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Found out husband was looking at local escort websites

(53 Posts)
Applez Sat 06-Sep-14 13:35:26

Please help as I'm clueless when it come to the internet and porn.
My husband asked me to connect his iPad to the wifi, I did that and found loads of escort agencies in the local area open on the safari page reading list.

I asked him why he was looking at escorts and he said that he was looking at some porn and that they adds popped up and he clicked on them as he was 'curious' but the location setting in Safari is turned off and pop up is turned off, so is this even possible??

I tried to explain that there is a big difference between porn and escort agencies, then he took the iPad and deleted the reading list so I can't check if his story is even true, please help, I'm in shock.

IUsedToUseMyHands Sat 06-Sep-14 13:42:09

Well it could be true but it's a huge red flag that he deleted all the history so you couldn't check if his story was true - if it was true he'd be falling over himself to prove it to you, showing you all his bank statements to prove he hasn't signed up to any, showing you his email inbox - not destroying all the evidence.

Applez Sat 06-Sep-14 13:49:40

You are right, why be so shady if you have nothing to hide! I wonder if it is even possible if those settings are turned off.

IUsedToUseMyHands Sat 06-Sep-14 14:07:05

I'm not sure but I think if your current location is unavailable, you might still receive local ads based on your most recent locations. But what difference does it make if he's running the "just curious" excuse?

IUsedToUseMyHands Sat 06-Sep-14 14:16:27

If I was just curious and had clicked on some ads, I'd be trying to recreate the steps I had taken in my curiosity from the original porn sites. It must all be saved in the history; I'd at least have a go. Oh but he's deleted it all.

PamDooveOrangeJoof Sat 06-Sep-14 14:20:35

I'm sorry but I think it's exactly what it looks like.
He was looking to use a local prostitute and when confronted - deleted all evidence.
I'm sorry.
I would also wonder I he had done this before and get an std test and throw him out.

StackladysMorphicResonator Sat 06-Sep-14 14:29:22

I dunno, it could just be curiosity - he just wanted to see what was out there and available, but not actually use an escort himself. If there are no other things that concern you then I'd let him off with a stern warning this time.

IUsedToUseMyHands Sat 06-Sep-14 14:41:05

If I was worried I'd ask him to show me his recent bank statements, mobile phone bills and email inbox and outbox to put my mind at rest. Stacklady there are other red flags namely that he has acted inconsistently with someone telling the truth, deleting instead of being open and transparent; also that he's ok with the commercial objectification of women in pornography.

Quitelikely Sat 06-Sep-14 14:44:58

So pop ups are turned off? Ask him to go on to his porn site so you can see these pop ups?

When they appear (if) make a note of the tel no and check your dh mobile bill.

hamptoncourt Sat 06-Sep-14 14:52:12

Oh dear, if it were me I would be off to see a solicitor and to get an STD check.

I think you know deep down what this is, it must be awful for you.

Do you have anyone you can talk about this to in RL? thanks

RedRoom Sat 06-Sep-14 15:37:25

I find it highly suspicious that there were 'loads' of escort agency sites in his history, all of which were local. I mean, how many pop up ads can one person get in a row that are all for exactly the same thing, and what are the odds that they are all local prostitutes given that you had your location settings turned off? It is a truly remarkable coincidence. It sounds implausible because it's a lie. He searched for local prostitutes, one after another after another. That goes beyond mere curiosity to me, and crosses a boundary of 'actively seeking a local woman to pay to have sex with'. He then cemented his lying by deleting the history so you would find no more evidence. If he was telling you the truth, he would want to prove it. Have you ever known an innocent person in court refuse to provide an alibi for themselves??

Joysmum Sat 06-Sep-14 15:41:43

I've never had a pop up on an iPad.

Jacksonville14 Sat 06-Sep-14 16:00:46

I wouldn't find porn acceptable let alone escorts.

Squidstirfry Sat 06-Sep-14 16:02:09

I don't know how myself but I think there is a way to uncover deleted history by using the ipad's iplayer ???

I would also be checking his mobile phone. If his calls list is deleted, get a statement sent.

IMO even looking for local prostitutes in 'curiosity' is vile.

LiberalLibertines Sat 06-Sep-14 16:08:45

I'd honestly say...

You're acting very shady, after all this is like your passwords and bank statements, and mobile phone please?

If he refuses I'm afraid you have your answer.

Has he been on the missing list at all? Late home? Overtime? Night with 'the lads' anything like that?

femin Sat 06-Sep-14 16:10:28

Liberal, apparently the most popular time for married men to visit prostituted women is on their way to work, or at lunchtime when at work.

Joysmum Sat 06-Sep-14 16:33:38

Has he switched off the pop up blocker on the iPad, you can check under settings. If the pop up blocker isn't switched off then he can have got pop ups and would have been searching.

WorkingGirlJem Sat 06-Sep-14 18:16:44

I hope it's not what you suspect op, however just a quick mention - most Escort websites don't require you to make an account in order to view the escorts or book an appointment. So an account is unlikely to show up on his emails.

Also escorts only take cash as a method of payment, and most the sites we use to advertise don't cost anything for the men to browse, so bank statements might not show anything either.

Cash withdrawals made on the way to or from work are a clue. If he is clever he will take it in 2 or 3 lots over previous days so you don't notice a large withdrawal.

His mobile's log history is your best bet as virtually all my clients ring me rather than book on my website so there is no trail.

IUsedToUseMyHands Sat 06-Sep-14 18:19:04

Jem that's helpful to know, thank you!

WorkingGirlJem Sat 06-Sep-14 18:35:51

You are welcome.

The extents these men go to to cover their tracks blows my mind.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 Sat 06-Sep-14 20:18:10

Men who visit prostitutes may also use a separate phone to arrange visits.

WorkingGirlJem Sat 06-Sep-14 20:36:47

Thats true, and possible NK346f2849X12
However ime they don't usually bother as unlike an affair, there is no chance that the escort will contact them unexpectedly.

Applez Sat 06-Sep-14 21:26:12

I can't talk to anyone as I'm so afraid of what they will think, I'm finding it difficult to make sense of it all in my own head.
If someone asked me I'd say that he is the last person that I'd think would cheat.
We have lots of issues in the past and ups and downs but I thought we were in a very happy place.
He said that he was basically having a wank looked up some porn and that the ads came up along the right hand side of the screen and he clicked on them out of curiosity any hoping to see more images.
He works away from home so I can't test the location thing.
But all the sites were escorts in local area, massage in local area, it would have been early in the morning before he went to work.
I just don't know what to think and feel so alone.

s88 Sat 06-Sep-14 21:28:54

settings - safari - advanced settings - show all website data .

shows you all the websites viewed even after the history has been deleted !

Applez Sat 06-Sep-14 21:36:12

I tried that s88, but it's all gone sad

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