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If this is the right place to ask about wtd about friend then...help!

(3 Posts)
TwoIfBySea Sat 08-Nov-14 00:52:47

Okay, first time I've been on here for well over a year but this has had me twisting and turning in the wind for too long and advice on here has always been welcomed...

So, I have a friend, a good friend or so I thought, met through work and even after I'd left we'd still chat at least once a week and meet up. Then, just after my mum died in March of this year, it suddenly stopped. I would initiate contact only to be fobbed off with a "we must catch up". I've now not spoken to her or contacted her in a couple of months.

Now I'm prepared to let the friendship die off, I had thought her better than to do this, I see her like FB posts from mutual friends although she isn't a big FB user, but I want to know why. A horrible feeling is that it might have something to do with being on opposite sides of the indyref, yet I have friends on both sides, some of who were very fervent in their beliefs against mine and we have not let it get to us.

I am swithering on whether or not to send an email, not challenging or arguing but simply asking why and saying 'bye. Should I?

In the past I wouldn't have bothered but since getting ME a few years ago I have become a bit reclusive and I know it's not good. Last year she was diagnosed as having celiac (sp?) disease and we had been kind of supporting each other and taking our minds off it. I had also done a lot of free work editing her website content and it does tick me off that if I ever needed references I couldn't ask her although that's not why I did it I'm thinking of it now for sure.

Thanks in advance, especially for wading through this wordy post.

Notmeagain1 Sat 08-Nov-14 00:59:05

I personally would want to know why, but other may say let it go. If you do decide to ask her why and try to get some closure, be prepared to be hurt by whatever it may have been that made her mad.

It appears the friendship is over and you have to decide if you want to open yourself up to be hurtful/hateful comments that might/probably spew from her,

Good luckflowers

EverythingIsChanging Sat 08-Nov-14 09:46:40

I don't think it's coincidence that the contact changed after ur mum died. Many can't deal with that kind of thing but she won't tell you that. Sadly I think you have to move on and make other friends, I can't see any benefit in asking her why. If you feel a need to make contact then I would just send her a brief message to say you haven't seen her in ages, miss her company, and invite her for a coffee. If she ducks out of it then you know it's not worth pursuing.

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