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what do I do???

(12 Posts)
Stormystar Tue 04-Nov-14 11:03:34

Hi, been with my dh for 13 years, married for 5, and 3 great kids. Thing have been very up n down, but mostly ok. He has lied about few things in the past, so some of the trust is gone. Last few weeks been very happy, thing better than ever ( after having baby no 3) then I (shouldn't of snopped) had a look on his phone history..... Lots of porn site ( knew he watches it) and website for no strings sex meet up........I'm devastated. He said it links from porn site...... I told him I'm absolutely heartbroken, he said he's never searched for that, but it in browser....I'm not very technichal but I'm not stupid! He said I can't throw away what we have cos he hasn't done anything( except watch porn,witch he says will stop)..but I'm beyond devastated, can't think what to do...if anything, looked on bank statement, emails nothing out of the ordevery

Sorry.....just wanted to get it off my chest

GoatsDoRoam Tue 04-Nov-14 11:16:26

What has he lied about in the past?

Stormystar Tue 04-Nov-14 11:18:52

Went on a stag do, some pictures popped up on Facebook, the lads with a group of girls, he said they were just there, didn't even talk, next min there's a friend request from a girl in the pic..... I feel such a fool...

Granville72 Tue 04-Nov-14 11:20:57

Sounds like you could do with a bit of space to get your head clear and decide what / how you'd like things to proceed and what to do.

Do you believe what he is saying to you?

Jan45 Tue 04-Nov-14 11:26:06

This is becoming a common complaint, not sure what to advise, I'd been concerned on both counts tbh. Fact is you do not know what the hell he is doing online so complete honesty and a plan of action is required pronto, he will probably do what they all do and hide it better from now on.

Stormystar Tue 04-Nov-14 11:27:19

Just want everything back to how they were, but feel so hurt don't think I could....
don't know if I believe him, I want to so much, if he's not in work then he's at home, could it be possible that it a link from porn site do u think? I

Stormystar Tue 04-Nov-14 11:33:26

It is a very common complaint, I can't belive I was such a stupid fool to think everything was rosy. I have decided and accepeted that something did happen at the stag do (even tho to this day he says not) and have got over that (ish). This happened 6 yes ago btw. He says I can check his phone/ laptop/ipad any time I want bit they would all say that, and just hide it better.....
What a mess

Jan45 Tue 04-Nov-14 12:04:14

That's the problem nowadays, `he` doesn't need to leave the house to have all sorts of sordid activities online. Not saying he is partaking but it's not looking good.

Sorry but by now if there was any evidence, it will have vanished.

Trust is a very unappreciated word, once it goes, it's very hard to get it back.

theoriginalposter Tue 04-Nov-14 12:21:37

I was in an identical situation 3 and a half years ago. It killed the trust and respect. We are in the very early days of splitting up and his activities all that time ago are a massive contributing factor. The pop up excuse is lame IMO. It conveniently covers nearly all misdemeanours online... And totally agree about other evidence now vanishing - he'll just be more careful in future - sorry sad

King1982 Tue 04-Nov-14 13:21:47

There are a few threads in site stuff about MN users complaining about this website linking them to a porn/sex site. It can happen.
I also have friends that have over a thousand 'friends' on FB. They literally add everyone they meet. It could all be very innocent, equally it may not be.

Stormystar Tue 04-Nov-14 17:08:46

Thank you, feel better for sharing, got no one in rl really. Gping to have a good talk tonight... Talk about what I don't know, black n white to me....will see what he says
Thank you

cantpolishaturd Tue 04-Nov-14 17:30:52

I know that certain sites such as youporn do contain a hell of a lot of pop ups when browsing, which will open in a new tab on say an iphone even if it hasn't been searched for...hook up sites included

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