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Anyone else enjoy their own company and not feel like socialising very often?

(62 Posts)
delicialicious Thu 06-Nov-14 09:27:59

Does anyone else feel the same way? I have friends, quite a wide circle really, and I do socialise, but I just can't seem to get excited about meeting up with friends in the way that some people do. I enjoy a cuppa and a catch up, but I'm always happy to get home afterwards and to have some time at home on my own.

I've never really been one for socialising a huge amount at the school gates, and I've just passed a group of other mums on my way home having a good old gossip. I spoke to them briefly but although I could have stayed and chatted couldn't wait to get home to a bit of quiet and me time.

I just wondered if others feel the same way as I do, really.

VodkaJelly Thu 06-Nov-14 09:30:10

Yes I am the same, and the older I am getting the worse it is. I just done have the energy.

iamjustlurking Thu 06-Nov-14 10:20:00

Yes as above, I have a wide group of friends but can't be bothered I much prefer being at home on my own if necessary and have definitely got worse as I get older and I'm only early 40's

Redistilled Thu 06-Nov-14 10:24:49

Me! Me!! Me too!!!

Definition of introvert smile
Its a fallacy that introverts don't enjoy social contact. We just don't recharge our batteries that way.
The older I get, the longer I spend recharging .... nothing wrong with that, at all grin

dadwood Thu 06-Nov-14 10:44:41

I like the idea of socialising, but find it actively stressful. I have sensory issues and also have some autistic traits. I can't tune into more than one person at a time. The funny thing is though, I have a lot of friends and I am quite a popular person (or so I believe)!
Over the past few years, I have found I am more self-contained and need to spend less time with my friends to offload all my worries and listen to theirs. As life has become more demanding with my disabled DC, I have become even more self contained through necessity. My wife is the often the only adult I speak to now.
I do like my local toddler group though!

stripedstick Thu 06-Nov-14 16:04:50

Yes, although I have a diagnosis of Aspergers which explains it a bit. I used to want to make friends but as an adult I've realised that was more about wanting to be seen to have friends and not be the person left out. Now I don't care so much about what others think of me and I'm happy to address my own needs, which doesn't really include socialising.

I do go out and do 'sociable' activities with DH like going to the cinema, but it's just the two of us and of course you don't talk during a film so there is not much socialising going on!

DarkHeart Thu 06-Nov-14 16:07:53

Me! People seem to struggle to understand that I don't find meeting up with others relaxing. I do socialise but much prefer to be at home alone and am early 30s so imagine it is only going to get worse.

MizLizLemon Thu 06-Nov-14 16:19:47

Me too, I enjoy my own company (somthing I put down to not having siblings at home when I was growing up) and really can't understand people who constantly need company.

There's a corner down the road from DDs school where people stop and chat in the mornings before going their separate ways. Sometimes I go past there on my way home then come back out half an hour later to go to town and there are still people standing chatting. All I can think is wouldn't you rather be at home with a cup of tea?

ceecee32 Thu 06-Nov-14 16:39:13

Me as well. I live alone and really enjoy slobbing in front of the telly when i get home from work.

I force myself out every now and again to Meet Up groups because I think I should make an effort and do generally enjoy myself when I do.

I know loads of people but dont really class any of them as friends so I don't have anyone to just go for a drink with or anything but if I did - I probably would prefer to stay in with my PJs on.

So we are not alone - there are loads of us all happy in our own ways

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 06-Nov-14 16:42:53

All introverts.

Including me.

LaQueenIsKickingThroughLeaves Thu 06-Nov-14 16:47:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ruddygreattiger Thu 06-Nov-14 16:49:07

Yep, same here. Have always much preferred my own company and my idea of bliss is either time all to myself to read, watch tv etc or just spending time with hubby and dd - add in other people and I do find it quite tedious! Think I am well on the road to being a grumpy old git as I get older. Someone above mentioned the school runs, so glad dd is old enough now that I can just quickly drop off/pick up and get away asap!

delicialicious Thu 06-Nov-14 16:54:20

Well I'm glad it's not just me!!

I have a friend on Facebook who seems to literally have to meet up with people or be out doing things for every waking hour; coffee at someone's house in the morning, lunch with someone else, soft play in the afternoon with someone else, out in the evening with a group of friends. She is always checking in at places and tagging different people. This sort of thing is my idea of hell these days! I can only face one meet up on any given day, certainly no more than that!

As a teen, I think my self esteem was very low, and so I felt as though I had to be out all the time with someone - anyone - and be having a 'good time'. I was desperate to be liked.

Over the years this carried on, and I've actually had my fingers burnt too many times by people that I got over-friendly with who then crapped on me from a great height.

Basically I think that my current mindset has evolved from a) confidence and self esteem growing and b) not wanting to have any nastiness or drama so keeping a distance from everyone these days.

TheHermitCrab Thu 06-Nov-14 16:55:46

delicialicious

I'm exactly the same, complete introvert, as is my other half. Don't get me wrong, I'm friendly... but feel the same way as you re: lack of excitement.

Lucky for me my OH is too. I'm 7months pregnant and the midwife started talking about classes and how we can meet other parents and bond...etc. We both looked at each other like "oh god... hell on toast"

If you like your own company, grand! lots of people don't and spend their lives desperately following others xx

dadwood Thu 06-Nov-14 16:56:25

Facebook eh!

Smilesandpiles Thu 06-Nov-14 16:57:48

Me!

I hate getting asked to go anywhere with anyone, because I always talk myself out of it but feel pushed to accept in the first place.

I, genuinly, can't be bothered and can think of a thousand things I'd rather be doing at home.

I'm a proper homebody.

dadwood Thu 06-Nov-14 16:58:16

Facebook seems to exist to make me feel inadequate. I don't participate in it any more, it's just an address book.

delicialicious Thu 06-Nov-14 17:01:15

I love Facebook, in that it makes it easy to keep in touch with friends that don't live locally, and online friends.

However I hate the 'arse licking' culture it has brought along with it!

dadwood Thu 06-Nov-14 17:03:28

YY

Smilesandpiles Thu 06-Nov-14 17:03:28

Nah,

Facebook just means you have people messaging you, as well as texting and calling, having a go at you because you didn't "like" some load of bollocks they posted a nano second before hand.

Riverland Thu 06-Nov-14 17:04:27

I find as I get older, seeing people is less enjoyable. People complain and moan more, and laugh less. We drink less, because we get hangovers more. We don't really dance! It's all a bit more mundane. Sometimes I even find it draining, particularly when people moan the same old moans about their husbands.

delicialicious Thu 06-Nov-14 17:05:24

I quite like FB chat as it means I can chat with people without having to go to the hassle of actually meeting up. Plus if I've had enough of conversing I can just ignore the message and reply at a later time. Much easier than having a conversation in the flesh! grin

delicialicious Thu 06-Nov-14 17:06:27

Yes, I get fed up with all the moans too! I have one friend that I really have to keep at a distance now because all she does is bloody moan, and never has anything upbeat or remotely interesting to say.

delicialicious Thu 06-Nov-14 17:08:28

It's the hard work that goes along with meeting up with friends that puts me off, too.

I went for lunch with a friend a few weeks ago; we were going to meet at the pub, but then her car went into the garage so I had to pick her up, then she asked me to pick her up from another friend's house, then she was 15 minutes coming out of the house when I arrived. I had to text and call her to let her know I was there.

It's all just too much like hard work....

Smilesandpiles Thu 06-Nov-14 17:12:59

Er, that friend was was hard work because she was taking the piss.

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