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What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

(64 Posts)
Mumof3xox Fri 08-Aug-14 18:25:16

"Dp" and I have been together 7.5 years. We have 3dc. We are due to be married in a years time.

Yet he still regresses every so often into an immature selfish little shit

Here I was thinking he has finally got past the going out and fucking us off as it hadn't happened for a while

But no. Here I am again. Absolutely livid and trying not to get upset infront of my dc

I just need to fuck him off perminantly don't I

Funny thing is, I don't want to hurt him!

Tiptops Fri 08-Aug-14 18:28:00

It isn't funny that you don't want to hurt him, you clearly have normal feelings of not wanting to cause upset to another human being. He on the other hand...

You deserve better.

Mumof3xox Fri 08-Aug-14 18:29:16

I know this

We have separated before. It follows a pattern. First he doesn't give a fuck. Then he is crying to me. I take pity. He make promises. Everything is rosey for a bit. And then back to this

Tiptops Fri 08-Aug-14 18:37:32

That must be such a wrench for you. I'm guessing it's like a roller coaster, periods of ups and downs constantly? Thing is, without him dragging you down every so often you could be on an even keel and enjoying life with your DC. I know you are trying to stay strong for their sake but they must sense an atmosphere; you and your DC could be free from that. It may not be easy but it will be worth it.

Mumof3xox Fri 08-Aug-14 18:40:10

In my heart I know that

In my head I feel stupid for having thought we had gotten past it

TalisaMaegyr Fri 08-Aug-14 19:35:07

Where is he? Is he supposed to be home?

Quitelikely Fri 08-Aug-14 19:37:05

Is it just going out drinking? How often is it?

Mumof3xox Fri 08-Aug-14 19:37:40

He's off taking the piss

He went out last night
Brought people back
Woke me up
Resulted in big row
Apologised this morning
I get in from work he has done fuck all house is a tip and he's out being a funny fucker with me and not knowing when he will return

TalisaMaegyr Fri 08-Aug-14 19:40:27

Oh no no. Bollocks to that. If you've been putting up with this for a long time, you are wasting your life. He doesn't seem to care about hurting you.

HeySoulSister Fri 08-Aug-14 19:40:50

He's not going to get any better with age.... He's a list cause op

Does he not work??

Mumof3xox Fri 08-Aug-14 19:41:29

It hasn't happened for a few months

I thought he was past it


Mumof3xox Fri 08-Aug-14 19:42:04

He works but odd hours and few hours but decent pay

HumblePieMonster Fri 08-Aug-14 19:54:23

Don't marry him - it will save you the cost of a divorce later.

Get rid if you can face it.

Mumof3xox Sat 09-Aug-14 06:50:30

I know I can't marry him

He never came home again last night

FlatCapAndAWhippet Sat 09-Aug-14 07:04:30

Im not normally one to say this but honestly, sack him off. You could be describing my ex hubby. It just gets too much in the end, its tiresome, irresponsible and is shitty disrespectful behaviour towards you.
He'll never change, really. Its a waste of your time and investment.
Sorry sad

FlatCapAndAWhippet Sat 09-Aug-14 07:07:52

I know the upheaval is awful to even contemplate but sometimes you're not really given too much of an option.

Mumof3xox Sat 09-Aug-14 07:09:44

I can't bare the thought of seeing his face

I hope he stays away today

IUsedToUseMyHands Sat 09-Aug-14 07:20:01

Do you guys own your home OP? Or have you got any other joint investments? If so, take some legal advice before walking away, particularly if you are financially dependent on him.

Mumof3xox Sat 09-Aug-14 07:24:11

We don't own no we rent

No joint investments

I am not financially dependent on him at all

IUsedToUseMyHands Sat 09-Aug-14 07:27:47

That simplifies things. It sounds like you want to leave - and it certainly sounds terrible - but at the very least, postpone the wedding if you are feeling this way, better yet cancel it.

Poycastle Sat 09-Aug-14 07:28:39

You know, often I get sad that I don't have a partner and then I read something like this.

Having been through this pattern sooo many times myself I must say it makes no difference if people keep telling you to leave and that it's not worth it etc

You need something major to happen/change that will be the catalyst to leave

I know for sure people never change, not in the long term anyway

I don't think any words will help, but sending you a hand hold x

Mumof3xox Sat 09-Aug-14 07:37:09

Thank you

It won't be me leaving

It will be him

tribpot Sat 09-Aug-14 07:42:06

Why would he change? Every time he puts on the puppy eyes you take him back and he knows he's got away with it til next time.

It doesn't sound like he has ever made a serious commitment to changing his ways, just he was sorry. I think you were on a hiding to nothing when you thought he had changed; it's only been a few months since last time.

Sounds like home life for your children will be calmer without him there.

Mumof3xox Sat 09-Aug-14 07:47:41

That is true

I just need to be strong in telling him

ThePinkOcelot Sat 09-Aug-14 08:14:11

Just pack all of his stuff in black bags and leave them outside fit him to collect. I wouldn't even let him back in the house. He won't change. He has shown you that.

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