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Is it all my fault?

(5 Posts)
Vodkajellies Sat 08-Nov-14 23:13:22

I posted a reverse thread a few weeks ago asking about wether or not I was right to keep dcs away from their dad (I know it's not right) there's a lot of history.

I broke up with exdp just over a year ago as he was cheating on me with God knows how many women after I found out he left and is now living with one of the women he was cheating with this was its been extremely hard for me to forgive him for leaving in the way he did not only that but he treated me as though I was the one who done it to him.
Anyway he has never been the greatest of dads and has never really supported me emotionally or financially choosing to go out partying buy new clothes and generally living the high life leaving me to do everything.

two months ago ds was in hospital with a serious eye infection doctors thought he may lose his sight and affect his brain I had been up the hospital for 36 hours without any sleep when he came up in the evening I left to take dts2 home and clean myself up eat and get a few hours sleep before going back up there I had only been gone two hours when he stated txting me that basically a bitch for leaving him to look after him and that if I didn't get back soon he would leave ds on his own so I told him to fuck off and leave us all Alone as I have had enough of doing everything on my own.

We haven't spoke to each other and he hadn't seen dcs since until today I went to his mums to visit her I didn't want to be there as he lives there with other woman and it was very uncomfortable just being there we sat down and try to have a conversation about everything and all he does is blame me saying I'm bitter and should get over him cheating leaving me which is the reason he doesn't have a good relationship with dcs because I don't want him around me as it hurts to much I do want him to be in the dcs life as they adore him.

He's trying to turn everything into me and still not taking any responsibility for his own actions so I've left in floods of tears as I really cannot take anymore and he's gone out with his friends where do I go from here?

Sorry it's long just need to get it all out.

justmuddlingalong Sat 08-Nov-14 23:24:52

Could his mum come to see the kids at your house? Then you won't have to see or talk to your ex.

Vodkajellies Sat 08-Nov-14 23:28:10

She can but tbh honest never really has done I have always taken dcs down there I don't mind doing it as they love being at their nannys house.

Drumdrum60 Sat 08-Nov-14 23:31:18

IMO who dh is with now should not be a reason to stop him seeing dcs. I'm sure they still want to see him. Some of my friends did this despite my warnings and soon their xps drifted away altogether hurting the dcs even more.

There will come a day when you will want xps to have kids as you have moved on or new relationship. Believe me. Do the right thing and you'll feel better. I know it hurts now but will payoff later.

Vodkajellies Sat 08-Nov-14 23:40:44

I'd never stop access because of him having a relationship I honestly stopped it because he is never around the only time he saw them in recent months was when I took them to his mums house.
He lives twenty mins away from us and I have always told him that he is welcome to come here to see dcs or take them out whenever he wants he doesn't take advantage of this ever making all kinds of excuses ie its to hot to sit on a train or its raining or cold no money for bus/train

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