I'll try and keep this short. It's not really my business, I'm just wondering if MN has trained my radar, and if so if there's anything I can do to help. Probably not as not my business but still...
DP has a best friend, I'll call him Dan. He's a lovely friendly guy, really funny, kind, good at impressions, into sport, always up for a laugh. The sort of guy who often gets followers iykwim.
He currently has a follower I'll call Adam.
Adam is a fairly normal, if slightly pathetic guy. The sort to do stupid things to impress the boys. The sort to probably make and laugh at sexist, homophobic and mildly racist jokes because they're 'banter'. So not the best specimen of a human, but nothing particularly standout evil either.
I'm wondering if Adam is EA. A couple of things make me think this:
Adam has a daughter who is ~5 who he never sees because his exgf won't let him. He's trying to take her to court to get access but has to save up £5kto do it, currently on £4k. Apparently the exgf gets legal aid which is SO unfair, even though she earns the same as him (I'd guess in the region of £20-£25k, poss as low as £18k but I doubt it). Legal aid in custody disputes means domestic abuse is involved??
Secondly Adam has a new girlfriend. They've been spending lots and lots of time together but only been together about 6 months, but Adam hasn't had time for anyone else for a bit. Dan hasn't particularly missed him DP saw Adam last night and apparently he was talking about how his new gf has gone a bit crazy recently. I don't think details were discussed, but she's being posessive, not giving him his freedom etc. On it's own I'd take this at face value, but paired with the legal aid / not allowed to see his daughter stuff I was wondering if this is typical EA stuff of him beginning to tighten the screws and his gf complaining, which he obv thinks is her being mad because he thinks he's in the right.
I can just imagine him being EA, he's a bit snivelling, a bit 'poor me'.
Dan is getting married in a few weeks so I'll see Adam again (only met him a couple of times) and also meet his gf. Just wondering - what are any signs I could look out for to see if their dynamic looks EA? I'm planning to try and talk to the gf, not in any way but just spend a bit of time with her and if I get the impression things aren't great do some very gentle suggestions to her about what a good relationship should be like. Just saying stuff assuming Adam is lovely to her so that if he isn't she'll maybe have a small jolt that things aren't right. Any tips what might be useful? Or should I absolutely 100% wind my neck in and leave well alone? Genuinely, I'm not really a busy body, just wondering what others would do. I will be looking after and bf my own DD so I won't get outrageously pissed and do something inappropriate thankfully!
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Relationships
Is he EA? Signs someone is in a EA relationship
KikiShack · 23/08/2014 08:01
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