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Unfriended on social network - What's the etiquette for socialising in real life?

(12 Posts)
Siarie Fri 07-Nov-14 13:19:54

Just something that crossed my mind today, I had someone who I know reasonably well unfriend me. I spend a lot of time with their family members and am much closer with them. But its very likely that I'll be face to face with the person who unfriended soon enough.

So what's the right thing to do? Do social network friendships mean anything in real life? Should you mention it when your next sat in the same room with the person?

MicrochipsAndMemories Fri 07-Nov-14 13:22:41

Say hi and get over it?

CleanLinesSharpEdges Fri 07-Nov-14 13:24:55

Absolutely just behave toward them as you would if you were still FB buddies.

Fartblartfast Fri 07-Nov-14 13:29:09

I have had to name change for this as 'they' might be on here...

if it's a good friend, give them a call/text and say 'hey, whattsup? have I upset you' - when this happened to me I explained it was ok if they didn't want to be facebook friends but it was really important that we were actual real life friends. To be honest the FB thing did upset me but rationally it was far more important to me that in real life we were still mates. We are now both real life and FB friends again smile

If it's someone you are not too bothered about, or who has form for this kind of thing then Just smile and Wave.
This happened to me with a family member. Do not mention it to them. Put on your best smile when you see them, greet them pleasantly and act like nothing happened.

When this happened to me with a family member I waited a few hours and then I messaged them saying that I hoped I hadn't upset them and that I wold never want to unfriend family on FB. I sent a friend request along with the message. Then when they responded negatively I thought to myself 'ok then', withdrew the friend request and life is much calmer.

We did however have to meet up not long after so I did the whole smile and wave thing.

Ultimately it is 'Just facebook' and you will know how much of this is a spur of the moment fit of pique or if there's history behind it so trust your instinct.

I will just say life is a lot calmer without the constant drama of people who use Social networks to be passive aggressive and meddling.

NB - it sounds like they have just quietly unfriended you and you've only just noticed?

Siarie Fri 07-Nov-14 13:29:38

Haha Micro yes, well that's certainly one way and a very good one. I thought it was an interesting question as when you bother someone in real life you usually have a few more pointers as to why.

I've certainly unfriended people that I don't know well anymore but I've not had anyone unfriend me who I actually know well and am likely to socialise with often, hence why I wondered what the appropriate reaction is.

DuelingFanjo Fri 07-Nov-14 13:32:50

Are you sure they have unfriended you - could it be they have taken a break and deregistered?

Siarie Fri 07-Nov-14 13:43:20

Yeah, I clicked on their profile and it has "add friend" and all the information is gone.

It's happened really recently as I was only on the profile a day or so ago, as they've just had a big event in their life so lots of pictures on my feed.

I shall just have to act like I haven't noticed, I don't mind if they don't want to be friends on the website but if it's going to cross over into real life then I would want to know what I've done.

I'll go in assuming that won't be the case though, I just think this must happen all the time!

saintsandpoets Fri 07-Nov-14 13:50:45

Avoid the subject completely and act normal.

Benedictinemonk Fri 07-Nov-14 13:52:42

Just ignore it and carry on. I have some friends who I am not FB friends with, despite them having a FB account. I tend to be rude and smutty with some of my postings on FB, and my friends on there are accepting of this. My other friends are a bit more 'prim and proper', 'god botherers', and I modify my language/behaviour in their presence out of courtesy. They wouldn't be amused by what I put on FB smile


I have deleted alot of ppl even from church lately. I think if people cannot be bothered with me on a sunday and walk past me why be on my fb page. Christians or not i think in the end its about who makes an effort for me outside of social media.

SolidGoldBrass Fri 07-Nov-14 18:25:30

It might be worth having a think about how you use Facebook. Some people who are lovely in RL are maddening on social media, whether it's millions of game requests, endless sharing of Britain First (they're not racist, just unthinkingly sentimental and therefore inclined to 'like' Share This If You Respect War Veterans' stuff) or other fuckwittery like 'Say what colour pants you're wearing for brain cancer'. If you do a lot of that sort of thing, your friend might just have decided to remove you rather than squabble with you about it.

Selinasupreme Fri 07-Nov-14 19:48:40

I closed my old Facebook page and created a new one for work reasons a couple of days ago and have had a few people text and message me quite angry things for "deleting" them when the reality was I hadn't got round to adding them on the new page, it all seemed a bit petty and I was shocked that people I barely had any contact with cared that my page had gone which was very Unsettling. The internet is a Bizzare place, some people do use it for passive aggressive digs and sly posts, the best advice is what everyone else has said, smile and wave, it will either wind them up or make them feel guilty

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