He does not have a right to expect sex from you, and no right to demand it of you against your own wishes and desires.
No, he doesn't. And neither does she. But they do have a right to happiness and fulfilment in the relationship and they have a right to ask for whatever they need in order to get that.
It's really very simple. No-one should have to have sex under duress in order to keep their partner happy, male or female, there's really no difference. At all. The big question is what constitutes duress, and where are the lines drawn?
If you frequently find yourself in this situation then you need to ask yourself why. Where there is a clear imbalance in levels of desire it needs to be addressed and worked on, and compromises must be made if the relationship is to be happy.
It is just as unreasonable for one partner to withhold sex for very long periods of time as it is for the other partner to demand it too often. Just because it's your right to refuse sex doesn't mean it's okay to expect your partner to go for unreasonably long periods of time without something which, for them, is an intrinsic part of a loving relationship. No-one should be forced into sex they don't want, but neither should anyone be constantly rejected or made to feel needy and unreasonable. There is no right or wrong amount of sex, it is purely a compatibility issue. Some people with a somewhat extreme desire (or lack or it) will find it a challenge to find a compatible partner.
Allowing a fair amount of time for recovery from childbirth, illness, emotional trauma or whatever, if one of you is more often than not having to beg, cajole, guilt-trip or bully the other into sex then there is something clearly wrong in the dynamic and the compatibility of the relationship. It might be physical or it might be psychological.
What should happen is that there should be some effort on both sides to meet somewhere in the middle. For the highly sexed person that will mean lots of wanking in the shower and for the one who's not fussed it will sometimes mean they have to put their partner's needs and feelings before their own and just do it, and try to do it with some enthusiasm. Not because they are being pressured but because they recognise that if the relationship is to stay happy they need to make that effort.
It shouldn't have to get to the stage where someone feels under excessive pressure. Only the person feeling pressured can say honestly whether their partner has a valid point or not, re: frequency. And note I said 'feeling' pressured, not 'being' pressured - there is a difference. Some people might feel pressured because of subtle undercurrents of mood, even if their partner does or says nothing specific to make them feel that way. Sometimes 'feeling' pressured involves no actual pressure at all, beyond the fact that you are aware your partner is in the mood for sex, and you feel uncomfortable or guilty because you don't want it. But that is not necessarily their fault, is it?
If you feel pressured for sex much more often than you find yourself spontaneously wanting it then either you have a problem, or your partner does. Either work together to find a happy medium that leaves you both feeling wanted, respected and fulfilled, or split. The situation is not fair on either of you.
Most of us have dragged ourselves to a party that we didn't really fancy, and have had a really great time once we've go there. Sex can be a bit like that same sometimes. You have to put yourself in the mood, for the greater good. I realise that analogy sounds like a very dangerous one, but in the context of a loving, non-abusive relationship I think it's valid, so please try to take it in the spirit with which it was meant and don't turn it into something sinister.
Of course no decent person can truly enjoy sex if they know their partner is doing it reluctantly, so sometimes you might need to feign more enthusiasm than you actually feel at the beginning, but what usually happens is that you end up really enjoying yourself and feeling glad you made the effort.
If that suggestion panics, offends, revolts or appals you then clearly you are in the wrong relationship, and THAT is the thing that really needs addressing.
If that happens in all your relationships then you need to accept that you have a problem and either seek treatment, or stay single.
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