They have been dating 7 mos. Yes he has alarm bells going off yet he does really have strong feelings for the mother. He has been married before and is extra cautious now. He doesn't want to be Daddy and have the relationship fail. We feel it would harm the child if the relationship failed and she lost her "daddy".
Absolutely not! The most I would allow (if I were him) would be 'Uncle firstname'. There's no need to 'title' him anything, really.
I think that GS really needs to have a sit down with this lovely girl. It may be that they have different ideas of where this relationship is or where it is heading. He owes that to her and to himself.
He should run from any woman who thinks that 'daddy' is whoever is sleeping with mommy at any given time. Naturally her inability to understand that makes her incapable of providing her child with the emotional security he needs but your gs should play no part in fucking up an innocent child's life.
If he remains involved he'll just be the beginning of a long line of 'daddies', all of them warping his view of what a parent should be and causing attachment, trust and security issues. The same thing will happen to any child he has with her (if he's dumb enough), whether he likes it or not.
He should take this opportunity to run as fast as he can and never look back.
I'm very likely to out myself, cos I'm possiably the only child that did this, even though I'm going to change the names.
I used to call my mums boyfriend "mummy First name" he wasn't my daddy, nor my uncle, it acknowledged the affection, and my mothers relationship with him without crossing that line in to daddy. Admittedly my dad was very much still around so couldn't really call him daddy I already had that. But it was a name I came up with, it was never suggested by either him or my mum, my brother just called him "eric" and ironically the man who did become my step father I've always just called by his first name. Even around my half siblings who call him dad. (Because he is their dad)
Would something along those lines work for the little girl?
DH has been DS' "daddy" since he was less than a year old. He has NC with his bio father but DS calls DH by his first name. Always has and probably always will. He introduces him to people has his dad and doesn't correct people if the say "where is your dad" for example but when addressing him he calls him my his first name. They are thick as thieves and have a lovely bond but they never needed the labels to know they love each other.