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Nervous Breakdown?

(15 Posts)
StopStalkingMe Thu 30-Oct-14 17:06:09

I think I am going through a nervous breakdown as a result of my ongoing divorce process. Yesterday, I totally lost the plot and there were a few hours that I just can't remember. confused I called a friend in a panic during it, but I don't remember half what she said.

I'm in the wee early months of having been left/going through a divorce and I thought I was doing well. Moving forward, knowing I'm better off now without him, etc. But since finding out he most definitely is with someone else last week, I have just lost the plot in life and have sunk so low.

Did anyone else have a breakdown? If so how did it manifest for you and how did it get resolved? I just can't seem to pull myself out of it and am thinking about seeing my GP for some meds to help. I also will start my counselling very soon, so I know that will help. I'm also reading self-help book after book, perhaps I'm dwelling on it, but how to stop?

pinkartset Thu 30-Oct-14 17:13:45

I don't really have any decent advice OP, I thought I'd just hold your hand until someone else comes along with some better advice.

Sounds like you are having a very difficult time at the moment. I would definitely go to the GP and see what they say. Also the fact that you are having counselling soon will also be a positive step. It might make you feel worse before you get better but if you stick at it it is definitely beneficial IMO. Have you thought about hyponotherapy? I had some sessions for anxiety earlier in the year and it was very good. Like having you mind massaged.

flowers

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 30-Oct-14 17:34:02

You definitely need to talk to a doctor if you're experiencing stress at a level where bits of your life are going missing. When I was in a similar situation of being freshly dumped by a husband for an OW I remember dreading long drives, quiet evenings, or any other times when my mind was 'idling'. Reading a book was impossible. That was when all my negative thoughts & questions would crowd in... almost like someone shouting at me. The only way I found through it was to fill every waking hour with 'stuff'... friends, travel, hobbies, work.... basically people and activities that diverted my attention completely.

Matildathecat Thu 30-Oct-14 17:37:08

Definitely see your GP. Sorry you are going through all this.

It will get better. (())xx

StopStalkingMe Thu 30-Oct-14 17:37:47

Yes, Cog, I think with it being half term and the kids have been poorly, so we've been stuck in, it has just added to what was already a hard time. How long did you need to keep busy like that? When could you just enjoy your own company again without obsessing?

Lozislovely Thu 30-Oct-14 17:46:46

I had a similar experience earlier this year. Went through separation and moving to a new home with me and DS's absolutely fine but then I seemed to lose the plot. Not sure if it was because I'd been 'strong' for the boys, full steam ahead with my new life etc.

I told XH that I was having issues because I was concerned about the impact of how I was on the boys.

It was subsequent to that that I found out he had met someone new and it floored me.

I couldn't concentrate on anything, literally lost days sitting on the sofa in my pyjamas just not being able to see past the next few hours without crying and feeling out of it.

With the right medication and CBT I can confidently say 6 months on I am back to the 'normal' me and enjoying life with a new man and a renewed hope for the future.

Do see your GP and ask about counselling. I believe even just being able to talk to someone who might not be able to solve how you feel, but guide you out of your current situation is well worth it. I went down the CBT route as I was suffering from awful anxiety and the sessions I went through really helped to get things into context.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 30-Oct-14 17:52:15

In my case I think it was several months of really determined day-filling before I could sit quietly and not be bombarded with all the unanswered questions rattling through my head. I didn't go home for a long time - camped out on friend's sofas, travelled for work, stayed extra late at the office. Any excuse.

Zebraface Thu 30-Oct-14 18:11:07

Sorry you are going through this op.

Definitely see your doctor for ads. Doesn't have to be long term but sometimes you just go into overload & I think that's when you have to realise there's strong & there's not humanly possible.

