Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Do I try online dating yet?

(11 Posts)
lilaloves Sat 01-Nov-14 16:01:46

Ok,posted about my situation before,Dh left in summer,now with ow,he has totally moved on,we are starting separation process and meetings with solicitors etc.
So,I have survived the last few months,but my confidence has really been shattered ,dh has moved on so quickly that I feel left in limbo,I really want to concentrate on my future,improve my life,meet new people etc but feel a bit stuck.I had thought about setting up an online profile on match.com,I probably wouldn't even meet with anyone yet! not interested in a relationship at all,but it would be nice to think someone might be interested,and take my mind off the thoughts of dh and his new life with ow.
Is it normal to feel so deeply unattractive after separation?,even though I know that's not really true
I know I shouldn't need someone else to validate me but I must admit I could do with a confidence boost at the moment.So yes or no? or should I wait? I have no experience of online dating so any sites which I should avoid?Any better than others?

feelinghothothot Sat 01-Nov-14 16:20:10

Well, this could go one of two ways. I'm a firm believer in online dating - and it is fantastic for the reason that you outline here BUT it can be soul destroying in equal measure. It's not for the feint hearted and can you lead you to feel not so great about yourself as you 'meet' the inevitable time wasters who will have you questioning yourself.

If I were you, I might wait a bit longer. But I would definitely recommend it. With perseverance you can have a happy ending wink

Notmeagain1 Sat 01-Nov-14 16:23:13

I personally would wait just a bit longer before thinking about on-line dating. Get yourself out there through the holidays and see if you meet anyone interesting the old fashioned way.
If nothing is clicking after thr first of the year then consider on line dating. I have heard good things about Match.com, but never tried one. Good luck with whatever you decide. smile

pippinleaf Sat 01-Nov-14 16:46:40

I think online dating is fantastic for some ego boosting flirty emails and for feeling like someone is interested in you. Providing you are careful to listen toy our hunches and weed out nutters I'd recommend it.

At the end of my last relationship I went online and met a few nice blokes. I made the mistake of being far too keen for one,clearly unpleasant, bloke to work out. I did end it fortunately but probably later than I should have. I then listed my criteria and stuck to it. Eventually met my husband.

Good luck!

lilaloves Sat 01-Nov-14 16:51:23

I know what you mean.I have a couple of nights out planned for this month,but so hard to fit in social life with three dcs.I don't even really want a relationship,Im more than happy to just be me and the dc for the foreseeable future.
I suppose I want to prove to myself that I could find someone else if I wanted to.
But I am prepared for the fact that if I did get any replies they might be less than desirable,which you are right could knock my confidence.Food for thought.

lilaloves Sat 01-Nov-14 18:46:45

If I do set up a profile,What name should I use? I want something fun,carefree,not too twee,any ideas?

DollyRocker1 Sat 01-Nov-14 19:46:41

Anything really that has resonance to you. Mine is flamenco angel as I dance flamenco and work in Angel although angel also has another meaning.

feelinghothothot Sat 01-Nov-14 20:42:54

Yes, something meaningful to you but also that doesn't out who you are for loons!

To answer your previous question of which site, match.com worked well for me!

pippinleaf Sat 01-Nov-14 20:57:21

Maybe something linked to a hobby? Nothing which is overtly sexy!

Oxymoron2K14 Sat 01-Nov-14 20:57:30

As someone who has tried free and paid for sites I'd suggest that the quality is no better on either.

Choose a good name, wrote some about yourself, choose a positive looking few pics and get ready for a bombardment from faceless letharios.

Somewhere in the middle will be someone worth talking to and meeting. It's not a race, go at your pace smile

AYellowCreation Sat 01-Nov-14 20:59:36

You need to be quite thick skinned for OD and not take it too seriously. Try lurking on the Dating Thread for educational purposes?

How about dancing - ceroc, salsa, modern jive? Or running (C25k and Parkrun) or meetup.com ?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now