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Gutted :'-(

(103 Posts)
Sassy777 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:14:46

Been seeing a lovely guy for a few weeks now and this morning he phones to tell me his life is too busy and he needs to break it off with me. He is a couple of months away from finishing his house and his ex still lives there and won't move out until the house is sold and she gets her cut. She's on his back all the time about it apparently.

I'm gutted as I really like him. He's just sent me a long email explaining himself and I just don't even know if I can be bothered to respond. He wants to phone me again tonight but it's pointless isn't it. He says he likes me too much and wasn't expecting to like someone this much. But he's away with work next week and then away again for 2 weeks in august. I just feel like telling him to grow some! But it wouldn't solve anything.

Mrsgrumble Wed 09-Jul-14 18:17:57


I would (and have) no more contact at all. What I have found is, if you stay in contact there is the possibility of becoming casual (ie. end up in bed but no ties).

So walk away. I feel for you though. I hate the whole 'you're the best thing that ever happened to me shit while they walk off'.

LoisPuddingLane Wed 09-Jul-14 18:18:13

Too busy huh. Just refuse the phone call - whatever his reasons are, it's not what you want. Sorry it's ending like this but I don't buy the "too busy" anyway - either back with his ex or he's playing the field, I reckon.

TalisaMaegyr Wed 09-Jul-14 18:19:27

If he wanted to make time, he would. Because that's what you do, isn't it?

Fuck him off. NEXT!

Minime85 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:24:56

That's sucks sassy. I agree don't take the call and don't respond.

MagpieMama Wed 09-Jul-14 18:25:33

I agree with the other posters. Don't respond to him, answer calls etc as it'll just drag it out.
Call your mates and go out and have some fun with them instead winewine

Sassy777 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:27:32

exactly talisamaegyr, i make time for people i want to see. he does have a lot to do on his house and wants his ex out and thinks the only way to do that is to finish the house. i do believe him on that actually... he said he didn't expect to get this close to someone so quickly and is worried he can't spend the time he wants with me... argh it's shit but at least he's told me now i guess...

Sassy777 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:28:24

my best mate is coming over tonight :-)

he did mention something about waiting til he finishes the house but i can't exactly rememeber. i was too shocked.

Holdthepage Wed 09-Jul-14 18:28:25

Don't reply, don't take his call.

superstarheartbreaker Wed 09-Jul-14 18:29:19

So he lives with his ex ATM..? know you don't need this baggage in your life. Forget and move on.

LoisPuddingLane Wed 09-Jul-14 18:30:03

It's bullshit. Even if it's not - second place to some DIY? FUCK THAT.

Dirtybadger Wed 09-Jul-14 18:31:05

You're too busy to take the call later, sorry!

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun Wed 09-Jul-14 18:31:07

Move on. What will be will be.

Sassy777 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:32:46

yeah they have separate bedrooms. he showed me round his house last week and it looks like a bombsite!

Sassy777 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:33:08

lol dirtybadger!

thenightsky Wed 09-Jul-14 18:33:56

Are you sure his ex is really ex? Where is he going for two weeks in august?

thenightsky Wed 09-Jul-14 18:34:25

sorry... x post

Sassy777 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:34:54

he's going to help his dad with some building work (he lives abroad)

LoisPuddingLane Wed 09-Jul-14 18:36:07

Many, many years ago I met this bloke at a party. We dated a bit and then he went a bit funny. Started putting his evening class homework ahead of seeing me. Turned out he got back with his that's why I'm a bit wary of ridiculous excuses.

Ragwort Wed 09-Jul-14 18:39:12

It's just a polite twattish way of getting rid of you to be blunt (I have used similar wording blush). If he wanted to carry on seeing you it wouldn't matter that he was away for a week and then another two weeks - my DH and met when we lived 200 miles apart and only saw each other once every three weeks or so until we got married smile.

gamerchick Wed 09-Jul-14 18:39:41

My first thought was he's lining you up to be his booty call. Somewhere to land every now and then to drop various loads and distress.

Time to move on I think, it sounds too fucked up a situation to get involved in.

BeforeAndAfter Wed 09-Jul-14 18:43:29

Hmm, the fact that he tells you he can't be with you but then wants more contact and tells you how amazing you are (but not quite amazing enough to put down that paint brush...) says to me he's lining you up to be an FWB while he re-woos the ex.

Sorry but I wouldn't touch a bloke that lives with his ex, I really wouldn't. Even if they really wouldn't touch each other there's so much baggage waiting to unfold as they separate and carve everything up that I wouldn't want a ringside seat to that.

flightywoman Wed 09-Jul-14 18:43:57

It's just toss. I'm sorry, I think he's trying to 'let you down gently'.

His ex is his ex. She therefore might be a royal PITA, but she's an ex. So what if he sees you? What's she going to do? Make it difficult for him? That only works if he cares or she has any influence or power.

He's able to go away to work on his dad's house but not to see you regularly?

Nah, ignore and block, he isn't worth your time if he can't make the effort.

GrannyOnTheSchoolRun Wed 09-Jul-14 18:44:16

And the more explaining a person does the more likely then whole thing is suspect.

I'm sorry you're hurting but you will be ok. xxx

Sassy777 Wed 09-Jul-14 18:46:32

the diy is actually proper building work as in a big extension and rewiring etc... but yes i do agree with you all.

i'm not going to contact him. i feel so sad about it all as i was really falling for him. we had loads of lovely dates and were seeing eachother 3 times a week.

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