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I have a date and I'm terrified!

(41 Posts)
ProfessorPickles Sat 25-Oct-14 12:46:25

I wish I wasn't so nervous sad
The date is next Friday and I'm scared already!

He seems lovely and I'm worried my nerves will ruin it, I'm going to buy a new outfit though, have my hair cut and go for a few runs the days before in the hope to boost my confidence!

My main worry is that he's really into fitness and I'm a bit overweight and flabby since having my DS.
But I suppose if he doesn't like me because of that I shouldn't care!!

Any first date stories or tips would be good!! Preferably positive ones wink

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 25-Oct-14 12:53:58

Don't do the 'pick me dance' ... smile Be yourself, flab and all, and enjoy the company. He might be a complete arse, he could be a new friend or he could be the love of your life. You're the one judging him.... so set the bar high and I hope it's fun.

ProfessorPickles Sat 25-Oct-14 13:12:34

I'm too shy for the pick me dance grin
It's a good point that I'm judging him too, it really does feel like I'm off for a bloody interview or something daft like it's all on me!
He's driving a fair way to come meet me so I feel quite happy that he's keen.

It's the first time I've met anyone from online dating, infact I've never been taken on a proper date before!

ProfessorPickles Sat 25-Oct-14 13:13:01

Thank you cogito smile

PenelopeGarciasCrazyHair Sat 25-Oct-14 13:23:51

I remember feeling absolutely sick before my first date (a few months after leaving XH of 14 years).

I had been messaging a guy online and he suggested meeting for coffee that lunch time. I said I wasn't ready to actually meet anyone, then thought "hang on, what am I doing this for if I don't actually leave the house and talk to someone in person?!" so I agreed and went within a couple of hours, so at least not too much time to get nervous!

I treated it a bit like a job interview, not expecting big love, I was going to impress, but also to just be myself and to see if he impressed me. As it turned out, he was keener than I was, said I'd restored his faith in OD as I was attractive and 'normal' (big compliment in the OD world grin ) and gave my confidence a big boost.

A few dates with other guys settled my nerves, but when I met DP apparently my hands were shaking and I looked like a rabbit in the headlights. Within 10 minutes we were chatting and joking and ended up extending our date for drinks into dinner, more drinks, abandoning the cars to get drunk, snogging in a corner and getting a taxi home instead!

We've been inseparable ever since, two years ago and we still refer to it as 'officially the best first date anyone ever had' - unless you can top it next Friday smile Try not to put great expectations onto the date or the man and just enjoy it.

ProfessorPickles Sat 25-Oct-14 17:40:24

That date sounds amazing Penelope!! I would be chuffed if the date turns out half as good as that grin
It does sound like a dream date!

It's nice to hear a positive story, I suppose even if I don't like him or he doesn't like me it's a new experience and I'll (hopefully) be better prepared for future dates where I meet someone right for me!

I just hope it's fun and not quiet and awkward!! grin

DollStar Sat 25-Oct-14 18:01:20

Good luck Pickles, and let us have a toilet update wink

lucieloos Sat 25-Oct-14 18:08:35

I know how nerve wracking it is pickles but that is completely normal. Just think it's only a couple of hours out of your life and what's the worst that can happen. If you don't see each other again then you weren't meant to be anyway. You have everything to gain though and if you don't go you will never know.

I remember doing online dating, arranged to meet up with someone I had been chatting to for a while. Even when the day came I was debating whether to text him and say something had come up and I couldn't make it as I was so nervous but I told myself if i did that then I would have to stop texting and emailing him as well as there would be no point and I didn't want to do that so I went.

Fast forward nearly 5 years later and we are married and trying for our first baby grin My life would have turned out so differently if I hadn't plucked up the courage to go x

ProfessorPickles Sat 25-Oct-14 19:27:49

Oh yes doll I will make sure to keep you informed grin I'll feel sneaky haha!!

Bet you're definitely glad you went on that date then lucie smile that's lovely!
Best of luck TTC smile
A really nice positive story!

DollStar Sun 26-Oct-14 19:44:09

What happened Pickles????

ProfessorPickles Sun 26-Oct-14 20:03:41

The date was supposed to be next Friday but we are going out wednesday now instead!

I've just realised I have nothing to wear and I'm looking a bit chubby too, rubbish! sad
Need to go shopping tomorrow to try get an outfit think I may need to enrol the help of style and beauty MNers haha

lucieloos Sun 26-Oct-14 20:05:17

Good luck pickles let us know how it goes!

DollyRocker1 Sun 26-Oct-14 20:07:22

Pickles, you are not alone on being nervous about online dating. I've got my first Eharmony date on Thursday and I feel the same. I'm meeting him on the Southbank so don't know if I'm best dressing up and risk my skirt flying up or wearing work trousers. May wait and see what the weather's like first.

ProfessorPickles Sun 26-Oct-14 20:26:50

Thank you lucie! smile

Best of luck dolly!! I can definitely sympathise about the skirt dilemma I wear dresses almost every day so I've flashed people many times blush
I'm going to go shopping tomorrow and run around panicking looking for a nice dress that's slimming grin

ProfessorPickles Mon 27-Oct-14 22:24:13

Panic is setting in a little grin
Still don't have an outfit sorted, going to try sort something tomorrow!

I'm terrified it'll be awkward silences and that we will have nothing to talk about shock

lucieloos Tue 28-Oct-14 18:57:15

Do you have your outfit all sorted now pickles? Not long to go now..exciting!! grin

Dirtybadger Tue 28-Oct-14 19:39:56

Good luck Pickles! Ive managed to rack up a decent number of first dates through OLD now and the worst that's happened is that it's been a tad awkward. And that's one out of how many (it was pretty awkward but not painful). Even the ones where we didn't want to see one another after were enjoyable/decent/better than being home alone for a few hours!
The rest were very enjoyable! Ahem.

I sort of go with the mind set that I probably won't be into them/it's not important/I'm just keeping myself busy. That way I don't get too nervous. Try and square the pressure on them (not actually, but in your mind). You deserve someone to be trying just as hard to impress you!
Anyway it helps with nerves. Essentially the same approach I take to tests so that I don't end up a wreck. You'll get good at it after a few, too.

Enjoy enjoy enjoy!

ProfessorPickles Tue 28-Oct-14 20:47:39

Lucie - sort of!! smile
I've got two to pick from there's one that's more fashionable, it's black with a nice white collar, it's tighter and looks fairly slimming!
Or I've got a more girly hepburn style dress that is blue with subtle flowers on that I'm more comfortable in smile
Think I'm going to go for the girly one the if we end up seeing eachother again I've got the other one smile

Badger - I've been trying my best to have your attitude of "they've got to impress me" and expecting nothing to happen but then I remember how good looking he is and how lovely he seems and panic all over again grin
I will keep working on it though!! grinwink

lucieloos Tue 28-Oct-14 20:49:53

Your outfits sound great pickles, you will be fine, have a great time smile

DollyRocker1 Wed 29-Oct-14 09:03:37

Good luck Pickles. Sure you'll have a lovely evening and you'll look stunning.

TonyThePony Thu 30-Oct-14 08:55:35

How did the date go, Pickles?

lucieloos Thu 30-Oct-14 22:48:10

Would love to know how you got on too pickles? smile

SnotandBothered Thu 30-Oct-14 23:16:45

Oh I had come here hoping for a happy update too.... OP?

handfulofcobwebs Thu 30-Oct-14 23:42:09

Her date is tomorrow, I'm sure it will go really well smile

lucieloos Fri 31-Oct-14 10:55:06

The date changed cobwebs from Friday to Wednesday!

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