Lundy's book: is it useful for someone already out of the relationship?

[NameMeaName]

I have a friend who has had the misfortune to marry a despicable man. I believe he is EA, drinks too much and is on occasion violent (punching walls kind of stuff).

She has already started divorce proceedings but, for complex reasons, they still have to live together for a while. Would it be useful if I got her the "Why does he do that?" book to help her in dealing with him or would it not be worth it given that the relationship is dead already? I.e. is written mainly to help people see that they need to get out of a relationship or would it also help for instance when dealing with an ex, or, in this case STBX?

[dadwood]

Lundy has another book:

"Should I Stay or Should I Go" Which is about evaluating whether a relationship is worth trying to save. I believe this book also covers how you go about leaving when it isn't going to work. this aspect might be useful to your friend.

[cestlavielife]

yes she could dip into lundy but also get this one -
www.amazon.co.uk/Its-My-Life-Now-Relationship/dp/0415953251?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Since its publication in 2000, It's My Life Now has been highly successful as a working manual for survivors who are starting their lives over after an abusive relationship. This valuable book combines direction on practical and emotional issues with worksheets and self-exploration exercises. Now, in the second edition, Dugan and Hock include updated information and resources while encompassing a wider range of individuals and the relationships in which abuse and violence occur. The new edition also provides a new emphasis on safety assessment, which has increasingly been shown to be a critical factor in recovery. In addition, this new edition includes current resources and information about organizations for victims along with revised and enhanced strategies to help survivors move forward on the path of recovery.

[NameMeaName]

Thank you both very much, I will have a look at the other books suggested as well to see which one I think would be most useful.