Pointy and nespressofan, thank you SO much for checking in! You're LOVELY :-)
LBZT..oh God, no I totally hear you, I think I am going to have years of shit with him about this. The truth is, I don't want to go back to the contact centre...I would only do this if there was a refusal to be contactable and I thought DS was unsafe. It was HIDEOUS there, I have a friend who has been doing this for 9 months now, her kids are totally screwed up with the whole thing...they are so small and think that daddy lives in this bloody place and they scream and cry every time. They take your child from you to take to the other parent, it is so distressing. I only did it for a few weeks and could see the effect on DS from the start. It is good from a safety POV, certainly when there are drugs and sexual abuse involved...thankfully the sexual abusers are kept separately from other parents, but you know when they are shuffled into another room...just horrendous. Please don't think that I am going to let him "get off", I won't. What I do know is that Mr WT is struggling to deal with it at all and I think that twice a week is as much as he can handle. He knows in his heart that if he could just walk away he would. He can't. He loves DS, that is clear, but it fucks with his head totally. I do think that if he was away from OW things would be easier. I still maintain, as do my PIL's, that contact will cease within a few months. He just can't cope. You only have to look at him...he is empty, a shell, fat and bloated from alcohol. I do hope all of this was worth it. I know that I am in for a long and possibly a lifetime of battles with him but I can deal with that as long as he sticks to the routine and keeps DS happy and safe. Even at 3, DS knows the days that Daddy is coming. I just wish he had his Daddy here and things were normal. But, it wasn't to be. I won't be agreeing to extra contact, I won't be allowing contact with OW or her sprog...and I won't do anything that upsets DS's routine. I think that's the right way to go? I love you for your honesty and plain speaking my darling, thank you :-) xxxxx