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Am I being over sensitive or am I being taken for granted??

(17 Posts)
Lightanddark Thu 28-Aug-14 20:39:26

Ok background is I have been seeing my boyfriend for 7 months. We are quite close, have fun and nice laughs together. Been on a nice holiday and generally get on well. We live separately but see eachother normally 2 evenings a week and again at the weekend. This is dependant upon what shifts I have for the week, so the evenings we see eachother vary and lately I've worked most weekends but have finished mid afternoon Saturday and back in Sunday afternoon so we will see eachother Saturday.

This weekend however he said he hadn't seen his mate in a while and what was I working because he was thinking of arranging a night out. I said I was an early on Saturday and he said ok I will do it when you are on a late. I said no it's fine go out if you want you don't need to wait till I'm working late. I was a bit surprised when he said ok then I had actually expected him to say he would prefer to see me. Then this evening he rang me and we were chatting when his landline rang and he said it was his mate arranging Saturday. He wanted me to get off the phone so he could talk to him.

I feel somewhat taken for granted, what have I done wrong? Have I made myself too available? Or am I totally over reacting here bearing in mind there are no other issues in the relationship and he treats me well

TalisaMaegyr Thu 28-Aug-14 20:41:45

hmm Are you serious? You begrudge him ONE night out in 7 months?

Sunna Thu 28-Aug-14 20:42:56

You are being over sensitive.

Preciousbane Thu 28-Aug-14 20:43:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iklboo Thu 28-Aug-14 20:44:56

You said you were fine with him going out, but are upset he took you at your word?

RatherBeRiding Thu 28-Aug-14 20:45:51

You offered - "it's fine - you go out - don't wait till I'm on a late" AFTER he'd offered to see his mate a different day. What exactly has the poor bloke done wrong here??

dreamingbohemian Thu 28-Aug-14 20:45:57

Hmm I think you are overreacting -- you did tell him it was okay, if you didn't mean it you shouldn't say it.

I don't think relatively newish partners should always take precedence over friends... wanting to see a mate doesn't really indicate anything about how he feels about you.

pictish Thu 28-Aug-14 20:46:23

You're being over sensitive.

tryingtocatchthewind Thu 28-Aug-14 20:47:20

Yup definitely over sensitive, he's allowed a Saturday night out with mates and is no slight on how he feels about you.

stardusty5 Thu 28-Aug-14 20:48:00

You are being oversensitive, and you need to say what you really mean. He was the one who suggested avoiding your nights off and you told him to go ahead. What was he supposed to do?

Cantbelievethisishappening Thu 28-Aug-14 20:49:00

You are totally over reacting and sound like hard work. Chill out or you will scare the bejesus out of him.
Poor guy.

scarletforya Thu 28-Aug-14 20:50:13

Woah! Loosen the leash Op. Don't show him the crazy!

You said it was fine. You shouldn't have said that if you didn't mean it!

Lightanddark Thu 28-Aug-14 21:05:55

Thank you for your replies and showing me that, yes I AM being a bit nutty here. Just for the record it's not his first night out in seven months but still point taken, it's me not him. Hope I haven't done major damage but I will chill out. Not trying to make excuses for myself here but I think part of the reason I'm sometimes like this is hormone chaos due to approaching menopause.

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 28-Aug-14 21:06:11

I said no it's fine go out if you want you don't need to wait till I'm working late. I was a bit surprised when he said ok

Lol - not quite sure what you were expecting. 'Oh no, I can't ever go out without you again dear'.

Now that would be a red flag.

Lightanddark Sat 30-Aug-14 19:12:01

When he said ok I will go out when your working late, it was said in a disappointed tone so really I knew he wanted to go tonight and I felt I had to say it was fine and not make him wait until I was working late

I think it also worries me because he always has to go out and drink LOADS. He's not some young lad but in his late forties and I find this a bit odd really. Anyway he has gone tonight and I'm sitting in alone. I probably need to make myself less available but I don't really want to take a step back after 7 months because it's difficult enough arranging to see eachother around my shifts.

I'm feeling really down but not quite sure why

BobPatandIgglePiggle Sat 30-Aug-14 19:25:09

You're being way over the top - he can go out when he likes! Not sure why you're bothered what he drinks -if yyou sodon't live together you won't see him drunk!

Lightanddark Sat 30-Aug-14 19:33:45

I know he can go out when he likes. I'm not saying he can't, I'm saying for some reason I don't like the way I feel about it. I suppose the reason I'm bothered about the drinking is because he's still a bit of an unknown quantity to me but it's looking as though we both want the relationship to be long term and I'm not sure how much he drinks or if that could be a problem iyswim. I personally have not had a partner who drinks a lot before

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