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How to find direction following divorce?

(2 Posts)
Serenitysmooth Thu 06-Nov-14 10:05:38

Ok, so actually I've been divorced 2 years but split in 2009 after 13 yrs together. 1 ds age 7. Had 3.5 yr "relationship" with unplanned pregnancy/ miscarriage. Turned quite abusive and exp overpowering/ obsessive and issues of his own. I've ended relationship and no contact for 2.5 weeks now. I feel traumatised by a lot of what's happened and have simply 'blanked out' and been on autopilot. Saying that I've kept up with work, looking after house, ds no major crisis. Am on ads which are helping for anxiety.
I left uni when I was younger due to anxiety and didn't finish degree. Settled down, got married. Have still managed to get graduate jobs.
I feel stuck and trapped. How do I find direction? I'm not in a job I want to do and am just becoming complacent.. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore? I felt so strong during divorce and could see a 'way out' .. I'm still in marital home, same job. Exh has bought a house with another woman, moved on.. I miss ex p even though I know it wasn't a good relationship. Where do I begin? I feel all my spare time is taken up just to 'survive'.. Anyone been here? How did you get 'out'?

GoatsDoRoam Thu 06-Nov-14 10:20:12

You sound like you're doing great: graduate job despite lack of degree, extricating yourself from bad relationships, being a mum to your DS, seeking treatment for your anxiety... Give yourself kudos! You deserve them.

Now for finding some new direction.

Any coaches at your job?
Spare cash for a life coach?
Time to go through a cheap life-coaching tool like this one on your own?

You already know that you're looking for a more fulfilling use of your time, so you will begin to notice opportunities. But do use a coach or book in the meantime to see if you can clarify the broad lines of what you're looking for.

Good luck!

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