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(25 Posts)
TalkingToYou Sun 02-Nov-14 22:26:35

My partner is using Tinder. He used to be on Ashley Madison. I am heartbroken. I don't know if I should leave him (we have two young daughters) or try to talk to him or simply find some kind of revenge strategy.

I feel numb.

26Point2Miles Sun 02-Nov-14 22:32:41

Did you confront him last time?

generaltilney Sun 02-Nov-14 22:34:30

I would try to talk to him but I have no idea what you could possibly say, other than 'Your infidelity has broken my heart'.

Drumdrum60 Sun 02-Nov-14 22:44:12


TalkingToYou Mon 03-Nov-14 00:44:45

I have tried to talk to him. I use the word try because I feel he is not listening to me.

TalkingToYou Mon 03-Nov-14 00:46:06

I have tired to talk to him. I use the word try because I feel he is not listening to me.

TalkingToYou Mon 03-Nov-14 00:49:05

Yes, his behaviour has broken my heart. And I believe he is aware of it. I somehow feel that he does not care. I sometimes wonder if it would be better to be a single mother with two young daughters (at the moment I don't even work) or just carry on and tolerate his behaviour. He does pay the bills.

DirtyOldTown Mon 03-Nov-14 01:06:54

Revenge strategies are for movies, not for real life adults with children. So you asked him why he is on Tinder and he has said.....?

Ihatechoosingausername Mon 03-Nov-14 01:10:23

Make a profile on a dating site claiming that you're looking for a new fella because your current one is shit in bed and 'accidentally' let him find it?

What an evil c*nt! >.<

Scarletohello Mon 03-Nov-14 01:21:49

It doesn't sound like you will ever be happy with him as he is actively looking to meet other women on the internet. His internet is clear. The question is can you live with it/ him because he 'pays the bills ' or will you find the strength to walk away fro this disrespectful man and claim your own power ?

I don't underestimate how hard this must be for you but the evidence is there in black and white. thanks to you OP X

Scarletohello Mon 03-Nov-14 01:22:39

• intent not internet, sorry

Riverland Mon 03-Nov-14 01:33:17

You feel numb, OP. Have you got someone close to you in real life you can talk to?

Paying the bills isn't enough.

DirtyOldTown Mon 03-Nov-14 01:33:37

Always best to hold the high moral ground, wouldn't you think, choosing?

Ihatechoosingausername Mon 03-Nov-14 01:52:09


Ihatechoosingausername Mon 03-Nov-14 01:56:37

OP held the high moral ground the first time and he just did it again to her

TalkingToYou Mon 03-Nov-14 04:43:29

He did not reply.

TalkingToYou Mon 03-Nov-14 04:45:23

I am thinking about my daughters. How can I explain my behaviour (I am depressed to put it mildly) to them and particularly his behaviour?

TalkingToYou Mon 03-Nov-14 04:46:46

Yes...something like that has been in my mind. But then I think I would be like him.

TalkingToYou Mon 03-Nov-14 04:51:12

I feel like the biggest fool in this world. Sometimes I even hate to be a mum. And when I am looking at my daughters I sometimes think as if they are the root cause of my current situation. They are not.

I have no self respect any more.

TalkingToYou Mon 03-Nov-14 04:53:41

I am so embarrassed of my situation that I cannot even talk to anyone. I feel that my friends (the female ones) would not understand or they would blame me.

And I know I am blaming myself.

Scarletohello Mon 03-Nov-14 07:34:19

Why are you blaming yourself?

Ihatechoosingausername Mon 03-Nov-14 20:00:29

Yeah why are you blaming yourself? It's counterproductive :/

TalkingToYou Mon 03-Nov-14 23:16:28

I am blaming myself because I feel that I am the only person responsible for my life. And now I have two young daughters too. I am saying to myself that somehow this is happening to me. I certainly did not plan my life this way. The overwhelming feelings at the moment are sadness and hopelessness. Somehow I have chosen a partner who is indifferent. I wonder is it me who has changed or is it him. Or both of us.

Ihatechoosingausername Mon 03-Nov-14 23:24:54

What advice would you give your daughters if, say, in the future they're in a similar situation?

maleperspective70 Tue 04-Nov-14 08:23:39

I'm sorry OP that you find yourself in this position.

He wants his cake and to eat it too.
He doesn't deserve you or the family.
I would leave him and even if you took him back, could you really trust him again?

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