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Am i being irrational

(5 Posts)

I have posted this in chat but i thought it was probably best place here sorry.

I might be im 9 weeks pregnant n in the middle of trying to quit smoking.

Will give some facts that could be relevant but and don't want to drip feed.

Dp and i are currently living apart he's staying with his parents and works for a friend thurs to sun in a driving job and its in an area we are trying to move to as dc2 who has sn will get more help and support. There are 5 dcs but not all dps. At the moment he spends 2 weeks at his parents and every 3rd week he is here mon to wed when he.goes back for work on the thurs. He does all viewings when we get them as its too far for me to travel.

Dp has rung tonight while on his break and we were just having a general chat when he suddenly tells me he's planning on taking a 5 day course for a motorcycle licence it means he needs to take 2 days off to do it. I'm not particularly impressed as i asked him to do this during the summer holidays as he was struggling with the visits as work was extra busy and he.was finishing later. It ended up that we didn't.see him for 7 weeks. I told him i was upset as he was willing to do this for something that only benefits him and i had asked him to do the same thing so he could see his family. His response was well ill see you every night and evening after the course. He also said its been something hes wanted to do for years and he never does anything for himself at which point i did get mad and told him fine do it then.
I asked him how we was going to afford it as we are saving for the baby plus we still need some money towards all the moving costs and a few things will need like bunkbeds for the dds as dd2 will be coming out of her.cot soon.
His reply was well i will help you out when i can. At this i questioned his reply as it sounded to me like when the move comes he isn't planning on moving in when i do and he said oh well i'm not sure if i can afford it.

Right now i'm absolutely fuming and upset and i feel like he has let me down badly as this isn't how we.discussed things and planned things to be. I know we need to talk about it but i also know it will end up in an argument cause he will say i'm being irrational about it all and i just need to know before it gets to that if i am.

Sorry for any typo's i'm on my phone and.really upset at the moment.

Drumdrum60 Fri 31-Oct-14 23:04:08

First thing is calm down. Deep breathing? Etc. You are angry so won't be thinking straight. Sounds complicated. Think again in the morning. Hope you're ok tonight.

Venticoffeecup Fri 31-Oct-14 23:12:49

I second Drumdrum60.

Go to bed and get some rest, or at least watch some crap TV to take your mind off it.

It's a bad idea to discuss difficult issues with your DP when you are angry. Don't make assumptions about what he is feeling.

Thank you for the replies.

I'm calmish at the moment dd2 isn't feeling well so we are having cuddles.

whitsernam Fri 31-Oct-14 23:21:30

I see what you're saying, and I'd be very concerned if this was my situation. My suggestion would be to try to write out what you want to say to him, then let it sit for a while - even a day or two - then re-read it and make any changes you need, before actually talking about it with him again. That way you can be really clear what you think and feel, and how to say it.

Good luck! I hope it's just a minor glitch.

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