Just packed all his things.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

Just packed all ex partners things. I can literally feel my heart hurting. Never thought it would be this damn hard.

All I want is for him to change his mind but I know deep down this is what needs to happen for mine and DS's sake. I know it will get better but at the moment it's bloody unbearable.

[supersop60]

Sending you support. Wiser people will be along soon.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

Thank you

[Lweji]

Do you want to talk about it?

Why are you doing the packing?

[Ohbollocksandballs]

I'm not sure what I want. Apart from to feel better.

I'm packing because I don't want him in this house any longer than he needs to be. He is coming in around an hour to see 6mo DS, and get his things.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

I will be going out when he comes, my mum will supervise. I want to see him so bloody much but it will put me right back to square one.

[Jan45]

Stay strong and you are right, don't see him.

[Lweji]

You will feel better, but it will take time.

Meanwhile take care of yourself, and protect yourself too, as you are doing.
Your DS is the one who deserves your concern.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

I just want to feel like myself, before I met the bastard. The only happy memories are ones with DS, and back when we first got together.

I just keep thinking of when DS was born and how happy we were, and I honestly think that's the last time he actually loved, and respected me.

[Lookingforabetteryear]

I also have a baby and have recently split from partner. It will get better. It still kills me especially seeing families together but each day it improves. Open a bottle of wine and chill when babies in bed x

[Ohbollocksandballs]

Looking, when do you get out of the heartbroken, weepy stage?

I don't drink, but I'll be sure to have a tea and a chocolate orange.

[Lweji]

If you go no contact, you will recover more quickly. Keep it.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

I know. It's the nights which are awful. DS goes to bed at 7:30 then I'm alone. Don't much feel like seeing anyone.

Thank God for MN

[AdoraBell]

Could you get a friend to come over some evenings, or a sister if you have one. Have a bite to eat together, or go out if your baby's schedule allows it.

PPs are right, it is easier if you have no contact.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

My mum has been comeing over the past few nights. Helping me with DS as I just feel so bloody numb. He's due to come soon so I'm going out. Feel so so sick and hurt.

[Mum4Fergus]

I'm in exactly same situation OP. Packed up x stuff at Easter and loaded it all into his car. We have DS4 together or Id be no contact. As it is I've changed number so we can only email...heart still breaking, but know deep down it's the right thing for us all xx

[hamptoncourt]

Why is he having contact in your house? That really isn't going to help you get over this is it?

I know it is early days but you will recover far more quickly if you establish boundaries.

The pain will pass I promise.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

He's had contact here because I didn't want him taking DS anywhere, as he's threatened to take him before. Contact was supervised by my mum.

Apparently he's been such a twat because he hasn't been in love with me for months. Should of found his balls and left then, instead of keep comeing back like a bad bloody smell.

I've reached the anger stage, as you can tell.

[Ohbollocksandballs]

Excuse the spelling errors. Didn't even check!

[Lookingforabetteryear]

V similar to my situ. I wonder if they'll ever man up?

[Ohbollocksandballs]

Hopefully he'll just fuck off far, far away!

[Mum4Fergus]

Thinking if you OP...hope you have a good nights rest...

[Ohbollocksandballs]

Thankyou, I did. Little DS has been sleeping a lot better since he left.

[hamptoncourt]

Christ! He has threatened to take DS? Is this still a genuine threat do you think?

Unless your DM is armed, I can't really see how her being there is going to stop this?

[Ohbollocksandballs]

I'm not sure. He's said he wouldn't take him away from me as he needs me more than him, but once something like that is said it's difficult to go back from.

He asked to take him to the park last night when he was here apparently, but she told him no, and he was fine with it.

Had contact with him and his mum this morning. Both saying I'm using my son as a weapon, which I am not, and would never do. I want him to have contact with his dad until he is old enough to make his own decisions.

I've suggested a contact centre due to how nasty things are rapidly becoming. That was around 8 hours ago and I've heard absolutely nothing back.

Mum also mentioned when he was here last night he barely even bothered with DS, just sat on his phone. She also said he didn't arrange a lift home. My guess is he came expecting me to be here, and to worm his way back in, and that's why he's been so nasty this morning, because he's not got his own way.

This would be a hell of a lot easier if I didn't love him so much!

[lettertoherms]

Anger is good, keep the anger.

What someone said on MN once, and I've never forgotten: you don't love him, you love who you thought he was.

Who he actually is is a twat, trying to emotionally manipulate you and someone who can't even be bothered to interact with his son. It sounds like you're doing great, stay no contact, don't engage with anything that isn't about contact/your son. Just ignore anything else, respond to communication about your son.