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motivation/ encouragement needed to quit drinking for November

(315 Posts)
Feckinlego Sat 01-Nov-14 20:21:46

Hi guys, would really love your help. For the past year I seem to have gotten myself into the bad habit of drinking 4-5 nights a week. I'm drinking 2-4 bottles of wine per week, far too much!
A bit of background, we'll I've 2 children age 1 and 7, and an amazing dh. I work part time, 2 nights per week. Me and dh work opposite shifts so dc don't need childminders. So I'm on my own a lot with the kids.
Reasons I give myself to dtink:
Stressful day with dc
Going on nights the following night
finishing nights for the week
weekend
big one- to avoid dtd with dh(sexdrive completely gone after last birth though was never great)
for the past few months I've been having periods every 2-3 weeks, with resulting horrific black moods, to the point I'm wondering if I'm actually depressed.
I'm functioning ok, house clean/dcs fed dressed played with etc. Dh doesn't think I have a problem but I do, so I thought I'd start with a month off to see how I get on.
any advice greatly appreciated. I'm off on to work but ill try post when I can xx

Venticoffeecup Sat 01-Nov-14 20:31:17

Out of interest, have you been to the GPs regarding your increased periods? Sounds like you might have some serious hormone issues there which might be effecting your mood.

The only suggestion I can give you in terms of quitting is consider taking up a craft hobby. Something like beading or cross stitch, so you have something simple and distracting to do with your hands when you would otherwise have been drinking. It will feel nice and productive too.

I wish you all the best.

Feckinlego Sat 01-Nov-14 21:13:06

Thank you, I'll definitely go to gp if the periods carry on. Thinking maybe the alcohol might have something to do with increasing frequency of them? I actually crochet so I'm looking forward to getting back into it. Appreciate your reply xx

Elvish Sat 01-Nov-14 21:23:09

I need to seriously cut down my drinking. Apparently if I don't loose weight and sort my diet I will get diabetes hmm

So if you want some support / company I'm up for it! brew

strongagain1985 Sat 01-Nov-14 21:33:04

Have you thought about why you drink, what the cause might be? Is it due to being board, is it to relax or is there another reason. What do you do in evenings or when you are at home, what is your daily routine? Congratulations on deciding to quit drinking. You will get there.

Feckinlego Sun 02-Nov-14 04:02:45

Hi elvish, some company will be lovely. How do u feel about cutting down? Thank you strongagain, yes you're right it's boredom/ reward for looking after the dc. There's always an excuse! I usually just watch TV in the evenings, but I associate certain programmes with drinking. Silly really. As I say, there's always an excuse.
If I can stop for a month I'm hoping I'll learn to do without it, and break the habit. If I can't well then ill know it's not something I can do without help . fingers crossed for me xx

Elvish Sun 02-Nov-14 13:03:49

I'm not feeling that motivated, I know what I have to do to loose some weight but I also know that it means cutting down on the things I like - booze and bad food!

But really I need to get my brain in the right place and do it. I'll feel a lot worse if I don't and I end up being really ill.

Like you I drink most nights because I can, because it's there, because I like it. I don't think I drink to get drunk and in fact I rarely do get drunk. I like a glass of wine and so does DH. But I also know I can do without it, DS is only 20 months old and I had a couple of glasses of wine in 9 months when I was pregnant. But even then I wasn't one of those people who didn't want to drink when they were pregnant, I missed it....

I'm thinking that every day/week I don't have a drink I could put some money in a jar, like people do when they are stopping smoking. A bottle of wine or a few beers a night must easily be £5 a night, more at weekend, £30 a week at least. That could pay for a holiday or a new settee.

Elvish Sun 02-Nov-14 13:06:03

But on a more positive note I didn't have a drink last night. We took the DCs to a bonfire and then I went to bed early, so one day down....

