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Lipstick on your collar - do people really smell perfume on their cheating H?

(68 Posts)
PittTheYounger Thu 07-Aug-14 22:29:26

Watching Ray Donovan and the wife susses him through scent.
Does this really happen in real life, or is it just dramatic license?

What other little tells have led you to conclude all might not be well? ( rather than the norm of new pants and taking your phone into the loo!)

PennyPepper Fri 15-Aug-14 11:10:30

Re condoms, my XH didn't use them with OW, because he 'trusted her'.

People having affairs are all kinds of deluded...

wohm Fri 15-Aug-14 11:05:18

It wasn't lipstick. It was my 6yo's pastels, and the day the shirt was last worn he was with me and my parents (and the pastels) all day. Nonetheless, my conclusion is either I'm naturally oversuspicious (not good) or I'm subconsciously aware that something might be up (not good), or both (really not good). thanks for your help.

ProfessorPickles Thu 14-Aug-14 21:59:17

I recently left my umbrella in a male friends car! I hope his wife didn't think anything along the lines of this, it was innocent shock

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 20:08:30

I think some want to be discovered. They think it will push the husband into leaving his wife?

ObfusKate Thu 14-Aug-14 20:05:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-Aug-14 19:58:29

Kate... that is a truly terrible song! grin

Wouldn't he be wearing a condom though? Also, somebody who is cheating long term would possibly have meetings at hotels with showers, etc.

I also can't think why an OW would be so silly as to mark her territory... it would mean discovery and the end of the affair, surely?

... that song is going around in my head now. I near ear-bleach! confused

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 14-Aug-14 19:40:26

Married male colleague at work who normally wore specs came in eyes red and watering, "Just trying out contact lenses".

He wasn't someone we thought was very interested in his appearance and for a laugh someone quipped,
"Aye aye, old X has got himself a bird".

And six weeks later turned out he had. She thought his frames weren't very flattering.

BerylStreep Thu 14-Aug-14 19:15:03

My cat smells of perfume. It's been going on for weeks now.

ObfusKate Thu 14-Aug-14 19:08:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 19:06:14

with Pink Umbrella Lady. shock

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 19:05:37

But when I asked him where the umbrella had come from - he denied knowing anything about it and said it must be mine.
If it was all above board why not just say ''oh, I gave so and so a lift the other morning - maybe SHE left it there''
But there was nothing. No explanation. So he obviously had something to hide.
And I was right. Two months later he admitted he was having an affair.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-Aug-14 19:02:41

I don't think an umbrella is territory-marking. I'm always leaving mine in every supplier's car I'm in. They're kept for me for next time I see them. It just doesn't strike me as an OW-thing particularly (perhaps because I'm not).

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 19:01:30

And the passenger seat was always too far forward. She must have had short legs.

sweetnessandlite Thu 14-Aug-14 19:00:13

My ex H was caught out by an umbrella of all things!

I found it under the passenger seat. It was bright pink and It wasn't mine. (I even asked all my female relations if it was theirs i^n case^he had given them lifts). It wasn't.

When he admitted the affair, it turned out it started as an EA, when he was giving OW lifts -- obviously in the rain-- to and from work and the silly mare left her umbrella on the floor in front of passenger seat and he failed to see it.

I've often wondered if it was intentional. Like a dog marking it's territory with crap and wee.

Scarletohello Thu 14-Aug-14 18:52:19

Found a blonde hair on the pillow on the bed. ( I was brunette). Him taking a sudden interest in learning Spanish ( a different woman). Asked him outright. He denied it. When we split up he wrote me a letter saying he had been unfaithful pretty much the whole 3 years we had been together. But blamed it in me as apparently he couldn't trust me. ( he was extremely jealous ). Twat.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 14-Aug-14 18:34:55

That does look like lipstick to me, wohm, lipstick that's not been freshly applied... or has been worn off for a bit. Sorry.

BeCool Thu 14-Aug-14 18:25:08

When I was 20 I used my bosses car for a work errand and my handbag fell on the floor. I unknowingly left a bottle of Rive Gauche (it was the 80's) behind.

He gave it back to me day asking if I was trying to get him divorced shock.

(In retrospect there were lots of constant rumours about him and his assistant who were "close" so maybe I did give him something to sweat about).

StealthPolarBear Thu 14-Aug-14 18:19:54

Oops sorry wohm. Difficult to see, not sure sorry

StealthPolarBear Thu 14-Aug-14 18:19:07

How does lipstick get om the collar anyway? Neck kissing?

wohm Thu 14-Aug-14 18:10:30

Hi. New to mumsnet - and what a start! I found this thread googling "lipstick on collar" because of the photo I'm attaching to this message. What do you think it is? Something to worry about? I could go on and on about our relationship, and about when he wore that shirt, but I'll stop there for now. thanks.

Eekaman Mon 11-Aug-14 09:53:50

Spud - I'd swear I know you, except I wasn't married when I was getting
presents accidentally left in my car smile

whatisforteamum Sat 09-Aug-14 09:06:18

My DH had a black eye after a night out and a huge hangover.Cross with his self pitying on the sofa i quizzed him about his eye.Hours later he admitted a bloke hit him..why because he shagged this blokes girlfriend in the pub car park !!! Knocked me for 6 as he was the quite type or so i thought.He said we werent married but we were engaged and had bought a house the yr before.

bikermouse1 Sat 09-Aug-14 06:21:58

A friend's oh rolled home 3.00ish, pretty drunk, couldn't get away- hellish day- non-stop meetings in the morning , business lunch, more meetings, settling new clients in their hotel, etc.etc., all the while dropping his clothes on the bedroom floor. Last thing off were his Y-fronts.

Which were on back to front

oaksettle Sat 09-Aug-14 00:47:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heathcliff27 Sat 09-Aug-14 00:39:16

My dad was having an affair years ago and came home with a tape of music he didn't normally listen to, it was the OW's fave tunes. He used to sit there listening to it with my mum knowing full well it was the OW's. He actually did a lot more than that, he made an absolute fool of my mum, arsehole that he is hmm

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