I'm 50 and at my age I never thought this would happen to me! I've become very attracted to a younger woman 42/43 whom I've met at work. She has a wonderful fun personality, is clever, capable and ambitious and to cap it all I find her physically attractive too! She has 2 young children ( 2 and 3) and I have 1 who is due to start Uni next year. I love my wife but as a sister or as I love my mother! I feel my marriage has been one of convenience for the last 18 years! My wife and I have had sex just once after our daughter was born! Yes! Just once in 18 years and it wasn't that good either! There is no cuddling, hand holding or affection from either of us yet I believe we both care for each other very much and don't want either to be hurt. I know my wife doesn't want our marriage to end and she feels insecure. She gets upset easily over anything that quite innocently suggests I don't love her like a wife. We've had many ups and downs and have talked about things a lot. I think I've tended to 'kick things into the long grass' for years because I've not been in a meaningful relationship with anyone else. I'm a normal guy and I adore women and love sex. I'm not a machine and so have had to meet other women for sexual needs. This has made me feel guilty and unworthy and I know its wrong to treat my wife in this way. 4 years ago she found out and was understandably upset and angry. We kept things together for the sake of our daughter and have got on quite well since. My wife has not helped our relationship either. 10 years ago she ran up £25k of credit card debts without telling me! I cleared them and she did it again 2 more times for similar amounts! I felt betrayed and used and as if I didn't count. There is lots of other stuff - too much to mention here. I feel guilty for not ending our marriage years ago but couldn't bear to leave my daughter.I blame nobody more than myself and know I should end my marriage. I just wanted to share this and to look for re-assurance I'm doing the right thing. I've been unhappy for many years and I also think my wife deserves better. It's all very painful though just thinking about divorce. I'm also in turmoil emotionally and want to get closer to the lady I've met at work.
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ItsAllJollyGoood ·
01/11/2014 01:48
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