CatKisser Sun 02-Nov-14 13:20:00

Hi, OP, I'm cutting down at the moment too. 6-7 bottles a week has been my worst point. I've just started Slimming World now and while I've been down to 3-4 bottles a week lately, this isn't good enough. So I'm aiming to cut down to one NICE bottle on a Friday night as an incentive. I know it's not quitting totally but if you want some company I'm in.

CatKisser Sun 02-Nov-14 13:22:04

Elvish you're right about having to get your brain in the right place for it - it takes real motivation and every time I'm tried before I've thought "sod it" after a week or so, which makes you feel even crapper.

Awks Sun 02-Nov-14 13:23:11

I'm in too, I drink far too much and was just thinking about doing this this morning so great timing.

hamptoncourt Sun 02-Nov-14 13:38:10

I am in!!
I had already decided to have a "No drinking at home" November and I will probably only go out 2/3 times over the month.

I had a dry September which went really well but I fell back into it after my birthday blush

What helps me is buying some naice diet soft drinks like diet ginger beer and Fanta Zero icy lemon. I did lose loads of weight too - about 10lbs in a month.

I really like the idea of putting money away for a holiday too and will try that - I probably spend £70 a month on "home drinking" so I will be saving money and calories, and will wake up feeling fresher hopefully.

tribpot Sun 02-Nov-14 13:41:45

I think you've already identified some of the important stuff - triggers and certain times of the day. You need to be ready for those and watch out for the signals as unexpected things can suddenly trigger the wine gong to go off in your head.

If you have shows you associate with booze, I would avoid them this month. Or watch them at times of the day when you wouldn't drink, e.g. lunchtime or Saturday morning. Definitely keep your hands busy, that's essential - maybe set yourself a challenge of getting through something like the Coast blanket?

Make sure you've got something alternative to drink - possibly something not too sweet and like pop, i.e. herbal tea or ginger beer.

Think about how you'll manage your shop without strolling through the booze aisle, and about how you'd manage any social occasions that come up during November.

Keep in mind that you're drinking over double the recommended weekly amount, so your liver will be extremely thankful for a month off. God knows, lots of people drink more (I drank WAY more than that, but did become extremely ill as a result) but positive action now may mean you can develop a better relationship with alcohol in the future. If nothing else, it's worth seeing if helps with your periods, as that will be useful info for the GP if/when you do go to get some help with that.

thenamehaschanged Sun 02-Nov-14 13:54:35

Me too I am in Feckinlego, nice one! - I've been using gallons of wine as an emotional crutch for far too long now and need a new focus - I want to lose weight, get happy and healthy!

Feckinlego Sun 02-Nov-14 13:59:00

Great we have loads of company this month, we're gonna be rich!
Catkisser, that's usually how it goes for me too- I'm great for a certain period of time then the motivation wears off and the excuses start again.
Elvish, I was the same as you when pregnant I really missed it. I used to buy low alcohol wine, maybe 4% vol so I might try that again after November. Dh has struggled with his weight for years but for the past couple of months something has clicked with him and he's really changed all his habits and has lost 2 stone. Think it's just the right time for him.
I do drink to get drunk, always have. Suppose that's a confidence thing. Lately though I've started to feel rather pathetic sitting watching telly drunk, and the guilt the next morning sometimes has me in tears. If only I could make that guilt last all day!
Thanks all for the words of encouragement and advice.

Feckinlego Sun 02-Nov-14 14:01:22

Tribpot, I've been crocheting that blanket for about a year, I'm always putting it down to start something new. May just set myself that challenge to get it finished!

CatKisser Sun 02-Nov-14 14:03:55

Ohh, the guilt is awful, isn't it? sad When you wake up the next morning and think "just why??" Bu then, it wears off...
Can your husband support you through the month? What changes has he made that you could copy? 2 stone is a great amount to lose!

Feckinlego Sun 02-Nov-14 14:12:28

He's on board for this month. I've told him under no circumstances to go buy me wine at 8pm. At some stage ill be a total cow to him but he's promised not to take it to heart! He's fab, I don't deserve him.
How are u finding the cutting down catkisser? Has it been tough?

