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My husband is an idiot!

(24 Posts)
FlipFloppinRubyRioja Tue 26-Sep-06 16:43:27

Just needed to get that off my chest!

Cannot tell dark washing from light
Has laid out clothes to pack for weekend lovingly laid dirty trainers on top of them
Taken out half the rubbish and locked the other half up in the shed

My the lord preserve my sanity

CarolinaMoon Tue 26-Sep-06 16:44:39

bet he didn't take your house keys and car keys to work with him yesterday

FlipFloppinRubyRioja Tue 26-Sep-06 16:45:34

No but he did pinch my last stamp! Should we have a competitive 'carp husbands' thread?

What did you do?

beckybrastraps Tue 26-Sep-06 16:45:46

My dh took my car keys to PHILADELPHIA!!

CarolinaMoon Tue 26-Sep-06 16:47:26

well, I stayed indoors with ds and MNed a lot instead of taking ds swimming.

Philadelphia deffo beats that though - what did you do becky?

FlipFloppinRubyRioja Tue 26-Sep-06 16:47:48

OK Beck, so far you win!

FlipFloppinRubyRioja Tue 26-Sep-06 16:48:05

Sorry Becky!

beckybrastraps Tue 26-Sep-06 16:49:16

Well, he hadn't taken his car to the airport. So I borrowed a car seat, fitted it into his car, turned the key and....it wouldn't start. He emailed his friend who came round a couple of days later to fix it. Until then - no car.

dmo Tue 26-Sep-06 17:45:32

my dh gone to ireland for up to two weeks with work
before he went he messed with my keys swopping bits etc
monday i went out in the car (i'm a childminder and have 3 little ones) gets home unload children get to front door no house keys on the car keys
had to phone one of my mindees mums who have keys to my house to resuce me she had to come out of work

suedenley Tue 26-Sep-06 20:25:31

My dh was putting up a shelf, he wasnt sure what might be lurking behind the wall electrics etc so told me to switch of the mains electrics,then plugged his drill into the socket and wondered why it wouldnt work lol

Spidermama Tue 26-Sep-06 20:33:17

God I'm not even going to start on this thread. I'm too het up with him to go for the element of catharsis which this thread may afford some of you.

Suffice it to say though that my dh is an utter fuckwit at the moment.

Put it this way: I'm finding it harder and harder to laugh at people like Stan Laurel and Basil Fawlty these days.

Nuff said.

Chandra Tue 26-Sep-06 21:23:45

He took my keys with him and locked the door with his, which he left hanging from the keyhole...outside! Had to spent half an hour guarding the keys from the window until he came back to retrieve them.

During a trip, he took the sim card out of my mobile, placed his on it and then made me swear I would leave my card in the key bowl by the door as he didn't trust me not to loose it... and then walked out the door and put all the loose change and my card in his pocket in a charity money box in a museum. We didn't realise until 3 days later... so, I have no mobile any more (because he is still sorting it up)

After weeks of nut allergy paranoia, he bought a jar of nutella and gave it to DS, who is nut alllergic, on a toast (Could have divorced him for that... I think all my street learned how to swear in Spanish that night). He has done the same with mayonaise (DS is also allergic to egg) and with pesto.

etc. etc. etc. I'm going to divorce out of sheer desperation...

giddy1 Tue 26-Sep-06 21:27:20

Message deleted

Chandra Tue 26-Sep-06 21:29:50

I'm not sure I'm happy of such honour

plummymummy Tue 26-Sep-06 21:58:48

Can never send them grocery shopping. They buy beer, sweets and ingredients for a fry up. Nothing suitable for a wife and toddler!

Twinkie1 Tue 26-Sep-06 22:08:46

Am fecked off with DH for the 4th time he has put the orange juice that Ocado deliver on the floor of the garage with the Diet Coke and Lemonade and such rather than in the fridge, where the 'Freshly Squeezed Orange' goes - he is a dumb feck as I screamed at him the previous 2 times - let him off the 1st time - you think he would remember!!!

At least for another week I get to feel superior to him though!!

HappyDaddy Wed 27-Sep-06 10:06:00

Can I be rude and laugh heartily? Bwah hah haaaaaah.

I've been a twat plenty of times but the wife has beaten most of it out of me.

Mascaraohara Wed 27-Sep-06 10:06:57

<whispers to OPer> they all are...

throckenholt Wed 27-Sep-06 10:20:57

>Cannot tell dark washing from light

this is a male failing I find. A constant source of arguement and frustration in our household. I hate the fact that all our teatowels etc are a grey colour now.

he can sort of do white, but light really stumps him - can't get his head around light should go with white not coloureds !

And he left my car keys in his trouser pocket upstairs and went to work - completely denied all knowledge of it when I rang him at work - DS was very late for school that day .

FlipFloppinRubyRioja Wed 27-Sep-06 10:51:54

Yes clearly the presence of testicles mean an individual is not capable of reading instructions - ever!

Dh was packing and has mislaid his passport (again) Oh, no could not possibly be in the safe! And his camera - he absolutely left it on the desk (where the children can reach). Apart from the fact he left it in the suitcase.

Happy daddy, I have mostly beaten out the flaws, but we have only been married for 14 years, so there is plenty of work left to do!

Seashells Wed 27-Sep-06 11:03:25

I've lost count of the number of times dp has lost bankcards, credit cards, his passport etc etc, he leaves them in the most stupid places, I get to the cash machine or checkout, only to find there is no cards in my purse (I resorted to keeping them ALL in there as he couldn't be trusted)
Also he's often locked me in the house, he's locked the door on his way out and not realised he's got both sets of keys grrrr.

Chandra Wed 27-Sep-06 17:06:10

Don't start me on husbands and pasports... After regular complaints from his part saying that I made him make mistakes because I was always controlling whether he had taken the passports or not I decided to shut up.

So, we took the 2 hour train to the airport, went past check in and then.... I realised he had taken my expired passport instead of the valid one (how the check in staff didn't realise I will never know), so... the staff from the door realised I told them I always traveled with my Spenish ID Card for foreigners around Europe (a lie that surprisingly they believed) and then say to the very nice swedish immigration officer that I had a little problem, no, I'm not asking for asylum thanks, but my pasport is expired... and... lovely boss of nice assitant allowed me in .

The down side of all the adventure was to wait desperately for my pasport to arrive before the weekend (sent keys to DH's colleague's wife from airport to retrieve my passport and send it nextday delivery to Sweeden so I could enter back 4 days later! Argh.... no wonder why I look so old for my age (apart of the age, of course...)

plummymummy Thu 28-Sep-06 08:02:31

you win again Chandra

idolovemyhusband Sat 24-Sep-11 14:02:50

The other day my husband put the milk back in the fridge, sideways, and forgot to put the lid on properly. Long story short, 2 hours later we have a pool of milk around the fridge, and a little lake of milk in the vegetable draws. I, was, cross! Love him to pieces but gosh of gosh what to do with him! I figured I need a place to vent to ensure these moments are nothing more than moments, rather than letting them build up over time. So, I started a new forum dedicated to the wonderful men in our lives who make life so....interesting. Love it if you'd drop by and share a story or too! Cheers, Emma http://the-my-husband-is-an-idiot-club-forum.2299704.n4.nabble.com/

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