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What endearing term can a child use

(13 Posts)
Miniechat Sat 01-Nov-14 17:55:13

GS is dating a lovely girl with a 2 yr old and wants to have her call him daddy. He isn't comfortable with that yet and wants her to call him something else. Any suggestions!

smillassenseofsnow Sat 01-Nov-14 17:57:38

His name?!

Is it the girlfriend that wants the child to call him daddy? How long have they been dating?

Depending on the length of the relationship, alarm bells would be going off if I were the guy. Maybe unfairly, I'm not sure.

TheEnchantedForest Sat 01-Nov-14 18:17:46

Dating...they are only dating and she wants her two year old to call him daddy!

Red flags and alarm bells!!

It might sound extreme but I do feel sorry for the child in these situations where every new boyfriend is called daddy. So confusing. If you had said they were engaged but really, just dating!

Anyway, it sounds like your gs is doing the right thing and I would just say the little one should call him by name for now.

Miniechat Sat 01-Nov-14 18:33:19

They have been dating 7 mos. Yes he has alarm bells going off yet he does really have strong feelings for the mother. He has been married before and is extra cautious now. He doesn't want to be Daddy and have the relationship fail. We feel it would harm the child if the relationship failed and she lost her "daddy".

AcrossthePond55 Sat 01-Nov-14 18:42:02

Absolutely not! The most I would allow (if I were him) would be 'Uncle firstname'. There's no need to 'title' him anything, really.

I think that GS really needs to have a sit down with this lovely girl. It may be that they have different ideas of where this relationship is or where it is heading. He owes that to her and to himself.

FolkGirl Sat 01-Nov-14 20:54:32

Good grief, no. His name and only his name.

My son was 15mo when I got together with my (now ex) husband. He didn't call him daddy until he was nearly 5!

Even though was are now separated, my son still calls him dad and he is still very much his dad.

But 7mths is far too soon. Your grandson is right to be concerned.

ThisFenceIsComfy Sat 01-Nov-14 20:59:14

Goodness seems a bit quick. Can they come up with a short little nickname for him for the 2yr old?

Dowser Sat 01-Nov-14 21:16:56

Since I've been with my OH there's been two babies born into the family.

I'd like him to be known as gramps but he's not happy with it...( grumps lol!)

So, if your son isn't happy then the girlfriend needs to accept his wishes. Good on your son for being clear about that.

Rollontome Sun 02-Nov-14 16:27:42

He should run from any woman who thinks that 'daddy' is whoever is sleeping with mommy at any given time. Naturally her inability to understand that makes her incapable of providing her child with the emotional security he needs but your gs should play no part in fucking up an innocent child's life.

If he remains involved he'll just be the beginning of a long line of 'daddies', all of them warping his view of what a parent should be and causing attachment, trust and security issues. The same thing will happen to any child he has with her (if he's dumb enough), whether he likes it or not.

He should take this opportunity to run as fast as he can and never look back.

SugarPlump Sun 02-Nov-14 16:42:15

I'm very likely to out myself, cos I'm possiably the only child that did this, even though I'm going to change the names.

I used to call my mums boyfriend "mummy First name" he wasn't my daddy, nor my uncle, it acknowledged the affection, and my mothers relationship with him without crossing that line in to daddy. Admittedly my dad was very much still around so couldn't really call him daddy I already had that. But it was a name I came up with, it was never suggested by either him or my mum, my brother just called him "eric" and ironically the man who did become my step father I've always just called by his first name. Even around my half siblings who call him dad. (Because he is their dad)

Would something along those lines work for the little girl?

QisforQcumber Sun 02-Nov-14 16:44:01

DH has been DS' "daddy" since he was less than a year old. He has NC with his bio father but DS calls DH by his first name. Always has and probably always will. He introduces him to people has his dad and doesn't correct people if the say "where is your dad" for example but when addressing him he calls him my his first name. They are thick as thieves and have a lovely bond but they never needed the labels to know they love each other.

QisforQcumber Sun 02-Nov-14 16:45:28

*as not has. iPhone fingers

Castlemilk Sun 02-Nov-14 16:46:49

Sorry, agree that this is a huge red flag, and I would possibly even show your GS this thread. Not good at all on the Mum's part.

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