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Desparately need my maiden name back - any advice?

(96 Posts)
handfulofcottonbuds Sun 24-Aug-14 13:32:38

I'm going through a divorce at the moment and for some reason my FWH is dragging his heels and making the process longer than it needs to be!

I don't get it, he is living with OW, has been for almost a year now. Has a beautiful rented house in an elite area and seems to have everything. Yet he is still pleading poverty and delaying any financial resolution and refusing to answer any questions, instead asking more stupid questions such as has my son got special needs! He brought him up for 11 years!! He's playing nasty.

Anyway, all this is setting me back and although I wanted to change back to my maiden name as part of my divorce, I am now desperate to have MY name back now for my own sanity.

Does anyone know how I go about it? My legal bills are through the roof as it is and I just want it done in the simplest way.

Thank you

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 24-Aug-14 13:35:56

I think there's nothing to stop you changing it back now. Get in touch with all relevant parties, tell them it is reverting to your original name and see if they need any documentation. As your married name is really just a courtesy arrangement, I think the most you'll be asked to provide is a copy of your birth certificate.

MrsPresley Sun 24-Aug-14 13:36:34

Not sure but I think you just start calling yourself Ms Smith for example.

Notify everyone that you have to, like bank, work etc apply for new driving licence etc

As long as you don't intend to commit fraud, I think you can call yourself anything you want.

however Sun 24-Aug-14 13:37:23

I think you can simply start using it again, freely, without any formalities.

To change official documents - passports and the like - you need to go through the deed poll process. But a good start would be to simply instruct your solicitor to address you by your maiden name and enjoy the satisfaction it brings when she sends you documents addressed as such!

Floccinaucinihilipilificate Sun 24-Aug-14 13:38:42

My friend found it wasn't as simple as telling everyone it had changed. She had to change her name by deed poll.

Happyringo Sun 24-Aug-14 13:40:41

It's very easy. I just told everyone (work, bank, driving licence etc) by letter that I was reverting to my maiden name, enclosed a copy of my birth certificate, and that was it job done.

handfulofcottonbuds Sun 24-Aug-14 13:48:38

Thank you for the quick replies.

I have tried telling companies and providing my birth certificate but then they want my marriage certificate as well. My telephone provider as an example! I said I am going through a divorce and don't have my marriage certificate anymore but they insisted that no change could be made without that! I don't have it

Strangely enough, my FWH never changed my name to my married name on the mortgage - something telling there!

JamaicanMeCrazy Sun 24-Aug-14 13:52:51

Go to your local registry office and request a copy, should cost around £15

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 24-Aug-14 13:54:13

Why not just get it changed by deed poll and be done with it?

mumblechum1 Sun 24-Aug-14 13:57:31

Just do a change of name deed. I used to charge about £40 but you can do it online for less. If you need me or one of the other legal bods to check the wording, cut & paste it and we'll advise smile

Caorunn Sun 24-Aug-14 13:58:22

Online deed poll £20ish - including some copies. And off you go. The deed poll isn't legally necessary but as you have discovered it can be an utter pain without it.

Littleturkish Sun 24-Aug-14 13:58:42

You don't have to pay anything! Just switch back to using it. Contact all companies and let them know.

handfulofcottonbuds Sun 24-Aug-14 14:01:00

Thank you so much. I thought I had to go through my solicitor and do it as part of my divorce. I'm reading up on the Deed Poll website now.

The only thing is I renewed my passport last year so that will be another £70+ to change but nevermind.

I feel I need MY identity back as it isn't good for my sanity to be linked with someone so nasty.

You've all been really helpful thanks

Littleturkish Sun 24-Aug-14 14:02:34

Sorry huge x post.

That's really poor. Pretty sure you can call yourself what you want. So tempting to leave and open new accounts with different companies!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Sun 24-Aug-14 14:11:48

You don't lose your name on marriage. I'd be moving my phone business elsewhere if any company tried to say I didn't have the right to use my own name. Twats.

handfulofcottonbuds Sun 24-Aug-14 14:22:20

It was a new company but because my bank card had my married name, they wouldn't listen and refused to take me on unless I showed my marriage certificate! I tried explaining that when you start divorce proceedings, the certificate gets taken off you but they wouldn't listen and said they wouldn't open a phone account with me. I felt terrible!

alphabook Sun 24-Aug-14 14:30:22

As far as I'm aware it's not as simple as just telling everyone you're reverting back to your maiden name, it has to be done legally. Deed poll is probably the easiest way at this point.

pregnantpause Sun 24-Aug-14 14:32:53

I am about to deed poll my name back to my name- after NEVER changing to married name except on one bank account and in the doctors. My passport, driving license, mortgage, utilities were never changed as I decided I didn't want his name.

The doctors surgery won't change it backconfused I've taken my passport and driving license( issued two years after I was married), explained that I didn't formally take his name, but they insist that my marriage certificate was legally binding and as I'm married I have to have his name, they can't change it without deed poll. angry I'm sure it's bollocks given all of the documents/ Id I have offered them, but for an easy life, I'm deed pollinghmm

nomoretether Sun 24-Aug-14 14:35:50

I used this site. No quibbles from passport office, DVLA, banks, doctors etc.

indiaaah Sun 24-Aug-14 14:36:16

You have to go through deed poll and pay £40. Money well spent! I can't remember if the divorce has to be final or not but I don't see why you should have to wait. I've had my maiden name back around 4 years now and I feel like I am ME again!

handfulofcottonbuds Sun 24-Aug-14 15:16:52

pregnantpause - that's terrible. It's the way we have to explain our private situation to some stranger that upsets me most.

I don't see why you should have to wait. I've had my maiden name back around 4 years now and I feel like I am ME again!

That's exactly it indiaaah. I have been quite indifferent to waiting for my name to be changed as part of my divorce but now I cannot wait. It isn't helping my MH to be associated with a name that has no bearing on me or my life. It might even send stbxh a message that I am serious and don't want to have his name anymore - although that's not the main reason, I need to be ME!!

Thanks for all your advice.

pebblestack Sun 24-Aug-14 15:28:55

You don't need a deed poll.

Just request another marriage certificate -there isn't just one copy issued when you marry and that's it, you can request one at any time and have as many as you like. I have three - one of which is with my solicitor.

For your passport you just need to write a statement saying you've reverted to your maiden name for all purposes, and apply for change to your passport through the normal channels.

FreudianGymSlip Sun 24-Aug-14 15:50:33

I did it by deed poll because I wanted it cut and dried. I elected a date from which I wanted my name to change and voila, on the day of my decree nisi I was no longer Ms X.

Notexactlymarthastewart Sun 24-Aug-14 16:10:02

Hi. Just what pebble said.

I did it very early on and got my lawyer to draft a letter confirming the legal date of separation and most companies were happy with that. Some didn't even want copies of birth/marriage certificate as I have been customer prior to marriage so they could see that was my original own name.

There were one or two things like passport so I have just hung onto married name on those but will change as soon as divorce is finalised - don't use passport much anyway!!

MrsWones Sun 24-Aug-14 16:18:00

I did it by deed poll on line. If memory serves it cost me £10 or £20 and was very easy. And everywhere accepted it. smile smile

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