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new BFs rude friend

(101 Posts)
Odessa88 Wed 27-Aug-14 15:18:04

sorry I post here a lot-only place I get any sense!
long story short.....I have a new SO. was going great 4 a few months and went to meet his friends at a party. They were all intoxicated and I was sober.
One girl in particular who he says is his best friend, wouldn't shake my hand, ignored me then stated I was chubby and a head case.
I don't know why because I was pleasant and everyone else was lovely, and they were clearly embarrassed when it happened. My SO started laughing (he was drunk too), but later told her (in the biggest display of kiss assing and flowery language not to do it again).
its early days and i don't know if i can be bothered with this. She never apologised and he just makes excuses and says i should give her a chance and wants us to hang out again.
Any advice???? x

HumblePieMonster Wed 27-Aug-14 15:22:49

Ditch him, make her happy.

AbbieHoffmansAfro Wed 27-Aug-14 15:23:49

I would have one go at getting to the bottom of it I think, by having a direct conversation with him about what on earth is going on, and why he laughed/kissed arse etc instead of taking her to task. Anything less than a good explanation and a genuine apology would have me moving on.

AlpacaMyBags Wed 27-Aug-14 15:24:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedRoom Wed 27-Aug-14 15:24:57

People usually choose friends in their own mould. He laughed and did nothing to support you when he witnessed her do three separate and equally rude things: criticise your weight, refuse to shake your hand and ignore you. I'd be disgusted if a friend did that to someone I was seeing. He had the chance to pull her up on it and was an utter wimp. Is he a man or a mouse?

Odessa88 Wed 27-Aug-14 15:25:59

Only explanation was...that's just what she's like...

MarchEliza Wed 27-Aug-14 15:26:51

You poor thing - that's incredibly rude and unpleasant. She sounds like a horrible cow who is probably very jealous that another female has come and and taken his attention away from her.

I remember feeling a bit like this when some of my close male friends started seeing girls, but then I was 14 at the time and I would never have been that rude.

I don't blame you for giving serious thought as to whether you want to put up with this on a more long term basis. It might be worth seeing how she behaves in the future (maybe put it down to alcohol and give her a one-time pass) and then maybe talking to him about it.

When you say he told her 'in the biggest display of kiss assing and flowery language' not to do it again - was he kissing your ass or hers? If hers it suggests that he is a bit frightened of her tbh...

Waltermittythesequel Wed 27-Aug-14 15:27:07

How long are you seeing him?

I think you could do without this if it's new! Plenty more fish and all that.

doorbellringer Wed 27-Aug-14 15:27:15

Ditch him and tell him why.

Odessa88 Wed 27-Aug-14 15:27:34

There was just a lot of ass kissing followed by a please don't say things like that. I was angry as he'll he laughed. I just don't know if i have time for this girls/their friendship drama.

Ivehearditallnow Wed 27-Aug-14 15:28:41

She fancies him.

He should have defended you.

Next! Hope you find a nice one with nice mates xx

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Wed 27-Aug-14 15:29:09

She's not entitled to "a chance". She's already told you everything you need to know about her, and quite a lot about her relationship with him. She is one person I would not be willing to hang out with, ever. He's not been loyal to you and that's a deal-breaker as far as I'm concerned.

I'd ditch him

Odessa88 Wed 27-Aug-14 15:29:23

We've only been together a few months. no he kissed her ass not mine! Ha. telling her oh yr my best mate I have such a good night blahblah

Alphabollocks Wed 27-Aug-14 15:31:16

What does SO stand for? How old was she? Sounds a bit immature. I would be inclined to move on.

Waltermittythesequel Wed 27-Aug-14 15:31:48

Oh, god. Dump him and tell him why and don't fall for any bullshit excuses!

SisterNancySinatra Wed 27-Aug-14 15:36:06

Sounds like he may be using you as a way of making this other woman jealous and getting her to show her true feelings toward him, sounds like American Romcom stuff to be fair, you may not exactly be the centre of he's attention.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Wed 27-Aug-14 15:38:59

SO = Significant Other

In this context new man is not significant, or he shouldn't be for much longer.
Too much baggage, too much drameh

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 27-Aug-14 15:41:35

'Judge a man by the company he keeps'. LTB & hold out for someone who is more of a gentleman.

daphnehoneybutt Wed 27-Aug-14 15:41:58

She's a nasty bitch who fancies him. He laughed? I would have walked out.

Would be too much drama for me, I'd leave them to it.

Odessa88 Wed 27-Aug-14 15:45:19

We are 34, 37 and 38 so not kids although it sounds like it!

gamerchick Wed 27-Aug-14 15:46:37

Nothing good comes out of being with somebody who won't defend you in these situations. If you had been my husband I would have had my friends arse on a plate for doing that.

Tell him you gave her a chance and she was a knob and you're not inclined on giving her another one.

Unless you want to put her up against the wall and snarl in her face to piss on your patch, which frankly is just too much effort.

RedRoom Wed 27-Aug-14 16:23:19

Oh good lord. It is so ridiculous that I actually thought you would all be 18 to early 20s, max! I'm sorry! Look, if he's 34-38 and still thinks his friend calling his girlfriend chubby is a larf then he can piss off.

Waltermittythesequel Wed 27-Aug-14 17:10:52

I agree with PP.

He's not a Significant Other, he's an insignificant twat!

AnyFucker Wed 27-Aug-14 17:16:15

I am sure you could do better than attaching yourself to a group of tossers like this

AskBasil Wed 27-Aug-14 17:17:34

Oh just dump him.

Why bother really.

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