Hes still being a dick.
Its somewhat infuriating as we separated nearly 6 years ago. He is re married and has a baby on the way, you would have thought he might have better things to do with his time.
This comes off the back of him ruining half of DD's wardrobe. He had her for 2 weeks, i sent most of her wardrobe. It came back mostly dyed black, or grey, or sludge colour. He confessed to two items and said he would pay for them, i kept finding more and more as we unpacked the bags, sent him photo evidence. Since then he has declared the following:
- there is nothing wrong with any of the clothes
- the clothes came to him in that condition
- The clothes never came to him, he never saw them
DD is upset as they are her fav items, she saw what happened.
I have tried explaining that any person who cared, let along father, would say sorry to her and replace the items. Hes blaming me for DD being upset, he cant understand that shes nearly 9, not 2, shes going to be upset, its her stuff, it means a lot to her.
So, i got a ton of abuse about how its my fault, how im a shit parent, how he cant wait till dd is older and can pick to live with him, and a ton of emotional abuse.
Also, he had dd for whole weeks, spanning 2 weekends. Im now off work and have DD for two weeks. I work sundays, so this is a sunday off ( coming up) and about my second sunday off in a whole year as i work them and save my holiday days to cover school holidays. Anyway, he phones up and said he wants to take DD to drayton manor, and camping for 2 nights, can he have her this weekend. I explain no, its my weekend off, i cant change it and it was booked in January. He pushes it, so i think, ok, it will be nice for DD, ask DD what she wants to do, and say yes. He tells me not to say to DD, after i had told her and asked her what she wanted to do. Turns out he was lying, no intention of taking her away, and thats why he didnt want me to say, so she didnt know.
I have said he can no longer have her since hes not taking her away and we will go back to it being my weekend. He cant make the following weekend due to work, but thats not my issue.
Again, ive been called all names under the sun, shit thrown at me.
Im just so tired of it all. He says one thing, does another. Cant see how anything he does effects DD and just uses it as sticks to beat me with. DD was upset the other week and said she hates going to his, that she can stand a weekend but no longer, and only likes it if they are going somewhere.
I just feel like im stuck, if solve the issue for me, by not sending DD with clothes, i feel like she suffers, which is awful and not fair on her at all. But i cant afford to keep replacing stuff hes trashing. I dont know why he keeps lying about stuff, though he was a compulsive liar when we were married, but its been so long, why? whats the point?
Its like he cant see DD as a person, just an object, he cant recognise she has her own thoughts and feelings and if she voices anything, then its my fault as i must be brainwashing her. It of course cant be that he doesnt treat her like a person. DD has no relationship with him, she cant talk to him about anything, she says this regulary. Its sad. She was upset the other week as apparently he had been telling her she has no sense of humour and doesnt understand jokes made at her expense.
anyway, its 6 years down the line, DD is coming up for 9, we have years ahead of this, in fact i can only see it getting worse as she gets older. Anyone have any tips?