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DH gets in weird moods when tired

(56 Posts)
BrazilNil Wed 09-Jul-14 22:12:52

Basically when my DH gets tired or has had a long day at work he literally turns into Kevin the Teenager from the Harry Enfield show! Lots of huffing, puffing, smart arse comments and often quite nasty cutting remarks and comments directed at me when I've done nothing wrong.

He doesn't normally work long hours but today did have an early start as he had to travel a 2 hour train journey and back. He got in at 5.30ish and of course I had a meal ready for him, but I could tell the second he walked through the door that he was in a bad mood. He was very ungrateful for the meal and just moaned about it when he was eating it, and then for a while every time I said anything to him he kept saying "Shuuuuuuuut up" in a really mocking teenagery voice.

He left his plate on the table; when he's in these moods he won't do anything to help in the house at all. But I didn't say anything and just cleaned and tidied the kitchen.

He then decided to take our youngest, who is 5, to the park for a walk. He said bye to me and I said "See ya" in a normal, pleasant voice, and he then mocked me in a horrible voice and said "See ya". I said "There is no need to mock me", and he said "I wasn't mocking you, I was saying bye". I said "you just repeated what I said in a mocking voice" and he said he hadn't repeated anything at all and that I'd imagined it and then he said really mockingly "Stop making things up!".

He got back from the park and was just basically a smart arse all evening, moaning about being tired, and if I said anything just coming out with random rude comments or put downs. So in the end I ignored him. He must have twigged I was ignoring him as he kept looking at me and saying "Charming!".

I feel really pissed off with him. I am getting to the stage where I'm starting to be less attracted to him because of his behaviour and moods, and feel like I deserve better.

frames Wed 09-Jul-14 22:14:38

I am not surprised by your feelings. Who the hell does he think he is?

ImperialBlether Wed 09-Jul-14 22:14:52

He sounds horrible! How often does he get tired?

BrazilNil Wed 09-Jul-14 22:16:31

It depends really; sometimes it is once a month or so, or sometimes every day for a fortnight.

We recently had a family mini break and he was tired and moody the whole time

CocktailQueen Wed 09-Jul-14 22:19:16

OMG. He sounds absolutely hideous. And a crap role model for your dc. WTF?? Does he behave like this with friends - or just with you?

Bruins Wed 09-Jul-14 22:20:41

Start calling him Kevin.
Yes Kevin, No Kevin, Bye Kevin.

Tell him you cannot sleep with a teenage brat.

AnyFucker Wed 09-Jul-14 22:21:57

"of course" you had a meal ready for him ?

therein lies your problem...

frames Wed 09-Jul-14 22:22:43

I wouldn't be able to deal with him. I would have lost the plot. What a bloody nightmare. I would be out, a lot.

Shakey1500 Wed 09-Jul-14 22:22:47

Jeez he's acting like a complete twat.

I'd be worried at the comments announcing that you're "making things up" hmm Trying to make you doubt yourself so you'll question whether you're to blame. You're not. He sounds a twat still. Sorry.

Have you spoke to him when he's in (whatever passes for) a "good" mood?

Lookingforabetteryear Wed 09-Jul-14 22:31:17

We all get tired but we choose how to behave towards others. I think his behaviour is concerning and I agree with the post above about doubting yourself

Bruins Wed 09-Jul-14 22:31:29

The description you give of his behaviour makes me feel very edgy and angry, I wouldn't handle it well at all.

You do deserve better. Good luck.

newnamesamegame Wed 09-Jul-14 22:34:35

to be honest he sounds like an abusive wanker and tiredness has bugger all to do with it. Mothers of newborns experience tiredness way beyond the scale of what he's going through. Being tired is not a get out of jail pass to be a twat.

It sounds like you are giving him a free pass on this and need to make it very clear that you won't tolerate this.

Bruins Wed 09-Jul-14 22:35:14

Do you ask him, Who the fuck he thinks he's talking to?

Or would that be just me then?

BrazilNil Wed 09-Jul-14 22:36:55

I've said to him before that I won't tolerate him being in a mood but he then turns it around and says he won't tolerate me being bossy/telling him how to behave or alternatively says I am the one who is being moody, when I'm not

AnyFucker Wed 09-Jul-14 22:38:02

he is an arsehole, I am not surprised you don't find him sexy

JustSquirted Wed 09-Jul-14 22:38:53

You didn't say anything and cleaned up his plate and tidied the kitchen?
Don't let him behave like this. You're enabling him.
He's an adult.
Give him shit woman. Don't put up with it by not saying anything.

Namechangearoonie123 Wed 09-Jul-14 22:41:06

He's not tired.

He's a cunt.

AskBasil Wed 09-Jul-14 22:41:20

Why on earth did you have a meal ready for him?

Why on earth did you clean up his shit for him?

He's a total arsehole. And you're a skivvy to an arsehole.

Is this what you wanted for your life?

AskBasil Wed 09-Jul-14 22:42:04

And yes, agree, it's not because he's tired.

It's becuase he's an unbearable prick.

Of course he's not sexy.

Bruins Wed 09-Jul-14 22:57:41

This thread has really touched a nerve with me.

I think I may have experienced something similar once. That feeling of being belittled and ridiculed. Horrible, disgusting way to treat anyone.

Do not accept it.

tallwivglasses Wed 09-Jul-14 23:00:17

Playground bully-boy tactics, humiliation, gaslighting and downright rudeness. LTB.

thenightsky Wed 09-Jul-14 23:03:28

He sounds painful to live with.

thisisnow Wed 09-Jul-14 23:06:53

He sounds really immature. You're a saint I could not live with that. When me or my OH are tired we just take ourselves off to bed early or let the other know that we might not be so chatty as we're tired. Has he always been like it or is there a chance he is trying to show off in front of your children?

Squidstirfry Wed 09-Jul-14 23:07:11

Shocking twunt. Do better.

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Wed 09-Jul-14 23:19:35

If he would not speak to another bloke like it (& I assure you he wouldn't!) Why tf should you be expected to tolerate this shite. I can see why the thought of sex with him is a turn off. I wouldn't want to shag him either, not exactly endearing is it? I would be started to disengage and look to a arsehole free future if I were you. Sorry you have this in your life, you don't deserve this type of treatment I'm sure.

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