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How does separation while living in the same house work? (NCA)

(2 Posts)
elfycat Tue 04-Nov-14 14:20:20

Hi. I have a thread over in AIBU where they have been very lovely. I'll link it in a minute.

Gist: 'D'H had arranged to meet someone he met through an internet dating site while away on a work course this week. He forgot to remove his email from the laptop I'm borrowing, so these messages flashed up in the corner...

He's done the 'woe is me' thing. He's tried to blame the state of our relationship. He's trying blackmail and ultimatums. He has no cards and he's still trying to play poker.

He'll be coming home on Thursday, back to this house (which is his right). Luckily we're on the second set of extension since we bought the property so we do have a little 'room'. It was a 4 bedroom house, and we have 2DDs, so we can all have a bedroom each. In addition we've just built a new living room AND the old one is still set up.

He thinks I don't pull my weight in the relationship. I can only imagine he's talking about sex because I have the kids FT for 3 weeks at a time, and then do 80% of the childcare and housework when he is home for 3 weeks. My friends were trying not to cry with laughter at his statement.

So how does this work? Laundry, childcare (I'm a FT SAHP at the moment, he works 3 weeks away at a time), shopping, cooking, TV sharing. I don't know where the lines need to be drawn, but I need lines as he's in denial that the relationship is extremely, virtually without doubt, not going to survive this. I don't even want it to.

Also money... I have a tiny income from investments. We decided I would be the SAHP to enable him to work away. I was intending to return to work, at least part time, next year when DD2 starts school. That was the plan... What options do I have about money now? I've let my professional registration lapse though I could with time and money get it back. What he he withdraws financial support this week?

elfycat Tue 04-Nov-14 14:21:29

I was NameChangeAnon on the other thread, but I'll come back to this now,

link to original thread.

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