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Head of the household? really?

(84 Posts)
youcannotbeseriouslady Fri 07-Nov-14 12:00:16

Ladies, I have a question for you. Do any of you follow the biblical way of marriage in that the husband is always the head of the family and therefore makes all the decisions. I think the interpretation is that it doesn't mean he doesn't consult the wife but certainly he is the Head and the Wife his number two. This does in effect curtail the role of the wife in decision making since if there is ever a disagreement then the husband has more sway. Does anyone follow this line of thinking and apply it to their marriage on a daily basis? Does it result in a happier marriage or lead to resentment, since what if the 'leader' makes an awful decision?

YouAreMyRain Fri 07-Nov-14 12:01:38

You lost me at "ladies"

HowsTheSerenity Fri 07-Nov-14 12:02:51

Headship? As in fundamentalist Duggar/Candace Cameron style?

Comito Fri 07-Nov-14 12:03:11


loudarts Fri 07-Nov-14 12:03:30

Depends on the decision in question. I tend to make the decisions for the dc and general household stuff. Dh makes more big decisions, as in what car to buy etc. It works for us

HowsTheSerenity Fri 07-Nov-14 12:03:47

If you go to the Free Jinger forum you can read allllll about it.

There's a head in my household, and it's me!

I generally make decisions about decoration, how money is spent, where we're going etc etc.

But DP is happy with it as he's easy-going and I'm a bit of a control freak so both of us are happy.

I do consult him on the big stuff but it's mainly met with an 'ok whatever'.

TheSpottedZebra Fri 07-Nov-14 12:06:08

Do you do this, OP?
What are your thoughts on it?

BiancaDelRio Fri 07-Nov-14 12:06:15

Ah the submissive wife thing again.

There was a thread about it a few years ago stared by a submissive wife. She came across like a complete and utter loon.

Which makes sense I suppose.

To answer your question, no I do not defer to my partner as the head of the household. We are partners and as such make all important decisions together.

PeppermintPasty Fri 07-Nov-14 12:07:57

Well, I have no husband, but I do have two dc, who I suppose are strictly bastard offspring.
If I ever make an awful decision, I drink wine and it soon sorts itself out.

LineRunner Fri 07-Nov-14 12:08:35


happybubblebrain Fri 07-Nov-14 12:11:40

Was this post started in 1953?

Sprink Fri 07-Nov-14 12:13:03

It's an unequivocal no in this household, OP. We do not follow the biblical way of marriage as you described it.

For those questioning the use of Ladies, what would you prefer? grin

TeWiSavesTheDay Fri 07-Nov-14 12:13:10

Beware submissive wives.

At best it is kink under the cover of religion (not great to be so uncomfortable and in denial about your feelings you want to do this)
at worst it is pure abuse.

JustAShopGirl Fri 07-Nov-14 12:13:50

not related to OP but * ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets* your username just made me snort.... that is a good one...

AllThatGlistens Fri 07-Nov-14 12:13:52

Oh dear.

I would type a comprehensive, reasoned, logical reply, but.. Nah, I'll just wait for everyone else to pile right on in grin

BirdhouseInYourSoul Fri 07-Nov-14 12:14:28

In this house Bob is certainly the head of the household which does hold up to dominant male stereotypes I guess. He has a louder say over things like bed time and meal times and is fairly vocal if I've done something to displease him (which is quite often some days)

Although ultimately I make the most important decision because I'm the one picking what cat food to actually buy and that's all that matters really...

CuriousOranj Fri 07-Nov-14 12:15:19

Peppermint grin

Castlemilk Fri 07-Nov-14 12:16:51

No OP, because that would make us both complete fruitloops.

It's life, and partnership, not Land of the Weirdos.

youcannotbeseriouslady Fri 07-Nov-14 12:16:54

Hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my sentiments exactly ladies. 1953 yes. Oh my word. No im not a submissive wife. I was just curious about your thinking. Loon? hysterical. No, its just I cant get my head around someone being the HEAD in a marriage. It negates the whole concept of marriage in my humble opinion. It allows for egos and power over another which cannot be right. Couple that with poor decision making, infidelity and what do you have. A total doormat. BUT saying that, that doesnt mean that the relationship cant work for some and its a choice people make. Just not for me. I think naturally certain decisions fall into the hands of one of the partner by its very nature ie. shall we have cornflakes or rice crispies this week???

Preciousbane Fri 07-Nov-14 12:19:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whattheseithakasmean Fri 07-Nov-14 12:20:16

I think everyone knows who boss is in our house - the cat.

Seriously, DH & I are a team, we play to each others strengths & are mutually dependent. No other sort of relationship would be good enough for either of us.

LineRunner Fri 07-Nov-14 12:22:06

Ah yes, the Cornflake Conundrum. confused

LineRunner Fri 07-Nov-14 12:23:42

'Darling, shall we eat cornflakes or rice crispies this week?'

'Tell you what, why don't you eat what you want, and I'll eat what I want.'

BiancaDelRio Fri 07-Nov-14 12:26:29

Actually you have a point there OP.

DP often gets home from work to find me standing catatonic in front of the washing machine completely unable to choose between Comfort and Lenor sad .


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