For background - My parents divorced about fifteen years ago. DM has never got over it and still talks very bitterly about how ddad left her (and us) and how everything that has gone wrong with her life since then is his fault.
She has had serious issues with drinking which she overcame a few years ago (due to the fact that was hospitalised rather than being off her own back), but recently relapsed. She is working on getting through this. While drinking she phones DDad all the time and rants at him. Conversations with us (me and my dsis) are also not much fun as they tend to end in arguments.
Ddad is remarried (to the woman he had an affair with and left my DM for) and has another child. DM has not had another serious relationship since the divorce which she absolutely hates.
I got engaged to my DP a few months ago and since then have been debating what on earth to do with the wedding. We'd love to get married quietly abroad with just my dsis and a few of DP's family. However I feel very guilty for not wanting either of my parents at our wedding and wonder if in the long term I would regret this.
My DM is a complete drama queen and I'm fairly sure would say and/or do things which would stress me out and make the day about her. She is still my mum though and did raise us pretty much by herself and I think she would feel awful about not being invited. I get on really well with my Ddad and he has already said that we just need to do whatever makes us happy.
We would have a big party when we got back as we have a large family and really want to celebrate with them all (I just want the actual wedding wedding to be a quiet but lovely affair). I would invite DM and ddad to this as it would be fine with lots and lots of people around, and friends and family.
So I guess what I am asking is, if your family situation is similar to this, what did you do on your wedding day? Did it all turn out okay or did you regret whatever decision you made?
So as not to drip feed, we have recently found out that we are expecting another baby. We thought we would wait til after the baby was born to get married but actually, we are now seriously considering doing it before hand. This may mean we have to get married in the UK as I wouldn't be able to fly, but the same principles apply in terms of having a quiet wedding and big party afterwards (probably a while after baby arrived). So I have to also factor pregnancy hormones into my wedding plans! (Dm seriously stressed me out during my last pregnancy).
Sorry, this has turned out a bit rambly and I thought I was doing so well at being succinct - there's probably stuff I have missed out too! Any and all advice and opinions will be very gratefully received though. Thank you.
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Relationships
Did you have your (acrimoniously) divorced parents at your wedding? Can you tell me about it please?
pickwickcrocus · 22/08/2014 15:00
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