10-Nov-14 08:34:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mameulah Mon 10-Nov-14 08:48:36

I am a teacher and have worked a lot with children aged 4. DO NOT write that note. Very sorry to hear you were wendied, totally understand why you have organised such a big gathering now. Do you have a partner around to help you get through this? The guests adults will feed off the vibe you give. Be delighted about everything!!! If you don't have a partner get a close friend to be there on your side so you feel more confident with your back up. If you have an enclosed outside space and you do end up with loads of kids then let them run around, unless there is torrential rain. A happy, jolly 'but they were having such a good time' to any adult that makes a disapproving comment. Or 'I did suggest they come in but they were too excited to notice!' (In that happy jolly way) And you can have suggested it in such a casual way that the kids don't feel obligated to listen.

Be strict about numbers on the Bouncy Castle. And have an adult there supervising the queue. Keep the queue occupied by having sweeties to dish out, or loads of grapes or something. People love bitching about an unsafe bouncy castle.

Don't blow up the party bag balloons.

You don't sound like money is an issue but your son is going to get millions of presents. If possible hide the ones that are duplicates or not his thing and regift them.

Nominate a friend you trust to take a register of who actually turns up so you know who to send thank you notes to. And make sure you do send thank you notes promptly. A generic one with a photo of your child on it would be perfect. You could even make it up now and download the photo after the party .

Strictly no bitching to anyone about the RSVP thing. And don't blow up the balloons for the party bags. Use over sized gift bags for the lucky dip. And don't allow the kids to hover for ages over what they are going to pick. Call it the three second dipper or something, '3, 2, 1! Pick!!! Hurray!!! Next !!!' With that smiley jolly face!!!

It will be great! Your son will live it!

mameulah Mon 10-Nov-14 08:51:33

Love it, not live.

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