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I need to go!!

(15 Posts)
Mini05 Sun 24-Aug-14 00:11:49

Another arguement tonight or trivial thing

Not to make it long winded

Son 24 (mine) went to friends on pedal bike, all night he's been saying what times he coming back??? I don't know(god he's 24 I never said this) then again about 9.30 don't you think you better text him ask when he's coming home!!!
Son text said he was having few drinks and would be home later

So fast forward it's now 11.30 son not in(so)
DP just said "have I got to leave keys out" no don't think so
Well don't put them on my car(his pride nobody can touch)
And if he better not put that bike round side of house(passing his pride)
If he scratches it I go f... Mad raising his voice loud shouting
I said don't speak to me like that!!
Well I'm telling you that's a prestige car, and I'll go f.... Mad
I'm trying to keep calm now, don't speak to me like that have some respect for me
So then I say oh that's it, to which he replys you won't f... Get me out of this house no f... Chance I own half
I then say what you on about, to which he replys f... You f... You

We seems to go couple weeks then something trival crops up and it's the same thing. F... You. Do it then

How can my DP love me when he speaks to me like this, don't get me wrong I don't just sit and take it! I will argue my point.
After an arguement nothing gets sorted anymore, his attitude is leave it!!
Sweeps it under the carpet.
I think over time 11 years living together I realised he has to have it his way! More so just recently.

So question is now,
If he won't go how the heck do I get to either say in the house or get to sell it?????

This now will lead to him stonewalling me for days!!!
Can't take this anymore!!

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint Sun 24-Aug-14 00:17:49

Probably best to get a free half hour appointment with a solicitor and explore all your options.

BlackDaisies Sun 24-Aug-14 00:27:01

Yes, agree with PP. Explore your options - that's no way to live.

Mini05 Sun 24-Aug-14 00:49:27

I know where I stand regarding what I get if sold! As I did this months ago when we went through the same thing.
But now he saying you won't get me out of here!! Plus I havnt got finances to pay him his share now about 35k plus the mortgage. I am on esa to to sickness long term

I'm so angry with myself as I owned my own house( which was a very low mortgage £120 mth) 3 bed semi which would of been paid for 6 years ago !

Really f... Up this time, I could cry my eyes out what have I done.

BlackDaisies Sun 24-Aug-14 00:56:41

What did the solicitor say months ago?

Mini05 Sun 24-Aug-14 09:08:20

Well not much sleep last night! Also I slept in spare room, I was to angry to get into ours.
Things going around my head all night, do I really need this? I deserve better? Can't go on like like every few weeks something trival turns into resentment arguements.

Thing is now, how do I carry on?
Do I still cook for him etc? Or just for me and son, is this playing into his hands so he can call me more?
He as gone to tennis now, I expect when he comes back it will be silence!

When I got solicitors advice she told me I would get the money back I put down as deposit 78k then we pay mortgage back 55k owing and then we split what's left between us 50/50

God I feel sick,scared and peed off.

IthoughtATMwasacashpoint Sun 24-Aug-14 11:01:22

Time to it down when you feel a bit calmer and work out what's right for you.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sun 24-Aug-14 11:06:51

Is he your partner rather than your husband?

This splitting of equity in the property you co-own: was there a Deed of Trust drawn up when you bought it?

Mini05 Sun 24-Aug-14 11:21:11

Yes partner of 13 years living together 11 years

Also yes we co own the property, with a deed of trust!

He's come back from tennis now and hasn't spoke! Just want I've got I installed for me all day. God I hates atmospheres! Feel like I'm not in my own home. I could go out but I'm really not in the right place for socialising or shopping, but got to nip to sainsburys later for few bits.

tipsytrifle Sun 24-Aug-14 12:18:15

ohhh Mini what an awful situation. I have no immediate practical advice but think you're half way out the door no matter what and I'm sure your enormous spirit will lead your way.

I don't understand or know about the property details but there will be a way out ...

Mini05 Sun 24-Aug-14 13:09:27

Well got called for not telling him son had breakfast at friends! And he'd put bacon under grill for them both so I could of f..... Told him he'd eaten.

He's gone out now and prob will be back about 4 ish for his tea, asked for money to pick up few bits half each money ran out in joint for food till end of month so halving everything food wise till then. He just won't put more in joint each! To cover shortfall food wise.
I owed him a £1 yesterday( I would of if me never even thought about it) but I know him didn't have change so gave him £5 to be given £4 back! Just to give you idea of money.

I also told him when he comes back we need to talk, his reaction was to be shouted at! Wtf it was he who shouted at me last night( but it's ok for him to raise his voice) I said if we need to sort it out if not it's make or break
With that he's gone out.

So I don't know how to handle this, because if he starts and I don't agree with him it gets no further. Then leads to raised voices!
I must try and stay calm( easy said)

Trying to eat but feel sick to pit of stomach

43percentburnt Sun 24-Aug-14 13:16:35

Hi op. Speak to your solicitor, you can force a house sale. Look on right move, what can you get for your money?

43percentburnt Sun 24-Aug-14 13:16:36

Hi op. Speak to your solicitor, you can force a house sale. Look on right move, what can you get for your money?

Gfplux Sun 24-Aug-14 13:29:30

Your relationship has broken down so treat it as such.
Tell him it is over. Then ask him what you can do together to bring it to a sensible end.
I know it sounds too civilised but that is how you should play your card.

Castlemilk Sun 24-Aug-14 13:37:26

You're just going to have to force a sale. Go to solicitors, get ball rolling. Don't cook or do anything else for him. Don't move out, you will NEVER get the house sold if you do as he will refuse viewings/turn it into a dump.

When he calms down and sees you are serious, he will wheedle. Calmly tell him it's over, and his best bet is to cooperate with the house sale asap so you can get on with your lives.

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