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Can't do right for wrong. No matter what I do I'm always wrong.

(16 Posts)
PigmyAcne Sat 01-Nov-14 09:45:56

He moaned about me being a full time student and not bringing money in. We discussed it, I decided to intercalate and work for a year for the money and he got pissed off and whingy that my course was now going to last longer. When it came to me going back he moaned and got huffy about the fact that I wasn't bringing money in anymore. I arrange to work weekends and he moans and huffs that I'm spoiling the weekend because it's a time when everyone should relax but I'm in work mode thus spoiling the 'relaxation' ... If I don't work he moans that we have no money. I just can't do right for wrong.

If I speak optimistically about our future income (next September I'll be back to full time - next November by income will top £22k) he moans that it's all so far away and not worth thinking about. He's like a sponge sapping away at any optimism I might muster up.

PigmyAcne Sat 01-Nov-14 09:49:43

One minute he says "you've not done any weekend shifts for quite some time now, that's why we're short of money" and then when I Arrange shifts he says "you shouldn't have done that, we can get by without you working weekends" for fucks sake.

PoundingTheStreets Sat 01-Nov-14 09:51:52

How long have you been together? Has he always been like this or is this a new thing?

TBH he sounds so spectacularly unsupportive and inconsistent that it would be enough for me to tell him to walk unless he has otherwise incredibly redeeming features.

MrsCosmopilite Sat 01-Nov-14 09:52:29

So what are the good points of the relationship? It doesn't sound promising for the long term is there is this amount of resentment about your studying.

Suckitup Sat 01-Nov-14 09:53:58

What contribution does he make? Do you live together?

Monathevampire1 Sat 01-Nov-14 10:13:00

PigmyAcne what exactly is good about this relationship?

Joysmum Sat 01-Nov-14 10:33:13

Pull him up on it, tell him he agreed to it and ask outright what he would have you do as all this change of attitude is wearing your patience very thin.

Crinkle77 Sat 01-Nov-14 11:11:53

What about the waste of money if you pull out of your course?

Cloudhowe63 Sat 01-Nov-14 11:19:37

If he is like this now, you need to consider what your life would be like if you had children with him at some point in the future.

wallaby73 Sat 01-Nov-14 11:34:03

Sounds to me he is trying to scupper your university course.....hmm

trackrBird Sat 01-Nov-14 16:51:59

You have a problem there Pigmy. And it's not you. You've identified it yourself:

He's like a sponge sapping away at any optimism I might muster up.

Deathraystare Sat 01-Nov-14 17:22:26

Please tell me you are not married to him. Do you really want to stay with someone who drains you like that???? It will only get worse.

Squidstirfry Sat 01-Nov-14 18:10:05

I had one of these. He moaned that i was a student so we never had the money to do fun things, so i got an eves/weekend job but then it "didn't ferl like i have a girlfriend" because we never had the time to do fun things.

What is he doing about it? You live your life the way you want to.

Squidstirfry Sat 01-Nov-14 18:11:32

If he is so bothered by how much money you are earning, maybe he should get a better job himself to bring more money in.

Quitelikely Sat 01-Nov-14 18:22:04

He sounds like a drain on your emotional energy. Tbh he sounds thoroughly unpleasant. If you don't have kids and aren't married I would consider running for the hill!

Quitelikely Sat 01-Nov-14 18:22:12

Or hills even!

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