This is going to sound quite trivial to most of you but I've got myself into a right panic!
You may have seen a previous post I put on here about feeling anxious and scared about my relationship with my man who I have been with for about 9 months.. I resolved to deciding not to let on how insecure I was feeling because I think that once the balance is unset, you will always feel like the 'weaker one' in the relationship and you're automatically going to seem as the 'needy one'
Well, I completely messed up at the weekend! We were having such a great time together.. He had been constantly telling me how deeply in love he is with me and we even started planning a trip to the Madives in January.. Anyway, we had a heavy weekend with parties and drinking and not a lot of sleep and on Saturday night, we went to see a band and I realised that he was missing for about 15 minutes so I went outside to see if I could find him and he was on the phone to his ex girlfriend, who he is still good friends with and lives near to him..
I don't know what came over me but I started saying I felt second best to her, and started questioning him on the circumstances of their break up and doubting his feelings for me. At first he attempted to reassure me saying he loves me, not her etc but I must have kept on about it and I really annoyed him as he said he 'doesn't need this shit' and that he doesn't have to justify his friendship with his ex as they have known each other for over 20 years.
I apologised this morning and said it was a mixture of too much alcohol, not enough sleep and pmt that caused my little outburst and I said that I didn't really think that way and I was unfair on him about it. He said he is concerned I feel that way and that I must feel it as I wouldn't have said it at all if I didnt!
Now, I'm really worried I've damaged our relationship. I've said it, and I can't unsay it.. We spent the day together but there was a tense atmosphere and I really don't know how I can reset the balance and get things back to how they were..
I know this sounds so trivial compared to other people's issues I've read about in here so for that I apologise.. It's just really worrying me.. I fear I've messed things up big style
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Relationships
Wish I could undo things I said!
excitedbutscared · 02/11/2014 22:34
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