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oogling young girls

(805 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

typingtoofast Sat 25-Oct-14 22:08:51

Myself and my partner have decided to give it another try. He is convinced im the woman for him and has apologised for his regular selfish episodes where I have to explain to him that his behaviour is not condusive to a healthy relationship. Ultimately he's selfish. But he has improved and I have seen a loving, attentive and kind man. I was beginning to think that this was a great new start for our relationship and was glad to give it another shot as had missed him when I decided to end it. The break gave me and him perspective and what was important to us both. All that aside.
We were out today in town and a group of young girls (16yr olds I'd say)were obviously heading off on a halloween party night. I had mentioned how inappropriate I thought the outfits were as they were extreamely revealing. You get the picture. In my mind I'm also thinking how they will catch their death of cold!
He views the girls and says they're out for a good night and laughs. He almost snapped his neck gawping. Now nobody could help it as the outfits as i said were ott. But then he replies they'll be teasing the boys later in the nightclub. I reply yes and that's just wrong.
I have in hay days worn revealing outfits and I replied that I wasn't necessarily looking for sex I was I suppose just rebelling and trying to be adult like.
He replied but kids these days are having sex younger, just look at them,look at the one in the tiny outfit. She'll be having sex tonight with the way she's carrying on.
I told him that's enough, that he looked like a sleezy man oogling.
He replied oh to be back that age again. I'd love to meet her out. Imagine the fun.
I was appalled by two things. One him visioning and two saying it in front of me.
Is this normal? I was disgusted and chose to say nothing for the rest of the evening. But then I think what if middle aged men say these things in their head. He's stupid/honest enough to say it out to me.
Now I'm thinking I am with a sleezy middle aged man and worries me that he would think like that.

JohnFarleysRuskin Sat 25-Oct-14 22:11:01

You are with a sleazy middle aged man.

He sounds awful op.

SweetErmengarde Sat 25-Oct-14 22:18:15

Ugh. That would just kill any attraction I had for him stone dead.

He will probably try to minimise/shut you up by saying that all men think or act that way. Don't let him. They don't.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 25-Oct-14 22:19:14

It's the kind of conversation grubby old geezers have with each other. Either he was ignoring your presence or he could see it was winding you up and that's why he carried on. Not what you'd call gallant is he?

ChillingGrinBloodLover Sat 25-Oct-14 22:21:32

You are. Urgh.

Do you have kids?

fifi669 Sat 25-Oct-14 22:23:32

That's man talk. Not something you say in front of your DP no matter what age you are or the women are. He was being a knob.

patronisingbitchinthewardrobe Sat 25-Oct-14 22:27:55

Ditch him. He's sleazing on children.

FluffyMcnuffy Sat 25-Oct-14 22:39:53

His behaviour is truly revolting OP. I'm not surprised it's put you off him.

MyEmpireOfDirt Sat 25-Oct-14 22:41:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlpacaYourThings Sat 25-Oct-14 22:45:04

That's man talk.
Is it? My DH wouldn't speak like that, neither would my DB or my DF.

Zazzles007 Sat 25-Oct-14 22:51:20

That's man talk.

I'm with Alpaca on this. Don't demean yourself by being with a man who talks like this, whether or not you are around. Ultimately, it is a reflection of how he thinks. So disrespectful of both women and children. Yuck.

Btw OP, do you think he is more or less selfish, after that episode? He carried on as if it was about him...

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Sat 25-Oct-14 22:55:18

Any man talking like that would be cut out of my life quick-smart

You have made a mistake taking him back, OP

it's a good thing he has demonstrated this to you so clearly, saves you wasting any more time on him

AdoraBell Sat 25-Oct-14 23:00:30

Dirty old man <shudders> you can do so much better than this creep.

DiaDuit Sat 25-Oct-14 23:07:56

Its not man talk- it's sleaze talk. There's a difference.

OP ditch him. He is really just a constant source of head pain to you.

AlpacaYourThings Sat 25-Oct-14 23:09:48

I think calling it man talk is offensive to decent men.

ElephantsNeverForgive Sat 25-Oct-14 23:10:49

I think all men think like this, the wise ones know their DPs well enough to judge how much they say.

unadulterateddad Sat 25-Oct-14 23:11:16

I'm a bloke and I would never imagine saying anything like that.

He's a sleazy scumbag.

vodkanchocolate Sat 25-Oct-14 23:19:49

Yuk, to make his comments worse he continued to carry on the convo with you despite you letting him know how you felt. I am pretty laid back but id be appalled if my husband said anything like this, and if he did I would remind him that could be his daughters in a few more years angry

AlpacaYourThings Sat 25-Oct-14 23:21:29

I think all men think like this, the wise ones know their DPs well enough to judge how much they say.


okeydonkey Sat 25-Oct-14 23:28:25

That's awful to say that!

neiljames77 Sat 25-Oct-14 23:31:04

It's a matter of taste I suppose. Maybe he's having a crisis and realises his youth has well and truly gone, along with his chances of ever pulling a young woman unless he becomes very wealthy.

Cabrinha Sat 25-Oct-14 23:39:28

YOU think their clothes are inappropriate because they're revealing
YOU think he couldn't help looking (no, poor thing, it's their fault)
YOU agree that yes, they'll be teasing boys later and that's not right

These young women can wear whatever the fuck they like. Inappropriate, is not wearing party clothes to a party. Wearing something that is "revealing" does not mean you will be teasing boys.

Your attitude isn't as far from your partner's as you might like to think.
Not impressed with either of you.

typingtoofast Sun 26-Oct-14 00:33:13

I am glad that I don't seem hot headed over this to the majority here.
I have a child and and he has been been supportive and great with dc. My child is not at an age yet where going out alone is an option.

To generalise I do think men more than women will look at opposite sex in a more sexual way. I think when young girls are dressed provocatively men no matter what age will look. But it's feeling he can express what he is thinking to me that I find offensive. He also engaged in more than I thought he was thinking. which i find extremely off putting.

Cabrinha yes the clothing or lack of was revealing and why would they wear such clothing only to gain attention. Let's not beat around the bush. And yes their behaviour as they walked along was that of young girls wanting to be noticed and revealing an ample cleavage would tease a hormonally charged boy! How can you not realise that it's inappropriate to wear something like this if not to gain attention and the wrong attention at that.
when my child is old enough to go out themselves I will encourage them to dress in a way that they can still look feminine and nice without letting it all hang out in a vulgar fashion.

LemonDrizzleTwunt Sun 26-Oct-14 00:38:55

What Cabrinha said.

gobbynorthernbird Sun 26-Oct-14 00:42:45

tease a hormonally charged boy

Those poor, helpless boys hmm

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