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Don't know we're to start really!

(8 Posts)
Mmolly2013 Fri 07-Nov-14 12:31:53

I've posted many times about issues with my partners family (mil & SIL). We have been together 9 years and have a little boy who is 3 months old. There's a thread on Aibu stating some of the terrible things mil has done to me over he years. My DP still involves his family on a small basis in regards to our life and he states 'it's the only family he has', even thought they treat him like shit.

Naturally when my child was born I didn't really want him near that family as they are toxic, but had to for dp sake, they still act the same way and I can't stand it, it's driving me insane. Because of this we are closer to my family as my parent looks after our son and that parent is the sole person we trust.

Last night I mention to dp that my brother wanted to visit tomorrow afternoon and as it was around the same time he comes home from work and also is on the same route, I asked could he pick my brother up as he doesn't drive yet. He said no chance, I reminded dp that he is using my car at the moment as I don't need it that much as I'm on maternity leave. He still said no then it turned into 'well if my family can't come up then he is not allowed up', currently they come up to our house around once a week.

His family are forever causing issues between us because I can't just let them near my baby without me there and the threat of this makes me so upset. I really do hate them. Now he says my parent is banned from babysitting and my family aren't allowed up here anymore. I feel so isolated as it is he's ruining my maternity leave and time with my baby because of his family's fucking issues.

I do love him and he is generally a fantastic supportive partner but his family are just a source of anger and I don't know we're to go from here

Quitelikely Fri 07-Nov-14 12:36:19

What is it they are doing to upset you? Why are they a risk to your newborn?

Mmolly2013 Fri 07-Nov-14 12:39:03

If you search for a thread 'Aibu to write pages about my mil'. You will se a brief view of the issues because I really could go on forever, they aren't a risk but I don't trust them as they have such a hate for me and my partner is the black sheep so I don't trust they will treat my child well

Quitelikely Fri 07-Nov-14 12:43:30

Ok without searching for that thread I personally think that children should be kept desperate from situations like this if the gp pose no threats. My mil does not like me but I am happy for her to see the children. Why? Because she has done nothing to harm them and whatever is between me and her ends there. Similarly I think my marriage would be under serious threat if I banned her from the dc.

Going to read your other thread now........

Quitelikely Fri 07-Nov-14 12:44:14

Separate not desperate!

Mmolly2013 Fri 07-Nov-14 12:49:35

Oh right I understand what your saying but it is just so hard for me to let go when the SIL had her daughter they didn't even tell me the child was born and I wasn't allowed near her until she was 6 weeks old as they had fell out with me again for nothing. Btw I'm 25. His family should be older and wiser but instead they insisted on picking on me from I was 16. Yet when I had my child they got to see him the next day even though I didn't want to because of my partner, just to add they had stopped talking to us 2 months before I gave birth so we hadn't even spoke at all and I still let them in

Mmolly2013 Fri 07-Nov-14 12:51:09

When we told them I was pregnant mil was unhappy and clearly showed this them made it all about her. She was annoyed that we had not told her sooner, we actually told her when I was 9 weeks again I only told her because of dp. And this time also she hadn't spoken to me for around a year after a big fall out because of yet again stuff she said

Mmolly2013 Fri 07-Nov-14 12:55:44

I do want to be the bigger person but it's so hard

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