I'm in a somewhat on off relationship where partner wants more commitment and to move in with me. This hasn't happened as we have had several nasty break ups . He often seems to hate me and goes into a cycle of nastiness which he justifies as he has something from my past which he has used again and again.
Most recently we were on holiday together and had a row. The upshot was he told me there was no point being with me, I was a liar and a cheat and would never change, I had conned him into a relationship by telling him what he wanted to hear, I didn't want the things he wanted and If I got into another relationship I should inform the person that I had no time for them as a single mum. He then left, just walked off the holiday.
I texted and called saying this is silly and offered to pick him up at the station. He replied I was an entitled asshole and he didn't want to hear from me.
What I want to check is that, in the above circumstances, would you feel that you had been dumped? Because a few days later he started communicating normally and complaining I hadn't been in touch as I was "punishing" him and I was pathetic. He went on to tell me I was entitled etc and by taking offence at being told so, I am not "allowing" him an opinion.
I feel like he split up with me (again) and now is playing the injured party. He also totally justified everything he said. I am a button-pusher I had "gone on" at him to get a reaction and then I got one. He is moody and says I must take responsibility for his moods as I cause them with my lack of communication.
He continued this train and I refused to take responsibility or back down in any way, playing hard ball until he said i should stop wasting our lives and dump him, so I did.
Immediate capitulation, he takes full responsibility for everything he said and is very sorry.
Basically, everything gets so mixed up I want to get it straight in my head starting from the point, if someone walks off you holiday after that conversation, would you feel they had ended the relationship?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Reality check
Cherub1066 · 27/08/2014 08:47
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