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Sweet Revenge on ex-DP

(53 Posts)
DeeDeeMe Sat 18-Oct-14 16:05:41

A bit of a background - my exDP and his new wife (12 years younger than him?!?) went behind my back and got authorised absence from school for DS to go on holiday with them.

I was livid, how dare he! It won't happen again as I've been to school to tell them that as primary carer that permission can only be given to me.

Anyway this Christmas it is my turn to have DS for Christmas Day and was supposed to be his turn Boxing Day ( we have alternated since we split 7 years ago).

BUT not this year, I'll keep DS from the 24th - 28th, exDP will think twice about trying to get one over on me in the future!

Pinkandpurplehairedlady Sat 18-Oct-14 16:10:24

I'm not sure I understand. Your DS's dad asked the school for permission to take him out of school during term time without telling you?

I'm pretty sure that if he's named on the birth certificate he has parental responsibility so he is allowed to this. He should have discussed with you first though.

What does Christmas have to do with it? Won't DS want to see his dad over Christmas?

FryOneFatManic Sat 18-Oct-14 16:11:43

If your ex DP has PR he is equally able to apply for authorised absence. You may be the primary carer, that doesn't give you sole rights, unless you are the only parent with PR.

And don't bring your son into your petty revenge. Keep to the normal Xmas arrangements because it won't be your ExDP who ultimately gets hurt, it'll be your son.

Satinlaces Sat 18-Oct-14 16:12:12

How does your DS feel about your stance on the holiday and Christmas?

Fanfeckintastic Sat 18-Oct-14 16:12:33

Please let this be a joke?

StopStalkingMe Sat 18-Oct-14 16:13:22

How awful to use your DS as a pawn. Stick to the original agreement and have some dignity woman.

FishRabbit Sat 18-Oct-14 16:14:27


MexicanSpringtime Sat 18-Oct-14 16:17:01

Indeed, if your Ex is a bad father, time will take revenge on him and the same goes for you. Leave your son out of your fights with his father.

DeputyPecksBentBeak Sat 18-Oct-14 16:20:35

I don't know if this a reverse or not, but either way your poor DS.

As pp's have said, if he has parental responsibility he can take DS out of school without having to inform you. Annoying and impolite, yes, but technically nothing illegal with that or anything.

But how could you (or him, depending on if it's a reverse or not) use your DS as a tool for revenge? hmm

Just horrible

FruitCakey Sat 18-Oct-14 16:25:07

Oh for goodness sake OP, grow up!

Why punish your son, too?

Are you bitter about the fact that your EXDP has found a new wife - '12 years younger' as you so sweetly put it?


losthermind Sat 18-Oct-14 16:27:28

Would never use my children as weapons to get back at my ex
No matter how much of a fuckwit I think he is

TheCunkOfPhilomena Sat 18-Oct-14 16:29:42

Please don't do this OP. You feel wronged but you would be being unfair to your DS to not let him see his dad at Christmas.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sat 18-Oct-14 16:30:27

You sound like a child.

processedbeats Sat 18-Oct-14 16:31:07

Not sure what the age gap has to do with this.
Also, your DS might be upset/confused re why he isn't seeing his father at Christmas

VikingLady Sat 18-Oct-14 16:34:30

I'm guessing he left you, rather than the other way around? I wonder why...

WalkWithTheLonelyOnes Sat 18-Oct-14 17:03:25

Does it matter that she's 12 years younger - providing she is over the legal age of consent? Bitter much?

Punishing your son because of sonething your ex did will just prove to your child that getting one over on his dad who (I presume) he loves, takes priority over his wants and needs.

You need to put your son's feelings before your bitter jealousy.

caravanista13 Sat 18-Oct-14 17:16:37

I do hope this isn't genuine - what a dreadful way for a child to see his parents behaving.

LEMmingaround Sat 18-Oct-14 17:20:49

My mother used me as a stick to beat my df with when they split up. She knew it would hit him where it hurts. It hurt me more.

Tryharder Sat 18-Oct-14 17:22:10

Good Lord...

Hassled Sat 18-Oct-14 17:24:58

Schools aren't able to authorise holidays anymore. Or are there exceptional circumstances (which isn't a holiday)?

feetlikeahobbit Sat 18-Oct-14 17:26:39

How very selfish of you OP, the person most hurt in this will be your DS, doing shit like this will make him resent you when he's older.

Shockers Sat 18-Oct-14 17:35:58

This reads like a reverse AIBU.

Is it?

PatriciaHolm Sat 18-Oct-14 17:39:11

This is a reverse, right - you are the new twelve years younger model, I assume. Your point is?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sat 18-Oct-14 18:45:18

There won't be any "Sweet Revenge". There never is. All it will mean is releasing an avalanche of shitty behaviour in return. I was a child used in such a way and ended up hating both parents for it. Think again

Vitalstatistix Sat 18-Oct-14 18:53:19

Please don't use your child to score points. Your child deserves more from their parents than to be a pawn in some power struggle.

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