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It's my wedding night. I'm all alone.

(480 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

IsThisReallyHappening Tue 04-Nov-14 21:03:52

Today I got married.

This afternoon we arrived at our hotel to stay the night.

On arrival I checked my facebook to see some congratulation messages.

One message was not quite what I was expecting.

My 'husband' cheated on me 8 weeks ago.

I'm now sat here alone. On my wedding night. My 'husband' is gone.

I'm pregnant too.

I already have a child with him.

What the actual fuck has just happened to my life?

I feel trapped.

Quitelikely Tue 04-Nov-14 21:05:22

I'm so sorry. Do you know it's for real? What had been going on? Have you told anyone else in RL for support?

patronisingbitchinthewardrobe Tue 04-Nov-14 21:06:26

I'm in a state of shock just reading it.
Is there anyone in rl who can be with you?
I wouldn't worry about the 'trapped' feeling. It will pass.

1lov3comp5 Tue 04-Nov-14 21:07:05

Who is the message from? Did you confront your DH?
flowers not sure what to say to make you feel better sad

WitchWay Tue 04-Nov-14 21:07:59

sad I feel so sorry for you

ZanyMobster Tue 04-Nov-14 21:08:05

So sorry to hear this, you really need to call someone to be with you if possible. Did he admit to it?

saintsandpoets Tue 04-Nov-14 21:08:34

I have no words for you OP, other than that I am truly, truly sorry. If you want to talk about it, we will listen.

Do you have any real life support?

thanks

IsThisReallyHappening Tue 04-Nov-14 21:08:34

Yes, it's for real. He admitted it (after lying further).

I made him ring his mum and give her the news that I'm pregnant, and by the way, I cheated on my wife to be 8 weeks ago.

His mum is pretty supportive - she is the only person I feel I could tell right now.

There is no way I could face telling anyone else.

My little one is with her at the moment.

All I want to do is go there and get him. But I can't. I'm trapped in a hotel, unable to check out when they know we arrived on our wedding night a few hours ago. I'm covered in mascara and god knows what. I can't face the world, but don't want to be here!

How ironic.

TheLostPelvicFloorOfPoosh Tue 04-Nov-14 21:08:54

sad

Where did he go - did you confront him with it?

WitchWay Tue 04-Nov-14 21:11:17

Was it the OW who sent the message? - her timing sucks sad

tribpot Tue 04-Nov-14 21:11:59

Where is your chief bridesmaid/best woman? I have to say this falls within her job description.

Very sorry for you - can your MIL come and explain what's happened to the hotel people and get you out of there?

CaptainAnkles Tue 04-Nov-14 21:12:20

You don't need to worry what the hotel staff think of you, it's nothing to do with them and you'll most likely not see them again. Where is your H now?

FelicityGubbins Tue 04-Nov-14 21:12:31

sad just leave and go get your little one, who cares what the hotel staff think!

1lov3comp5 Tue 04-Nov-14 21:12:50

Have a hot bath and just concentrate on getting through the next couple of hours.
Have you any close friends that were at the wedding that could keep you company?

SundaeGirl Tue 04-Nov-14 21:13:03

Deep breath - tonight will end and tomorrow will come. Literally and metaphorically. Hang on in there.

Who can you call to come and join you? Where are the bridesmaids?

IsThisReallyHappening Tue 04-Nov-14 21:13:43

He slept with her, while I was in work, on a night shift. In my house! With my children upstairs!

A week after this he 'left me' - in retrospect I should have known what had been going on, but we've had rows where he has 'left' before (ie. he goes to his mums while we cool off, then we talk it over and work through it).

He came back a few days later of his own accord, the row we had seemingly resolved. He was still sleeping with her in these days in between.

He blackmailed her to not tell me by telling her I would stop him seeing his child.

He's a fucking giant prick, and I really hate his mere existence right now.

He's never given me any reason to doubt him. No hiding phone or any of that shit. He still did it - at the first opportunity.

And it wasn't lack of sex, he was getting plenty.

What the fuck do I even do right now???!

sliceofsoup Tue 04-Nov-14 21:13:49

Fucking hell.

So sorry OP.

Go wash your face, might make you feel a bit better.

WhizzFucker Tue 04-Nov-14 21:14:36

One thing which may be a relief. You're not trapped in your marriage.

It is possible to have it anulled - https://www.gov.uk/how-to-annul-marriage

custardismyhamster Tue 04-Nov-14 21:14:52

If you care about what hotel staff think (you shouldn't) tell them dc is ill and check out

IsThisReallyHappening Tue 04-Nov-14 21:15:44

It was just us and two witnesses.

No bridesmaids.

Thank fuck?

At least it wasn't a big wedding I guess.

My wedding dress is at the bottom of the bath. I got in it, after deciding fuck the dress, and fuck trying to get it off. The bath was a bath big enough for two.

It was quite nice getting in a bath fully clothed actually.

Theraputic.

IsThisReallyHappening Tue 04-Nov-14 21:17:08

The congratulations messages keep on rolling in.

I can't reply.

I can't face this.

I really can't tell the world what has happened. I don't want to live with this stigma.

I don't know how to get out of this in one piece with a shred of dignity.

ClashCityRocker Tue 04-Nov-14 21:18:59

Have you got anyone in real life you can call or go to for support

So sorry this has happened sad

tribpot Tue 04-Nov-14 21:19:36

It looks as if you could have the marriage annulled if you wanted to - from gov.uk:
- if you haven't had sex since the wedding
- if one of you has an STD (sadly you don't know if he does or doesn't).

So health matters will be first tomorrow - have you been booked in with the midwife? If yes, can you make an appointment to discuss screening with them? If no, can you go to the GP?

Looking back do you have reason to think he may have cheated during the other times he had gone back to his mum's?

Momagain1 Tue 04-Nov-14 21:19:37

Get it annulled and be glad you found out now. 8 weeks apgo/pre pregnancy would have been better, but at least you wont waste anymore of your life on him.

ClashCityRocker Tue 04-Nov-14 21:19:39

You have nothing to be ashamed of.

It's him who's the dirty cheating bastard.

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