Ive just arranged counselling for myself & its 3 years since xh left,2 years since court,1 year since moving house. ..suddenly its all caught up with me. And I thought I'd been strong hmm

FreudianGymSlip Thu 30-Oct-14 18:53:30

OP. You aren't having a nervous breakdown. You're in a process which is going to make you feel like you're breaking down but you're not smile.
Everything you describe is understandable in the context of what you describe. The early months are a time of uneven progress and process. Emotions aren't in sync with cognitions and vice versa, particularly when there is new information coming in.

Honestly, this will get better in time as you come to terms with what you know is the right thing to do. I'd say make sure you have a mix of friends who are reliable and understanding and 'things to be getting on with' which address both your need to process and progress your situation. It's about balance I think and even that's a skill to be learnt at a time like this.

You are human and have had a trauma of sorts. So be kind to yourself and give yourself a break.

greenberet Thu 30-Oct-14 19:34:22

Hi stop i think you and me are in a similar time frame - and we seem to be going through fairly similar emotions. I too at the start of this was feeling like you - i can do this, better off without him etc, started doing new things and then attended mediation and he refused to answer directly whether affair still ongoing although I suspected it was. I have since found out it is he has now told kids. I hate him for what he has done - he says kids are his priority but they cant be. the day after mediation i felt i was falling apart - obsessing over everything - why has he done this etc - I am having counselling and my counsellor told me I am being too hard on myself - same with GP - I felt because I had been doing ok I should be getting better not worse - i am on ADs - but GP just said this is a major crisis and it is going to take time and everything I am feeling is completely understandable. The paperwork for the divorce seems to be consuming too just cant seem to escape from it all. I desperately want to feel loved -especially after he told me he hasnt been sure about his feelings for me for the last couple of years and i sensed it - i want to feel like him but I cant even go down that road - i have to be here for the kids - i have to do everything first for them as they have been destroyed too. Its shit at the moment - im hating the prospect of christmas and just want to fast forward six months - but I know I will get through this and will be ok - i beleive things always happen for a reason i just dont know what the reason is at the moment. Just take a day at a time
and if you need a day off then take it.

alongcamespiders Thu 30-Oct-14 20:27:35

My divorce just completed, I had what I felt was a breakdown this spring/summer. I got some kind of mad virus which knocked me bandy and couldn't focus on even the simplest of tasks. I also made a crazy decision to enter into a rebound relationship with an arsehole (an old trusted friend) who completely changed before my eyes, an abusive Jekyll and Hyde character,it was chaotic and damaging.
I finally ditched the rebound and started to try and take control of my life. I am still nursing myself back to health, trying to put minimal pressure on myself and only doing things which are necessary or relaxing and trying not to add any burden.

saltnpepa Thu 30-Oct-14 21:12:18

I think with a breakdown you find it hard to function, just getting out of bed or going to work, eating and sleeping. Are you managing to otherwise keep up a normal life or has your life started to fall apart? Sitting on the sofa for days on end crying is normal in this context and I would be careful about running to AD. Sometimes I think we medicate what are normal emotions and stop ourselves processing things properly. Counselling will help. You sound a bit too lucid for a breakdown to me.

Preciousbane Thu 30-Oct-14 21:17:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StopStalkingMe Thu 30-Oct-14 21:27:37

Oh Gosh, thanks guys for your stories! I just had a friend over and as we were talking about all sorts, it felt like the fog in my head was clearing. Like a reality check. I think my thoughts were carrying me away to la-la-land? It really scared me when I blanked out for a few hours as that's never happened to me before. Thank goodness my daughter was having a nap and my son was watching cartoons happily. I still feel fuzzed now, but like I could sleep and actually rest. But who knows about tomorrow. confused
I'm so sorry you all are going through this/have gone through it. But we are all still here, right? Life goes on in some shape or form?

saltnpepa Fri 31-Oct-14 06:05:17

You need to think carefully about how you look after yourself if you have small children at home with you. If you can manage to fall apart when they're at school or in bed that's ok but if they're seeing you staring into space on sofa all day you do need to see gp because it's not good for them. Are you managing to go to work, eat and sleep?

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