Bowlersarm Sun 02-Nov-14 14:14:33

I'm in too. I've been pretty good at moderating over the years, but the level has crept up recently. Day 1 for me today, and I'm aiming to get to Christmas Day without a drop touching my lips. Got absolutely tons of social things coming up and I want to remember them all clearly, not wake up feeling groggy and hungover, and as it's such a busy time of year I want to make sure everything gets done to the best of my ability with a clear head.

This thread is great timing for me, lego, thanks!

CatKisser Sun 02-Nov-14 14:17:42

Actually no. I mean, I haven't cut down as much as I ought - but 3 dry days out of 7 has been better than zero... It's crazy really as I wake up in the morning after no wine feeling so refreshed and healthy and full of energy.

I drink in the evenings to switch off after a long day. I get up at 5:15 and get into work at 6:30. Get home anywhere between 4:30 and 6pm. Wine is wonderful for switching your mind off from hyper, pinging state to calm buzz, if you know what I mean.

No more excuses though. I have set myself an ambitious Slimming World target of 5 stones over however long it takes, and for the first time I kind of feel it's not impossible.

Feckinlego Sun 02-Nov-14 14:18:33

Woo hoo another recruit! Why do u think your drinking has crept up bowlersarm? For me it just kinda happened without knowing. Best of luck to us all. I wouldn't be brave enough to stop for December though so fair play to u!

Feckinlego Sun 02-Nov-14 14:25:14

I know exactly what used mean, it signals 'me' time or something doesn't it. It might be a cop out but I'm hoping to prove its a habit that can be broken rather than a dependence on alcohol that needs serious work to get over.
I've never had a weight problem, have never really had to work hard at anything. That's my problem. Good on u for deciding to lose all that weight, it must feel like a big mountain to climb but I've seen dh get in the zone and its so inspirational to watch. Maybe that might happen for u?

Bowlersarm Sun 02-Nov-14 14:30:33

Well, I haven't completed December yet so we'll see. I'm hopeful though smile

Not quite sure why I'm drinking more at the moment. Mainly habit, I think. DH and I were always pretty good at no drinking mon-thurs and then sharing a couple of bottles over the weekend. The level has just crept up and up, and the last couple of weeks have been ridiculous. Partly I think it's down to the fact that DH used to be a very light drinker, but his drinking has stepped up over the years and it's very often him saying 'fancy a glass of wine?' on a Monday night (and a Tuesday night, and a Wednesday night etc etc), and I always do fancy a glass of course. I also drink more when I'm happy and content (possibly a bit bored too) and my life is bloody brilliant at the moment so celebrating a lot with wine. (Does that sound strange?)

Anyway, have told DH what I'm doing, and he's volunteered to stop drinking at home during the week, which'll help my willpower.

It'll help me too, to report in here. I dropped out of dry January, but did manage a dry March. I really enjoyed it. If you know you can't drink alcohol, you stop considering it so much, I found.

Good luck all.

CatKisser Sun 02-Nov-14 14:30:52

You always see stories in magazines about women who lost vast amounts of weight - I always tended to think that that was all very well for them, but it wouldn't work for me, etc. And then I went to SW on Saturday and met women who'd lost 5,6,7 stone, etc and realised I was making excuses.

I think you're right about hoping it's a habit. I reckon habit is a massive part of the problem. There have been times in my life where I think I probably was dependent, but I think a lot of it now is just because I have bugger all else to do of an evening.

I think in one month we can achieve something positive!

Feckinlego Sun 02-Nov-14 14:36:01

You sound in a really good place so I think you will do it. I know what u mean about drinking when happy, it feels ok to do that, doesn't make me feel as guilty for some reason!
I'm hoping that will be the case, that I stop thinking about it. My test will be Monday night as ill be finished work so it's my weekend, even though ill be up for the school run etc all week.

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