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Why don't I seem to attract men of my own age?

(31 Posts)
CillaBlacksOrangeBouffant Mon 01-Sep-14 21:46:39

I'm 45. Last three partners have been 23 blush 30 and 33 and now I have a 29 year old expressing a strong interest.

It's very nice, and I don't have an issue with it per se, I have my own house etc, grown up children and not interested in having more. Not particularly looking for a relationship either. I've been single for three years now so it's not that I'm being seen out and about with young beaus.

I don't dress provocatively, I don't go clubbing or anything like that.. I'm flattered but baffled.

getthefeckouttahere Mon 01-Sep-14 21:47:40

Because you're super hot obviously!!!

kaykayblue Mon 01-Sep-14 21:51:58

Maybe they are attracted to your confidence and wisdom ;)

Be careful that you don't end up attracting idiotic man children who expect you to finance/mother them, though!

CillaBlacksOrangeBouffant Mon 01-Sep-14 22:02:56

I wish that was the case getthefeck grin I'm very average, slightly chunky, bit scruffy but I can scrub up ok if I really try hard, which is getting rarer and rarer these days cos it's takes so long. Fat ankles etc..

Kaykay.. that's the thing, they don't seem to. Decent jobs, solvent etc. It's great fun and I'm not complaining but I do find it strange.
I'm not especially confident or wise.. I am friendly I suppose but that's it. I've met them all in rl, not via OD or anything like that (I'm far too chicken to try those sites)

cece Mon 01-Sep-14 22:22:34

Is this a stealth boast?

envy envy envy

TDada Mon 01-Sep-14 22:49:48

Go girl.

CillaBlacksOrangeBouffant Tue 02-Sep-14 01:25:28

Not a stealth boast at all. Just that the most recent one popped round earlier for a coffee and it got me thinking.

I really like this one but he's a friend of my ds who I think will disapprove.

CillaBlacksOrangeBouffant Tue 02-Sep-14 01:34:27

Thinking about it I've never had a partner of my own age. Exh was 25 years older and then these younger ones.

I've only had 4 men my whole life. I'm just slightly puzzled about the age gaps

MysteryMan1 Tue 02-Sep-14 04:23:15

Nothing wrong with that. I am far more attracted to older women than those my own age. Definitely to do with confidence and maturity..

niceupthedance Tue 02-Sep-14 07:11:07

I've only dated people younger than 35, i find older men boring. Maybe men your own age are looking for younger women?

ravenmum Tue 02-Sep-14 07:49:01

This is interesting as I was chatting to a friend the same age as you who says that if she just wants some fun, she finds it pretty easy to go out and pick up young men, in particular. I wonder if it is the "just wanting some fun" that's the key point? A 30-year-old woman is more likely to be looking out for a potential dad for her children than a 45-year-old, after all.

kaykayblue Tue 02-Sep-14 07:59:25

I would definitely counsel against dating someone who is a friend of your child.

It just screams "way too complicated"

HappyGirlNow Tue 02-Sep-14 08:48:44

Maybe they think it's easier to get sex from omeone older than someone their own age? Not saying that's it, just speculating!

Or maybe they just like older women..

Lucylloyd13 Tue 02-Sep-14 08:56:58

Young men will always spot an easy lay. Perhaps you like the lack of pressure that a young man offers?

HumblePieMonster Tue 02-Sep-14 08:59:41

Just go with it. I'm 56. I have interest from 51, 42, 40, 29... I'm too messed up to take advantage of these, but if you can cope with relationships, why not just enjoy?

And no-one on this earth could say I'm an 'easy lay'. So its not that. [smirks quietly]

bigTillyMint Tue 02-Sep-14 09:02:49

What is there not to like - older men, meh!

You must have something about you to have attracted them - don't put yourself down.

Having said that, dating a friend of your DS might be a bit too complicated.

ravenmum Tue 02-Sep-14 09:17:09

Who says the OP is an easy lay? Or are all 45-year-old women meant to be desperate for anyone who'll hop in the sack with them, so shrivelled that they are?

springydaffs Tue 02-Sep-14 09:37:20

Hear hear raven!

Scarletohello Tue 02-Sep-14 09:44:37

As I've got older I've been pleasantly surprised that younger men have been interested in me. They all say it's the confidence and experience they find attractive. Most men my own age (48) are either married, looking for younger women or a bit odd. Enjoy it! smile

hellsbellsmelons Tue 02-Sep-14 09:57:53

I agree - enjoy it.
That happened to me a lot when I split with my ex.
I did finally find someone my own age and it's all good.
Enjoy the attention.

bakingaddict Tue 02-Sep-14 10:17:00

Probably because younger men have less baggage than older men with ex-wives and kids to consider. I assume that maybe the men in their 20's and early 30's you are encountering have no ties to anybody and can enjoy making the most of opportunities that come their way.

I am not saying that you are desperate and gagging for it or giving of weird signals , far from it, just that it's a natural thing when two consenting adults find themselves enjoying each other's company without huge expectations such as long-term relationships, marriage or kids

Fabulassie Tue 02-Sep-14 10:22:14

I'm your age and have experienced the same thing. Men in their 20's seem to fancy me quite a lot. Do they think I'm an easy lay? I don't know. If by "easy" you mean "doesn't want a bunch of drama, has her own busy life and can keep herself entertained when not with you" is easy, then yeah.

Also, there is nothing stealthy about my boasting. I'm hot and I'm not going to put on false modesty about it. ;)

CillaBlacksOrangeBouffant Tue 02-Sep-14 10:24:04

Nope, I'm definitely not an easy lay, been on my own for three years and not been looking at all. Only slept with 4 men in my whole life.

None of them have been flings, all have turned into relationships of 8, 3 and 2 years respectively.

I don't need a man, I'm happy bumbling along on my own. My life is pretty sorted as it is so I can't be giving off desperation vibes.. I don't know what it is, as I said earlier, I'm not especially good looking, distinctly average in fact.
I can't lie.. it is a nice ego boost but I've never ever been out with someone my own age.

He's more of an acquaintance of DS really than a friend but agree with Tilly, the potential for mess might be too big a risk. Pity though cos he's quite attractive.. amazing body cos he has a very physical job grin

Ho hum.

springydaffs Tue 02-Sep-14 10:24:25

Its finite though, and I'm not up for that as a dead cert! Not that this is about me but i have similar experiences - I don't even meet available men my age: as scarlet says, they're all/mostly 'taken'. Yy some young men may not want children but the majority do. That boat has sailed for me.

CillaBlacksOrangeBouffant Tue 02-Sep-14 10:25:32

Oops cross posted..

yes fabulassie, I think you might have hit the nail on the head. No drama and no neediness.

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