Namechanged out of shame.
I am in an EA relationship, I know this but can't get him to leave and he can be really lovely most of the time.
Unfortunately DP is manipulative and I am a sucker, if he doesn't get his own way he will get angry and punch walls and go on about how I obviously don't love or care for him and how I never have, he throws past things in my face such as him spending £13000 in 6 months with nothing to show for it because its my fault somehow, my default reaction is to calm him down and apologise for everything and then he will cry and apologise for being nasty and saying he doesn't mean it and it wont happen again... I believed it for a year or so but have now realised what he is doing.
But I can't leave him for fear of him killing himself, he has history of depression and sucidal tendancies so I am stuck, I care for him so much but I dont love him anymore, I am fed up of being left to do all the housework and childcare and pay for everything too, he does work part time and I work full time, but if I say anything the above happens and the after apologising he does help out for a few days.
To complicate everything further I have got talking to a lovely man I work with, he is so nice and I feel comfortable being around him, we have spent some time together and gone out for drinks as friends and for the first time in ages I feel I can talk without walking on eggshells.
We really like each other but I can't do anything about it because of DP.
I just don't know what to do I feel stuck but I know I am being stupid as it would never work, I can't leave DP as much as I try but I also don't want to stop my progressing friendship with this guy.
Sat here in tears because I know the answer but I can't hurt DP and it will ruin his life if I throw him out, we have had a lot of fantastic times together and we have a beautiful DD who is only a toddler so I know it isn't fair on her either.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I am being utterly stupid and need flaming
perfectlyincapable · 23/10/2014 17:08
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