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Lipstick on your collar - do people really smell perfume on their cheating H?

(68 Posts)
PittTheYounger Thu 07-Aug-14 22:29:26

Watching Ray Donovan and the wife susses him through scent.
Does this really happen in real life, or is it just dramatic license?

What other little tells have led you to conclude all might not be well? ( rather than the norm of new pants and taking your phone into the loo!)

Deftones Fri 08-Aug-14 08:27:20

Cheating men think their wives are daft. I'm a keen observer of actions and behaviours, women usually are. We're not even aware of it 99% of the time, not until something is 'off' do we suddenly recognise behaviours that differ from the norm.

I've never been cheated on, but I can tell when something is not right, or if DP has something on his mind. When will these cheating twits learn that women are Fucking awesome at 'knowing'? Never, that's when cause it's so inbuilt in us.

Women are great for it grin

EarthWindFire Fri 08-Aug-14 08:32:33

My DP 'smelt' aftershave that wasn't his on his ex Wife's clothes sad

Bakersbum Fri 08-Aug-14 08:45:05

My exh started taking a shower every time he came home, picking fault at everything I did, his phone often had no reception, large mobile bills, hiding phone, I suspected and confronted but always denied, until ow contacted me and told me everything. Moved on now but will never forget that raw pain.

RuncibleSpoonandaRing Fri 08-Aug-14 09:51:26

I think you probably can smell someone else on your partner - my dp has commented before that I don't smell as I usually do when I've been hugging a male friend (totally innocently I'd like to point out).

PittTheYounger Fri 08-Aug-14 10:08:28

my mate knew her cat had been playing away when HE smelled of someone else, so I suppose you all have a point! wink

WildBillfemale Fri 08-Aug-14 10:53:06

yep we smell others handcream on our cat sometime. He goes next door for fuss

PittTheYounger Fri 08-Aug-14 11:02:19

they are so disloyal

holdyourown Fri 08-Aug-14 16:02:39

my ex started to use new words, which presumably were words his OW used (think youthful 'buzzwords' type hmm)

PittTheYounger Fri 08-Aug-14 16:03:15

did he do a LOSER sign while he was there? grin

holdyourown Fri 08-Aug-14 16:13:30


TheWorldAccordingToJC Fri 08-Aug-14 16:25:12

My best friends partner was cheating on her. She knew this because there was lots of long blonde hair in his boxer shorts on several occasions shock

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Fri 08-Aug-14 17:18:51

I once smelled another woman on an ex of mines pubes but immediately doubted myself and put it to one side. But yep, he was cheating. The bastard.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Fri 08-Aug-14 17:21:38

I think smell is the strongest of all the senses though. I remember when ds was little, getting upset when friends wearing perfume had held him because he came back smelling all wrong.

And apparently when I was little I'd tell people their houses smelled bad blush - I wasn't a brat! They just smelled different and therefore 'wrong'.

oldgrandmama Fri 08-Aug-14 17:34:42

OH YES YES YES! I first suspected (now ex)H was shagging around when his shirt, put out to be washed, was smeared with makeup all down the front. He told me I was mad, imagining things, then said perhaps some woman had 'accidentally brushed up' against him in the squash club and inadvertently left the makeup ...! Hmmmm .... I knew he was up to something, especially when he then came home stinking of perfume.

Turned out he was screwing an Ow - my 'best friend'! What's more, she deliberately used to squirt perfume on him as he dropped her off after their assignations, so that I'd 'know'. Bloody effing bitch!

U2TheEdge Fri 08-Aug-14 22:49:22

My dad actually did come home smelling of perfume.

He once even had lipstick on his collar. What an awful cliche I know, but he really did.

Eekaman Fri 08-Aug-14 23:03:41

I've known a couple of girls who actually deliberately did things like moving the car seat, foot prints on the inside of the windscreen, make up on the shirt collar, lipstick on the boxers...

Was it just to try to cause trouble, or was it like a canine, peeing on each lamp post he walks past - leaving a mark?

littleSpud Fri 08-Aug-14 23:46:10

I know someone who sprayed their perfume in their mm's car

And put their feet up on the dash to leave shoe prints

And left their sunglasses in the glove box

Me a few years ago, nasty, silly little bitch I was sad

Kleptronic Sat 09-Aug-14 00:21:33

Whoa spud are you after a roasting?!
<sends out calming vibes>

Mine gave it away on so many levels I look back now and I'm amazed at my utter stupidity e.g. He had to stay out all night because a friend was suicidal. He stayed out because he was suicidal. The car was towed away outside the area (never got to the bottom of that one). His colleague tried to drunkenly kiss him in our house, when I was there, and he hid in bed. She followed. So many other things.

In my defence he also had me take him up and down and round the houses to mental health services (because, it turned out, I was so horrible and abusive I had made him ill) and I was suffering from PND myself (I found out later, after near-total disintegration).

The main tell was me hacking into his Facebook page and there it was.

Shit that's brought it all back.

Heathcliff27 Sat 09-Aug-14 00:39:16

My dad was having an affair years ago and came home with a tape of music he didn't normally listen to, it was the OW's fave tunes. He used to sit there listening to it with my mum knowing full well it was the OW's. He actually did a lot more than that, he made an absolute fool of my mum, arsehole that he is hmm

oaksettle Sat 09-Aug-14 00:47:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bikermouse1 Sat 09-Aug-14 06:21:58

A friend's oh rolled home 3.00ish, pretty drunk, couldn't get away- hellish day- non-stop meetings in the morning , business lunch, more meetings, settling new clients in their hotel, etc.etc., all the while dropping his clothes on the bedroom floor. Last thing off were his Y-fronts.

Which were on back to front

whatisforteamum Sat 09-Aug-14 09:06:18

My DH had a black eye after a night out and a huge hangover.Cross with his self pitying on the sofa i quizzed him about his eye.Hours later he admitted a bloke hit him..why because he shagged this blokes girlfriend in the pub car park !!! Knocked me for 6 as he was the quite type or so i thought.He said we werent married but we were engaged and had bought a house the yr before.

Eekaman Mon 11-Aug-14 09:53:50

Spud - I'd swear I know you, except I wasn't married when I was getting
presents accidentally left in my car smile

wohm Thu 14-Aug-14 18:10:30

Hi. New to mumsnet - and what a start! I found this thread googling "lipstick on collar" because of the photo I'm attaching to this message. What do you think it is? Something to worry about? I could go on and on about our relationship, and about when he wore that shirt, but I'll stop there for now. thanks.

StealthPolarBear Thu 14-Aug-14 18:19:07

How does lipstick get om the collar anyway? Neck kissing?

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